


Silence Says So Much

by fanficsandfluff



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Accidental Use of the Force, Aftermath of Torture, Attempted Sexual Assault, Awkward Crush, Crushes, Disability, Disabled Character, Drama, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Sensitivity, Force Training, Injury, Kylo Ren Redemption, Love Triangles, Muteness, Redeemed Ben Solo, Redemption, Resistance, Resistance Member Ben Solo, Sharing a Bed, The Dark Side of the Force, The Force, Tickling, Torture, Training, Unrequited Crush, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 83,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24541387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficsandfluff/pseuds/fanficsandfluff
Summary: Maisie Roanes has been serving the Resistance since it started. Now, with the war over, their job is to remove every last remaining First Order supporter in the galaxy. She's smart, talented, and she works around her disability best she can. Maisie notices things happening to her that she can't quite explain... well, maybe she can explain them but she just cannot believe it.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Poe Dameron/Finn, Poe Dameron/Original Character(s), Poe Dameron/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

“You’re going to cr-cr-crash.”

“Wow, don’t sound so terrified-- _ow!_ ”

“Shut up and kee-ee-eeeeeee---”

 _Shit._ Maisie grabbed the droid and tapped it on its loose back panel so it’d shut up. She then fastened into her seat as the ship shook and rattled, hurtling through the atmosphere. Her eyes grew wide before she squeezed them shut as they (her and “master pilot” Poe) went in for a rocky landing. Despite being thrown forward, her elbow smashing into a control knob, and the complete decimation of rows and rows of trees and wildlife... they landed. The ship didn’t totally combust. 

Heart pounding, Maisie opened her eyes and looked to her left. That dashing smile was flashing right at her, curls wayward and askew, and even that smudge of fuel on his cheek was radiating its own attractive gravitational field. 

“I knew we’d be fine,” Poe pointed out just as smugly as he looked. 

Maisie rolled her eyes and unbuckled herself, grabbing her droid and exiting the cockpit. 

“Aw, don’t be mad! Mais!” Poe rushed after her, tripping when his foot got tangled in a loose wire completely burst from its panel, now smoking. The pilot was pushing his way through ship crew working to put out the now largely on-fire B-wing.

 _Stupid droid with your stupid malfunctions... and of course Poe had to be right... again._ Maisie’s inner monologue was running rampant. She stormed off, not even bothering to help fix the ship, which was much unlike her. 

“Mais!” Poe grabbed onto Maisie’s arm and swung her around so she was facing him and no longer walking away from him at a steady clip. She looked at him, lips pursed into a small pout. 

“I’m sorry. I got carried away.”

She continued staring at him. Her droid suddenly squeaked and flashed on, saying a fritzed, “D-D-Dick---errrrrr.....” Maisie smacked the back panel again, shutting it up once more. Poe sighed, unable to show a slight smirk. 

“I’ll make sure to go to lightspeed 3 clips earlier next time... like you said. Promise.”

Even without her speaking, Poe usually knew what she was thinking and meant to say. She continued to show him her puss. Poe squeezed her shoulder, showing her another big grin, “Huh?” 

Maisie rolled her eyes and nodded and Poe pulled her into a hug, “And hey, you didn’t have to hit me so hard before.”

_And you didn’t have to **make** me hit you, you big dumb handsome idiot..._

Maisie patted Poe’s shoulder, now showing him a small smile to show they weren’t on bad terms anymore. A familiar beeping far off behind Poe alerted the two of them to another droid’s presence. 

“I’ll see you later, alright?” Poe smiled at Maisie and gave her a kiss on the cheek before running off to meet up with his BB-8 companion unit who he hadn’t seen since they left for their mission a week ago. Maisie spent a few extra seconds watching Poe cuddle up to the droid, scratching its metal stomach, hugging it; the works. She sighed and went off to find an available workspace, still carrying her droid in her arms. 

_Alright, buddy, let’s see what went wrong this time._

Maisie set her droid down under the shade of a tent with a slightly messy worktable under it. She sifted through the tools until she found what she needed and got to work, unfastening her droid’s loose panel. 

_I was using the wrong conductor wire. Damn._

While there was nothing she could do about the faulty wire yet, she instead worked on cosmetically and practically fixing up her droid. The droid sprung to life after a few jabs and taps. He was a little like a D-O unit in shape, but only in the head. The head was a conical speaker and the body looked more akin to a BB unit, since it was a ball. 

“What are we gonna do with you?” the droid echoed mechanically what was in Maisie’s head. She smirked and continued tinkering. 

“Stop fidgeting.”

Maisie was trying to pry out the frayed wires inside the droid’s body but it was still active so it was rolling back and forth. So much so that with one big jab with a screwdriver, the droid leapt off the worktable and started dashing down the hill.

_Shit shit shit._

Maisie chased after the droid pushing past other Resistance members who didn’t take much care towards the droid, either not seeing anything wrong with it or just too busy with their own tasks. Maisie was flying down the hill but this damn droid was fast! She was looking down at it and still running at top speed when she saw a boot gently press against the droid, stopping it from moving any further. Maisie skidded her heels into the dirt, gasping and she luckily stopped herself from barreling into the person who stopped her droid, though she did bump straight into them.

_Sorry! Sorry, I’m so so sorry._

It was a man who she didn’t exactly recognize, though to be fair she didn’t know _every_ Resistance member super well. 

“S-Sorry,” the droid now spoke, its wheel still motoring though he wasn’t moving anywhere, so he was digging himself deeper into the dirt. Maisie snatched up the droid and wrestled with its motor before turning that part of it off. She was panting and looked at the man, who was looking very confused himself. 

“Thank you. I gotta gro---glow---ggggo,” she tapped the droid again and sighed, blushing. God, she was a mess. And she abruptly turned around and started making her way back up the hill. 

It happened to be Ben Solo Maisie bumped into. Not that she recognized him by sight, having never been introduced to the ex-First Order Supreme Leader and even when she knew about Kylo Ren, it was only the masked man. Ben tilted his head and watched Maisie walk up the hill, remarking to himself what a strange encounter that was. He continued on his original path, making sure to keep an eye out for any other rogue droids. 

“Don’t you ever do that again, or I’ll ppppermanently disable your motor,” the droid stuttered.

Maisie perhaps a little roughly placed the droid back on her worktable. She sighed and wiped sweat off her brow. It’s been a stressful week and an even more stressful day. She’d gone with Poe and Ryane, another Resistance member, on a small mission to retrieve some information about scattered First Order supporters in the galaxy. Even though the First Order itself had been disbanded, it didn’t mean there weren’t still avid followers and evildoers out in the galaxy. That’s why the Resistance never really disbanded. Poor Ryane... they lost him halfway through their mission. 

Maisie finished working on her droid best she could, now mostly having corrected its audio function. She kept its motor off for good measure. Then she went to get some food. 

“Maisie,” Rose Tico ran up to the woman, “Hey, I wanted to say sorry about Ryane. He was a great technician and a great person,” she rested a hand on Maisie’s shoulder. Maisie turned to face Rose and hugged her. 

“But you had a successful mission otherwise. That’s so good to hear,” the two walked together, “They’re already getting a team together to go after the ones in the Dagmar system.”

Maisie showed Rose a thumbs up. That’s when Rose realized, “Where’s your CC-1 unit?”

Maisie pointed a thumb behind them and mimed using a tool on something. Rose nodded, “Still giving you problems, huh?”

Maisie nodded and they got to the dining hall. Maisie didn’t realize how starving she was until the smell of hot food reached her nostrils. 

After filling her plate up, Maisie looked for a good seat. A roar of laughter sounded from the other side of the hall and she could see a group of pilots, technicians, data analysts, etc. in a big circle crowding around... of course it was Poe. He seemed to be treating everyone to a story. 

Maisie rolled her eyes and smiled to herself. That man could get anyone’s attention and hold it for as long as he wanted. He was such a fun person, it was entirely infectious. Rose bid goodbye to Maisie so she could go sit by Finn, who had summoned her with a waving hand. Maisie went off to eat by herself in a more sparsely populated area of the dining hall. Lord knows she needed the peace and quiet after a week in tight quarters with Poe. 

Hmm... maybe she could’ve benefited from another week in tight quarters with Poe. _Shut up, Maisie._

Another bout of laughter sounded from the far end of the hall. She had to grin, wondering what story he chose to tell this time. Maybe it was the fake Kessel Run one? Or the one with him, Snap, and the ounce of spice? Damn, she knew too many of the tales. Maisie grabbed the last dinner roll off her plate and took it with her as she exited the dining hall. Better not to be around Poe any longer than she had to. She retrieved CC-1 from the worktable she left it at and then made it back to her tent. 

Maisie got ready for bed and reveled in the peace and quiet she had missed for a week. She kept her tent further away from camp than any of the others and she didn’t share it with anyone. Just her and her CC-1 unit. And she only recently moved to this particular location, after suffering the loss of her first tent by a drunken rowdy pilot burning it to the ground by accident. She picked her secluded spot for a few reasons. At night, now that the war was over, a lot of the crew would be up late at night, partying, making a lot of noise. It left her unable to sleep. She also had her own routines that she didn’t really want to change by living in a group commune back up closer to the camps. And lastly, she felt a certain unexplainable peace having parked herself close to the location where General Organa passed away. This area might have very well been haunted, but it brought Maisie comfort; like there was someone else who was quiet like her and it kept her company. 

Maisie laid down and faced her droid.

“Do you think I’m in over my head with PPPoe?”

She listened to the droid mechanically recite what was in her head. 

“I mean, he’s so cute. He’s ffun-funny. He’s really affectionate... but he’s affectionate with everyone...” Maisie heard her thoughts spoken aloud by the droid and it made her frown. She didn’t exactly seem to fancy hearing for herself what she always thought about Poe. What she’s always wrestled with for as long as she’s known him. 

“He’ll never be into me.”

Maisie sighed aloud and rolled over onto her back, staring at the ceiling. She looked back at her droid. 

“Maybe we can get you another upgrade. Some AI? So I can actually have a conversation with you and not just hear you repeat everything?”

The droid’s head turned back to Maisie, seeming to also face her. She smiled softly and shut her light for the night, ready for some solid rest. 


	2. Chapter 2

Maisie was sleeping peacefully until she was awoken by some strange noises. Well, they weren’t exactly strange, they were just unusual for this area at this time of night. She rubbed her eyes and blinked them awake. She lay in silence for a few moments, trying to find the sound again. It was a man’s voice and it was talking seemingly not too far from her tent. 

Maisie crawled out of her tent and looked left and right. She heard the voice again and started walking in its direction. 

“... just don’t feel like I’m meant to be here. I feel like half of me is missing and I feel like...” the voice stopped just as Maisie stepped on a twig and it snapped. She shuffled back behind a wall. Whoops. 

“Hello?” the voice spoke again. Now her cover was blown. Who was this man talking to? She was about to sneak off when the man stepped around the corner and suddenly a lightsaber was flashing blue right by her face. Maisie gasped and fell to the floor. 

The lightsaber illuminated the stranger’s face. Ben Solo put the saber away, “I’m sorry,” he went over and offered a hand to the fallen technician. Maisie took his hand and stood up again. 

Ben looked at her in the near-complete darkness, but shadows from the moons and stars gave off enough light. She was small and stocky in size and she had tight curls that were matted on one side. Maybe from sleep? She was in sleep clothing. Why wasn’t she saying anything?

“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Ben continued. 

Maisie shook her head, immediately recognizing him as the man she ran into earlier who stopped her droid. And seeing that he had a lightsaber, she had a pretty good idea of who he was. She lifted up her hand as sort of an apology and goodbye best she could articulate. And she turned around and started to leave. 

This brought back a moment of deja vu to Ben and he followed her, “Wait.”

Maisie figured she wasn’t going to lose him so she nodded at him and gestured for him to follow her anyway. She walked back to her tent and went inside to retrieve her droid.

Ben looked around, not having seen this tent here before. Must not have been here very long. Maisie reemerged from her tent and was holding her CC-1.

“I’m sorry I snuck up on y-yyyyou.”

Ben stared at her and then the droid, now putting the pieces together. He knew she was the woman from earlier with this same runaway droid.

“I see you’ve successfully stopped it from moving,” he gestured towards the droid. Maisie flashed a small smile, lips still pursed together. 

“And sorry about that, too.”

Ben looked at the woman for a little longer before he said, “You can’t speak?”

Maisie shook her head while the droid answered, “No.”

Well, that explained all the odd behavior, Ben thought. 

“I’m Ben.”

“Maisie.”

There was a silence before Ben said, “It’s late. I should let you get back to sleep. Goodnight.”

“Goodnightttt--” Maisie had to bang the droid again to make sure it wouldn’t freeze like that. Ben turned away and walked off. 

Maisie sighed and climbed back inside her tent. She still wanted to know who Ben Solo was talking to when she interrupted him. No one else came out of the cave with him. She decided not to worry about it and fell back asleep. 

~~~

When she woke, Maisie went off to the showers to bathe and then she got ready for the day. It turned out to be a gorgeous one, at that. The sun was bright, not a cloud in the sky, and there was an ever so soft breeze that occasionally brushed by. She was going to spend the day outside. 

While at breakfast, she sat today with Rose, Beaumont, and Lieutenant Connix. Maisie had sort of an issue with making friends. She trusted basically everyone on the team. It wasn’t that she lacked social skills.... well, maybe that was part of it. It was just too hard to explain herself and her story to every new person she met, even if she liked them a lot. And also most people didn’t know how to handle her. They don’t know how to communicate with her, especially if CC-1 isn’t around her. So, Maisie liked the seclusion. It was just easier. But she liked to think she was friends with Rose, and these were Rose’s friends. She sat and ate her breakfast with a book laid out in front of her. 

“No CC-1 today, Maisie?” Rose inquired.

Maisie flipped to a page in her book that she wasn’t using and wrote down, _Too glitchy_. Rose read and nodded, leaving the subject alone for now.

Maisie chewed on fruit as she was sketching and writing ideas and algorithms for maybe a new body for her droid. She was thinking a watch. So it’d always be with her to communicate for her. Then again, building such a mechanism would require a lot of her time; more than she’d ever spent on making a droid in the past. And it probably required more skill than she had anyway. She sighed frustratedly and shut her book. 

Someone slid into the spot on the bench directly next to Maisie just then, squeezing in so tight their thighs were touching. Of course it was grinning Poe.

“Hey,” he smiled at Maisie, “Good morning, guys,” he waved to the rest of the people at this table and they responded with the same greeting.

“So, what’re you doing today?”

Maisie barely rose her shoulders in a shrug before Poe continued, “Great, so you wanna come to the lake later on?” Poe sensed her apprehension so he went on, “It’ll just be you and me...” Maisie’s eyes grew larger, hopeful, _Oh my god is this the moment?_ “... and some of the guys. Finn, Snap, some others.” Maisie tried not to show her disappointment too much. “What’d you say?”

Maisie shook her head and Poe nudged her, “Come on, Mais! It’ll be good for you! Some extra socializing. And it’s a perfect day. Please?” 

Maisie turned her head away from Poe but he just nudged her again and leaned even closer to her, trying to look at her face. She risked a glance at him and saw him wiggle his eyebrows. She smiled, unable to help herself. Poe laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulder to give her a side hug, “Great! I’ll see you at a little before noon. We’re taking the speeders from the lot, so meet us there,” he slid out of his seat on the bench next to her and waved, jogging off to do whatever it was Poe did right now. 

Maisie watched him go, suddenly aware of how hot her cheeks were getting. She ducked her head and cleared her suddenly dry throat, standing up so she could discard her breakfast dishes. Now she’d have to make sure CC-1 was up and running by noon. So, she went back to her tent and busied herself with a borrowed tool kit. 

Maisie then left her tent before noon and had her CC-1 unit up and running and following her as she headed for the lot a little off-site where the speeders and other ground vehicles were kept. Upon arriving, she quickly realized she was the only female to join this brigade. _What the hell did Poe imply by only inviting me?_

She was starting to get mad and her thoughts were soon to seep through to her droid before she heard Poe call her name and beckon her over. _Oh please please tell me there’s at least one other female officer coming._ Maisie made it over and she recognized all of the faces in this group of only about 10. This made her feel slightly better. Though she wasn’t particularly close with any of them besides Poe. 

“Nice of you to join us,” Poe smiled at her and said to the group, “And we’re all good to head out. You can ride with me,” he instructed Maisie. She picked up CC-1 and fastened it to the back of the speeder as she hopped on behind Poe. She then quickly held onto his waist, knowing how fast these things go. 

“Ready?” Poe asked before getting her approval and then taking off. Halfway through the ride, Maisie realized Poe was getting into a four-way race between himself, Finn, Snap, and Trach.

She could feel the rumble in his chest when he chuckled and went to a higher speed. Maisie clung to him tighter, even pinching his side in a warning manner.

“Hehey!” Poe flinched but he kept driving, yelling over the loud noise of their speeder and the wind in their ears, “You’re gonna make me crash!”

 _Something you’re way too used to_ , Maisie responded but the droid wasn’t heard over the noise. Finally, without casualty and with Snap winning, they arrived at the lake. Maisie hopped off the speeder the minute it stopped moving and she shot Poe a look before going to take her droid out.

Poe chuckled, “Whahat? I had to.”

“And you lost.”

That seemed to hurt his ego a bit, “Yeah, well... whatever,” and he walked away to get closer to the lake. Maisie smirked. 

Maisie hadn’t been to the lake before. She knew one of the men discovered it right after the war. The longer Maisie took to get her droid set up, the more she realized how bad of an idea her coming was. She was stuck and about to see Poe shirtless for definitely more than one hour. She didn’t know if she can handle it.

“He’s too fucking hot.”

“Who is?”

Poe was back and like she predicted, was now removing his shirt and kicking off his shoes by the speeder to keep his belongings.

“N-No, I, meee--- Me. I’m hot. I’m warm. It’s very hot outside.”

Maisie’s cheeks were red again. Poe smiled and joked, “You’re right. And getting in the water will fix that right up. C’mon,” and he jogged off towards the water. 

Maisie exhaled sharply, covering her face in her hands. 

“That was close.”

She eyed her droid. 

“You never work when I want you to and now you’re out exposing my secrets to the world. Shh,” she kicked off her own shoes and removed her outer clothing to reveal a more skintight onepiece of clothing that would allow her to move in the water freely. She made her way to the lakeside and smiled. It was beautiful. She didn’t even know if it should be called a lake. It had a waterfall at one end and all around were different rocks that surrounded the crystal clear water. Snap had just jumped off one of those rocks and landed with a huge splash into the water. 

She approached one of the rocks that she could jump off of but was bumped into from behind, nearly sending her off the edge. 

“Sorry!” two hands pulled her back, “Excuse me, I’m really sorry. The rocks are kinda slippery. Oh hi. Maisie, right?”

Maisie nodded, “Hi, Finn,” she put on a smile so he wouldn’t feel as bad about bumping her. 

“Glad you could come,” he smiled at her and patted her shoulder, “Were you gonna jump?”

Maisie nodded and her droid spoke, “Yes. Sorry, I’m a little nervous. It could take me a second.”

“Don’t be. This is my first time in any kind of pool situation. For relaxation, that is. G’head, I’m not gonna rush you.”

Maisie appreciated that. She stood at the edge of a rock, took a few deep breaths, and then jumped off, landing in the water not two seconds later. She popped up and got some air, wiping hair from her eyes. The water felt soooo good. She turned and watched as Finn dove in... well, more like fell in. He was flailing limbs all the way down. It made her giggle. Maisie waded to her own corner of the lake by the edge, already all too keen to resume her normal practices of staying in solitude. 

She wound up close to the waterfall so the rushing noise of water hitting water was basically deafening. She stared up at where the waterfall started and saw the sunlight shining through the canopy of trees. This was such a blissful place. She swished her hands back and forth through the clear water, seeing the waves she made with just her touch. She then stared at the waterfall itself, seeing the water cascading down. Maisie wondered what was behind it, if it were a cave or just rock wall. She approached it and stuck her hand into the veil, not expecting it to suddenly part of its own accord, just based on her touch. She shot her hand back and the water closed in on itself and resumed its normal flow. Maisie stared from her hand to the waterfall, unsure of what just happened. She didn’t have much time to dwell on it before water was sloshed into her back, drenching her. Then she heard laughter from one very sneaky man. She groaned softly and turned around, wiping water from her face.

“You gonna join us or are you happy just pruning in this end by yourself all day?”

Maisie splashed Poe, smirking as she waded her way past him to go towards the rest of the crew. CC-1 had rolled its way to the other side of the lake, where there was sand and grass at level with the water. He stationed himself closer to Maisie without actually getting in the water.

“Woah woah woah! Am I hearing my dignity being slaughtered right now?” Poe swam over to the group of guys who had apparently been teasing him behind his back, all in good jest. Now he just had to make things right. 

Maisie smiled softly and she leaned over by the ledge where her droid was. She patted its body lovingly. 

“Water feels great, huh?” Finn came over and rested himself beside her.

“You got tired of hearing about Poe and his infinite manhood? Shocking.”

Finn laughed and scratched his head, “Yeahah it’s all old news to me. How long have you known Poe?”

“Since the beginning of the formation of the Resistance. We were based on the same planet so we got to know eeee---” Maisie tapped the droid, “ee-each other.”

Finn glanced at the droid but he was still smiling, “That’s really cool. I mean, you two seem close. He talks about you a lot.”

Maisie flushed and her mind started to race, but she prayed her droid wouldn’t pick up on these thoughts. 

“Yeah? I haven’t seen him warm up to anyone as quickly as he did to you. So that’s something.”

Finn now smiled more bashfully and he shrugged, “Yeah, I love the guy. He’s a great pilot, just a freaking honorable man.”

Maisie smiled at that sentiment. Her curiosity got the best of her, “What does he say about me? When he talks about me, like you said..”

Finn looked back at her, “It’s all good things, trust me. He tells stories about missions you went on together. But I see it, too. You guys tease each other like there’s no tomorrow. He sees you just like a little sister,” Finn smiled.

Maisie zoned out for a second after hearing that. Like a sister? Luckily, that didn’t come out in her droid’s voicebox. She tried to keep her mind shut off.

“Excuse me,” she hoisted herself off the ledge and started walking away, making her way around the pool to get to the other side by the speeders. CC-1 followed. Finn frowned slightly. Did he say something? He let it go, heading back over to the group of guys. 

“Sister!?” the voicebox nearly exploded when Maisie reached the speeders. She grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her shoulders. Then she started to pace. 

“It’s not fair,” Maisie started to pout, her lip quivering, “Everyone is in love with Poe. And when I’m in love with him, it isn’t valid. I-I spent so much of mmmeiiiii lilililillllll---” Maisie kicked the malfunctioning droid out of anger. 

Almost immediately, she regretted it. She knelt down on the ground and righted her droid, _CC... I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry. You okay?_

The droid shook its head out to straighten itself out and she rubbed its conical nose. 

_If he loves me like a sister..._ Maisie sniffled, _Then I guess I’m just gonna have to get over him, hm? Love him like a brother._

Maisie huffed and plopped herself onto the ground, _Easier said than done._

Maisie took some time to herself. She quit her tears and sniffles and calmed herself. After all, that was just Finn’s opinion. It was how he saw things. 

“Maybe if you just told him you think he’s amazing and you want to be with him...”

Maisie looked at CC giving her third-person monologue right back to her. 

“Nah,” Maisie shook her head and she had to chuckle, running fingers through her damp hair. She had to get over herself and stop wallowing. Maisie stood up, threw her towel off, and she marched back towards the lake where all the men still were. She wasn’t exactly trying to make a big reentrance, so she got to the shallow end of the pool and slipped back inside. The sun was hitting her perfectly and she felt more at peace than she did now than she did in a long time. She got her frustration out and now it was just her and the water. Maisie lay on her back and floated on top of the water, closing her eyes. Life was peaceful and serene...

Only for about a minute because in the next, Maisie felt her ankle being yanked and she went underwater as she was pulled by her ankle. It was released and all she could hear was Poe’s laughter over her own coughs and catching her own breath.

“I-I didn’t mean for you to drohown!” Poe said through laughs. Maisie shook her head, miming slitting his throat. She swam at him and jumped on him, effectively putting his head underwater for a few seconds before he popped up. 

“Cohome here!” Poe reached out after whipping water from his eyes and Maisie smiled and backed away. But Poe got her and pulled her towards him, “You’re playing. She’s playing!” he called back to the group of guys, who subsequently cheered.

 _Playing what?_ Maisie thought. She was dragged over to the guys. 

“Shoulder wars, me and Maisie are a team.”

_Oh no._

“I wanna be on top,” Snap called out, making everyone laugh. 

“You’ll be a damn good bottom though. I want to be with Snap,” Trach called out and stood by the guy. Everyone else claimed their partners. 

“Since Snap was first to get here, he and Trach go first. Pick your partners, gentlemen,” Poe grinned. 

They chose and the games began. Maisie sunk into the water up to her neck, watching what ensued. Snap and Trach won two in a row, and then he challenged Poe.

“Let’s see what you got, Mr. Big Mouth!”

The others laughed and Poe went over with Maisie following behind. She got onto Poe’s shoulders and was raised out of the water. Maisie faced Trach and smiled, extending a hand to shake before they began. 

“Don’t fall for it, everything can be a scheme!” Jorrah called from the sidelines, making others laugh. 

Trach, being a gentleman, didn’t listen and instead shook Maisie’s hand back. But she quickly yanked his hand forward and kicked at Poe, wanting him to walk back, which he did. This yanking caused Trach to grow top-heavy as he was leaning forward and not backward, much harder to recover from. And he fell face-first into the water, though Snap still tried to hold him onto his shoulders. 

“Yeahah!” Poe exclaimed and he cheered, along with the other men who were yelling and laughing and teasing and cheering all over the place. 

“I think that was cheap!” Trach contested.

“You’re supposed to push, not pull!” Snap joined in.

Poe smiled wide, still having Maisie up on his shoulders, “I think you guys are just sore losers. We did everything perfectly legal, right, Mais?”

Maisie looked at the ex-winning team and shrugged innocently. Trach chuckled and he wagged a finger at her, “You’re a smart one. Okay, who’s taking them down next!?”

“Finn and I!” Beaumont and Finn had already faced Trach and Snap and lost. They wanted redemption.

With Finn providing the bottom support and Beaumont on top, the fight began. This time a bit more legally. Maisie and Beau went back and forth pushing at each other’s shoulders, sometimes getting into a lock. Maisie knew Beau wasn’t going easy on her because she knew just how strong she was in comparison. 

Finn was barely focused on Beaumont above him as much as he was looking at Poe in front of him, water splashing all around them. He got an idea. He knew Beau could handle himself up there for at least a little longer, so he let go of his thigh with one hand and reached it out under the water. His fingers searched for Poe’s side and scratched at it when it was found. Poe yelped and jumped back, causing Maisie to be off-balance for a second. 

“Finn...”

“Poe,” the ex-stormtrooper responded with a smug grin and he kept it up, pinching and squeezing all over Poe’s abdomen. And there wasn’t anything Poe could do to stop him if he wanted to remain in the game. 

Maisie didn’t know what was going on down there until Poe started laughing. She and Beaumont paused and both looked down to observe. 

“Excellent thinking, Finn,” Beau grinned and he looked back at Maisie. She realized a split second before it happened and she shook her head. But Beau reached out, battling with her quick-moving hands as he tried to tickle her. Maisie had a big smile on her face but she was trying not to lose too much focus, occasionally either pushing at Beau to get him to fall or even tickling him back. It was a big mess. 

Maisie gave major props to Poe because she knew how ticklish the man was. And besides causing her to sway from his sudden movements every now and then, he did a good job of keeping his shoulders straight with her atop them. She soon felt a scratching at her bare sole under the water and that made her let out a sharp squeal and she wriggled on top of Poe. Damn Finn was tickling her foot with one hand and keeping Poe’s hands at bay with the other. At the same time, Beau made his move and shoved, hard, right at Maisie’s shoulders. She was so distracted that she toppled over and sent Poe underwater with her. 

The crowd was going wild. Beaumont and Finn were flaunting their win with arms raised in the air.

Maisie and Poe popped back up out of the water and they exchanged looks. Maisie shoved Poe’s shoulder, shaking her head and smiling.

Poe looked to the winning team, “And you think _that_ was fair!?”

“You have to use your opponents’ weakness against them,” Finn said, high-fiving Beaumont. 

“Come on, Poe, it was really cute,” Snap teased and started clawing at Poe’s belly. Poe laughed but shooed his hands away, “Knock it off!” 

The next team went up to face Finn and Beaumont and Maisie stood aside to watch. Poe went near to her and said, “You know, it was your fault we lost.”

Maisie narrowed her eyes at Poe.

“I mean, I was doing okay holding it together. But you... yeesh.”

Maisie knew he was teasing but she didn’t want to bite. She ignored him, watching the shoulder wars match that was going on fairly this time. 

“What? Nothing?” Poe grinned, “No push or shove or hit? Come on, I deserve one. Right here,” he pointed to his cheek and pushed his face into Maisie’s. She took a step to the side and shook her head, purposely playing the stubborn part now. She even crossed her arms over her chest. 

“You know, I know your weak spot is your feet now, so I could just use that against you.”

Maisie now eyed Poe and she shook her head, taking another step back. He laughed, “Dohon’t worry, I’m not. Finn fought dirty.”

Maisie relaxed and she nodded her head. Poe took a beat before he said, “I’m really happy you came.”

Maisie looked back at Poe and she nodded in agreement. Poe knew right away when they arrived that she wasn’t 100% on board. He saw her off on her own and then with Finn, and then she disappeared for a while. Poe figured he knew Maisie better than she knew herself. He could tell something was going on in her very busy mind and he wanted to alleviate the stress any way he knew how, with a touch of fun. 

_Why’re you looking at me?_ Maisie asked in her head, seeing how Poe was just staring at her dead on. It made her blush from unease. Poe seemed to register this and he looked away, “We’ll get a rematch later. Our rules this time.”

Maisie smiled at that and that made Poe happy. 

The day waned and yes, they got their rematch. This time, even though Poe insinuated cheating, there was no foul play from either side. They went at it and Maisie and Poe came out victorious. Fair and square. Things looked so up that Maisie even found herself making conversation with some of the other men on the trip. She didn’t sense any lasting friendships, but it was so nice to be social.

Sunset was approaching and the group headed back to the speeders. 

“I’m starving,” CC-1 echoed Maisie when they were back on dry land and she was getting her things together.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Poe said. 

When Poe mounted the speeder and Maisie behind him, she couldn’t help but pinch his belly. It made him giggle and hunch over. Maisie herself chortled. 

“Nohot funny,” he started the speeder and drove off. 

The group made it back to the camp and they all unloaded their speeders and headed off one by one. 

“No hard feelings about the tickling?” Finn came up to Maisie in the lot after parking his speeder. She smiled at him.

“We’re good. Try it again, though, and you’ll regret it,” CC-1 spoke in its usual monotone that was not at all threatening. Finn giggled and he hugged her. Maisie was surprised by this action but she hugged him back. 

“I’ll see you, Maisie,” he waved and went over to Poe to talk to him. Maisie decided she’d see Poe whenever she wanted pretty much, so she wasn’t upset about not getting a goodbye. She went to the kitchens to see if there was anything for her to eat. 

Maisie admitted to herself she had a very fun day. It was nice to get out of the compound and be with nature and other people whom she enjoyed spending time with. Yeah, it had its bumps but what’s life without a few of those? 

When she went back to her tent just as it got dark, she could see Ben again near the same cave as last night. But he was leaving just as she was arriving, so they didn’t cross paths. Curiosity yet again made her walk over there and see what was so special.

Maisie knew the minute she entered. She knew all along. This was where General Organa died. At the time, there was a makeshift cot with a cloth over it. Now it was storage and junk. Maisie knew enough about Kylo Ren to know that he was an evil murderer and a psychopath who was obsessed with all things sith and jedi. But she didn’t know enough about Ben Solo to make any judgments. She stayed a little longer in the cave before leaving and going to bed in her tent. She was wiped after her busy day. 


	3. Chapter 3

Maisie spent the next few days at the compound fixing up ships or working on her droid. As long as CC-1 wasn’t jostled suddenly, she basically fixed its stuttering problem.

“You’re a good droid, aren’t you? Yes you are.”

Baby talk sounded very very strange coming from the droid’s still monotone speaker but it made Maisie giggle.

Waking up late on a rather dreary afternoon, Maisie went right to eat a very late lunch in the food hall. A large bunch of Resistance members had left the previous day for a big mission, leaving her working nonstop the entire day to make sure every mechanical element of the ships were up to snuff. It was much quieter around the compound.

She made her way into the shockingly mostly empty dining hall. And she started loading up her tray with goodies. As Maisie made her way down the line of food displays, she happened to notice Ben was at the end about to take his food with him.

“Hey,” CC-1 announced as it rolled alongside Maisie as she jogged to catch up with Ben who was leaving the dining hall. He stopped and turned around.

“Do you wanna sit together?” Maisie’s droid asked the man. 

Ben seemed taken aback. He didn’t answer immediately, leaving Maisie feeling extra nervous. But Ben nodded and Maisie smiled, walking to an empty bench and table setup, sitting down.

Ben sat opposite her and asked, “Remind me your name again?”

“Maisie.”

“Right,” Ben seemed even more uneasy when they began to eat. His eyes darted around a lot and he barely touched his food. 

“Are you okay?”

“Hm?” Ben was brought back to attention, “Yes. Yeah, I’m fine. I just... I don’t normally eat in here.”

Maisie studied his face as he answered her. She saw the nerves in his eyes and it traveled all the way into his hand he was trying to eat with. It was shaking slightly. She didn’t really respond to him. She couldn’t find what to say in response to that, not exactly the probing, nosy, gossipy type.

She continued to eat and when she finished her lunch, she pulled her notebook out of her jacket and laid it on the table, flipping open to the last used page. Ben had eaten some more of his food by that point, but not even close to all of it. He was finally distracted by something and he looked towards Maisie and her notebook. She had started scribbling down notes in it.

“What’s that?” Ben inquired.

“A book where I plan my thoughts. It all gets jumbled a lot of the time,” Maisie gestured to her head of astonishingly thick and dark curls. 

“What do you do?” Ben asked.

“What do you mean? As a job?” when Ben nodded his yes, CC-1 continued, “I’m a technician. Also an engineer, electrician... and a droid builder. I do a lot with mechanics, basically.”

“You built that?” Ben pointed to the droid on the floor. 

Maisie nodded, smiling softly. She was always proud when she was asked about her work.

“He’s my own design, though I did borrow from D-O and BB units. I named him CC-1. “CC” For “constant communication” and “1″ because he’s the first... Though “constant” is kinda a stretch for this guy...” Maisie patted the droid’s head. Ben found himself smiling very slightly. 

“Impressive,” was what he decided to say. 

Maisie smiled and nodded, resuming jotting down things in her book. As she was writing one thing, her mind was questioning other things. She was so curious about this newly reformed Jedi. Should she ask him what he does in the cave so late at night? Why she never sees him talking with anyone else? Why was he not used to eating in the dining hall?

“Why does he seem so nervous?”

Maisie jumped up and tried to silence her reciting droid but it was too late and she huffed, cheeks turning dark red. That last question she supposed was too much in the forefront of her mind. It wasn’t an exact science, you know, she worked hard to hook it up to her thoughts in the first place. She slowly looked up at Ben, and surely, he was looking back at her, a little surprised.

“You mean me?”

Maisie sighed and the droid spoke, “I’m sorry...”

Ben took a pause before answering, “You’re one of the first people here to... sit with me,” was how he decided to explain it, “Truthfully, I’m only staying here with you because I know Poe and Finn and... mostly everyone is away.”

Maisie frowned a little.

“Are you bullied?”

Ben had to grin, even if it was scornfully, “More like ignored and hated.”

Maisie frowned even more. She’d have to speak to Poe about this. Maisie understood about feeling like an outsider. It’s been that way since... she pushed those old memories away and continued her train of thought from there... She still was largely considered an outsider herself. Because of her difference.

“You know, I always found it kinda funny. How in this place of billions and billions of galaxies and all these different kinds of living beings, there’s still room for prejudice and judgement. I mean, there are species who don’t use words to communicate at all, but because I look like this, I’m expected to be a certain way,” Maisie was looking at Ben, her eyes expressing every bit of feeling they needed to in this moment, “And obviously I’m not entirely acceptable. And I’m ignored, too. Ridiculed. You know, sometimes I think they forget I can hear them,” she smiled somewhat sadly and scratched just under her left eye. Maisie left it at that, not really knowing where she was going. 

And Ben seemed to accept it. The two sat in silence the rest of the time Ben was finishing his food.

A crack of thunder sounded from outside and Maisie looked up.

“Shit,” CC-1 stated just in the same tone as everything else, but Maisie’s eyes were wide and she scrambled to stand up and get her things together.

“Did you know it would rain today? It didn’t look it. I gotta go fix my tent-- yeah okay nevermind. Bye, Ben,” and Maisie rushed out of the dining hall into the pouring afternoon rain. Ben had a feeling that he should follow her.

Maisie made it back to her tent, and since she forgot to put the proper waterproof cover over it, it was soaking wet. She groaned and stamped her foot into the now muddy ground and she started digging through her belongings to save anything important from the rain. Just as she retrieved everything she needed, her toolbox snapped open and spilled all over the ground.

“Fuck.”

As Maisie was kneeling in the mud and pouring rain, she heard, “I can help,” from behind her. And when she looked up, Ben was there.

“Thank you, but it’s ok--aayyy--okay,” she looked at CC-1 and bit her lip. She didn’t account for the weather to affect the damn thing. 

Ben squatted beside Maisie and he lifted his hand up. The tools that were strewn across the ground slowly floated up into the air between him and Maisie. 

Maisie watched with wide eyes. She’d never seen the Force put into action this close to her and it was absolutely amazing.

“Woahhhh...” CC-1 gawked.

“The box?”

“Whhhhhhhhhhhhsss0ihiuuh---” and CC-1′s voicebox completely malfunctioned. Maisie sighed and looked back at Ben and the floating tools.

“The toolbox,” Ben said again.

 _Oh!_ Maisie grabbed the box and opened it up. Ben directed all the objects to float neatly back into the box and Maisie closed the box when everything was back in its place.

“Maybe we should get out of the rain,” Ben said next, speaking loudly over the sound of the harsh rain that had basically cast the entire place into a dusk-like darkness. Maisie nodded and she gathered up her belongings into her arms and followed Ben, the now mute CC-1 trailing behind them. 

They seemed to be heading further away from the base, and Maisie was hoping Ben had an idea of where to go where it was dry. 

They ended up walking into the forests surrounding the base but didn’t go too deep. Inside, there was a very sturdy-looking hut between two very thick trees. Ben pushed the door to it open and went inside. Maisie followed him in, thankful when the rain was no longer pounding on her body. CC-1 sped inside and thunked into the back of Maisie’s foot. She looked down at him, seeing how dirty and muddy the poor thing was. 

“Here,” Ben brought a large blanket over and he draped it over Maisie’s shoulders. She looked up at him and nodded her thanks. She wrapped the blanket tighter around herself, shivering slightly. The technician looked around the place. _Very homey_ , she remarked to herself. There was hardly anything of value inside this hut, save for a place for a fire, a bed, and a cushion she assumed was a chair. 

_Is this where you live?_ she asked, but forgot her droid was out of commission. 

“Sit. Please,” Ben got a small fire going and he gestured to the bed. Maisie took a seat at the edge of it after setting her belongings down on the floor. She rubbed her nose with the back of her hand and then pushed her wet hair from her face. 

Maisie watched Ben take off his outer layer of clothing and hang it up by the entrance to the hut. He then took a far thinner blanket than the one he gave Maisie and threw it around his own shoulders. 

“And I was finally starting to have a good day,” Ben joked.

Maisie smiled at that. Ben sat down on the cushion across from the bed, now facing Maisie. She looked and found it funny just how long his legs were. His knees were touching his chest practically as he sat in that low to the ground cushion. 

“I’m sorry about your tent.”

Maisie waved the comment off with her hand, shaking her head. _I’ve gone through tents before, this is nothing._

“BrrrrreeEEEP!”

Maisie jumped and Ben looked over when CC-1 made that sudden noise. The two humans in the room looked at each other and then Maisie started to giggle. Ben even chuckled a little. Maisie reached down and brought the droid closer to her, seeing that water had seeped in in some unfastened areas. She went to tinkering with the droid best she could, even if she couldn’t get his voice working, she wanted it to be comfortable. She wiped a smudge of dirt off its conical nose before wiping her hands off on her pants. 

Maisie looked up at Ben again. It seemed he was watching her because he quickly turned his head away to stare into the fire. She kept looking at him. _He lives even further out of the way of the base than I do_ , she thought.

“How did you get the-- oh, sorry.”

Maisie looked confused and tilted her head.

Ben felt guilty but he continued his thought, “I wasn’t sure if you’d be able to answer me.”

Maisie smiled softly and she reached into her jacket where her slightly damp notebook was. She flipped to the back of the book where she wrote conversations when CC-1 wasn’t working. She pulled a pen out of her pocket.

_“What were you going to ask?”_

She showed the notebook to Ben and he smiled again, “How did you get the droid to translate for you without you speaking? I don’t quite recognize that technology.”

Maisie wrote in her book, _“That might be too long of a story to tell in writing.”_

Ben nodded, “I understand,” he rubbed his hands together. 

Maisie started to shiver again and she got off the bed and sat down on the floor closer to Ben but also more directly in front of the fire. She stuck her hands out. Ben reached out and pulled something from Maisie’s hair. When she felt the movement, she jerked her head and looked at Ben.

“Sorry. There was a leaf,” he held up the soggy green leaf in his hand. 

Maisie smiled softly at Ben. He was sweet. He didn’t appear that way when she’d seen him alone out by the base. 

They sat there a little more when Maisie had another thought. She tapped Ben’s knee and pointed to her book still on the bed. She raised her hand and wiggled her fingers, grinning. 

Ben understood without any further prompting and he raised his hand, bringing the book over to Maisie’s lap, along with her pen.

“We don’t really use the Force for things like that, you know,” Ben admonished but half-heartedly. 

Maisie smiled, _Well it’s really freaking cool and you should do it all the time._

She added another thought for the design and production of her watch to the notebook. 

Ben was watching Maisie from his perch slightly above her. He saw all her scribblings and scrawlings in the book. Maisie felt eyes on her and she looked up at Ben. She tugged the blanket more around herself.

“You remind me of Rey,” Ben said.

Maisie frowned. She had known Rey only a very short while, meeting her on the base once or twice. She didn’t once judge her, her abilities, or her skills. 

_“How?”_ was what Maisie wrote down and showed to Ben.

Ben read it and took a moment to think. How, indeed? 

“It’s like a feeling. The way you go about things,” how could he say he was drawn to her a fraction of the way he was drawn to Rey? He was missing his dyad. But there was something in Maisie that kept pushing them together, he was sure of it. 

_“Thank you,”_ Maisie wrote and smiled at Ben. It was a big compliment. Rey was a hero. 

There was a clap of thunder from outside and it was so loud, it made Maisie shudder. She scooted closer to the fire. 

“Scared?” Ben asked.

Maisie shook her head but blinding lightning shown through the cracks in the door as well as through the window. Her eyes went wide. Then the thunder followed seconds after the flash. She shook again. 

Ben smiled softly and he moved so he was also now sitting on the floor beside Maisie. 

“You know, my mom used to say that the thunder was just our ancestors driving by in really fast, loud speeders.”

Maisie looked at Ben and she smiled again. Ben smiled back and he chuckled, “Sounds pretty dumb, I know. She probably could’ve come up with something better.”

Maisie wrote down in her book, _“A thousand Wookies speaking at the same time?”_

Ben laughed then. It was deep and melodious. 

Maisie smiled still and she put her book and pen down. She yawned. 

The rain wasn’t letting up. 

“You can stay in here tonight, if you want. It doesn’t look like the rain will stop anytime soon.”

Maisie looked at Ben and she supposed she didn’t give him the answer he immediately wanted because he got more flustered.

“I-I mean, only if you want to. You probably have someone else you’d rather stay with. Which is fine by me. I didn’t mean to impo--” Maisie stopped Ben’s rambling by placing a hand on his knee. She smiled at him. 

Maisie stood up and stretched.

“You can take the bed,” Ben said. Maisie started shaking her head but Ben continued, “Please take it. I won’t be able to sleep if I think you’re uncomfortable.”

Maisie sighed, not wanting to argue. She pulled off her boots by the door and took off her still wet jacket, hanging it up. With that, she laid in the bed and pulled the blanket tight around herself. She watched Ben in the growing darkness as he was putting out the fire. The thunder didn’t scare her this time as she fell asleep to the sounds of the pounding rain. 


	4. Chapter 4

Maisie was having a good amount of bad dreams while she slept, but none awful enough to wake her up. She’d had these dreams many times before; at one point in her life they were nightly. When there was just barely the first light of dawn cascading across the planet, Maisie stirred and she yawned, wondering why her bed felt so comfortable all of a sudden. It was only when she opened her eyes that she remembered she was in Ben’s hut. She didn’t see the man in the hut, only a discarded blanket on the floor.

The technician stretched and tried getting up to go about her day. CC-1 rolled up to her socked feet when she was awake, unable to make noise, but seemingly happy to see her. She pet its head gently.

Then she pulled her boots on and her jacket, which was only slightly damp now after last night. Maisie didn’t know where Ben went and frankly didn’t care to go looking for him. Though she did feel it would be rude to just up and leave the place without saying goodbye. Maisie collected all of her belongings and started to head out. It was a misty morning and the ground was still muddy as anything after last night’s deluge. But everything smelled fresh and wet, which Maisie loved the smell of. She took a leisurely walk back to base, not seeing Ben along the way. But she made it back to her tent location and collected the ruined bits, taking those with her to the main storage and supplies building on site.

Maisie spent that day rebuilding her new tent with new equipment from the supplies building and then she spent it repairing CC-1 yet again.

“My whole life seems to be revolved around fixing you.”  
“Sorry.”

Maisie grinned at the droid.

“What do you think of just making you into a full D-O unit? I feel like there is too much space in your BB body… though where would I put all your wiring…” Maisie rested a hand on her chin, analyzing the droid with her eyes. Hmm. This would be tricky.

And so, life and time went on. After a full week and a half, Maisie and a lot of the rest of the crew still at the base started to worry about the Resistance members far away off on their mission. They’d only heard a few updates, and the last one they’d gotten was received three days ago. They had responders ready to receive messages 24/7, so it wasn’t possible to have their side miss a message.

Ben had thought it better not to directly approach Maisie anymore after the night she spent in his hut. She hadn’t said goodbye or even left him a note. So he assumed that meant they weren’t going to be close after all, which was disappointing. Lately, he’d been receiving some exceptionally nasty looks from crew at the base whenever he’d walk through or go to get food. He heard the whispers. They all assumed if anything went wrong on their mission, it was his fault. His fault because he’d been going behind their backs for the First Order this entire time. He’d been backstabbing them and tipping off remaining First Order. He can’t be trusted. Not much got to Ben, especially in his darker past. But trying to prove himself a better person again and again to every single person was becoming exhausting. That was mostly why he just stayed out of the way. He knew all of the Resistance wished Rey had made it back and not him. Sometimes he wished the same.

Finally, a ship was visible flying through the planet’s atmosphere. The whole base came out after one member shouted that it was spotted. Maisie ran out of the hangar where she was currently working on a ship. She smiled wide, happy to know they were finally home. She went off with the other technicians and engineers, readying their supplies for ship fixups in case they were coming in hot and damaged (which they usually were), and the medical professionals also went off to get med bays ready for rescue and rehab.

It was quickly made clear to everyone on the base that things were bad. When the fleet of 15 had left nearly two weeks ago, they were not expecting a mere 4 ships to make it back. Maisie’s heart sunk when the realization hit her. She was just praying Poe was on one of these remaining ships.

Ben was watching from the outskirts. He was never invited to exactly participate in anything related to the recovery team after missions were complete. He didn’t think he was welcome. But he was observant. And when he saw the ships coming in fast, and with such a drastic reduction in numbers, he ran to the main landing strip to help in any way he could. Each ship could’ve been carrying bodies, injured or dead.

The first ship landed, and everyone swarmed it, waiting with bated breath to see who would come out when the door opened. It opened and out came four Resistance: two injured and two shaken but seemingly okay. None of them were Poe. Maisie felt her heart pounding almost in her ears. The next ship came, and the next. She saw Snap get out of his plane, then Beaumont. _No Poe, no Poe._

There was one last ship. And this one was on fire. Maisie had hope. If any ship was to come in on fire and still be able to land, it was Poe’s ship. Ben had helped escort officers and pilots and others off to the med bay when everyone else was too occupied. It seemed the injured didn’t care about who was helping them while in their current conditions. On the way back to pick up crew from the final ship, he saw Maisie already by the ship. Finn came out first, and that made Ben stop progressing towards them.

Maisie gasped and ran forward when she saw Finn exiting the ship with his back facing everyone and he and Chewbacca were carrying someone who was limp… _Poe!_

_No no no no no…_

She ran up beside them, eyes frantic. Where was her damn droid!? _Is he okay? Is he alive? What can I do?_

She followed alongside Finn and Chewbacca taking him through the crowd. Finn was shouting, “Help! Please get out of the way— yes, take him! Please. Please help him…”

Medics came and ushered Poe away on a stretcher. Finn looked beaten up, as did Chewie.

“Maisie,” Finn said through deep breaths when he saw her walking right up to him. He could read the fear in her face and said, “He should be okay, he just got beaten up real bad…”

Finn had a visible gash on his head and Maisie reached up to it. Finn nodded, “I’ll be okay. It’s a miracle we made it out of there alive…” Chewbacca sounded his agreement of that statement, already moving off to help. When Finn made to also go help the rest of the crew, Maisie took his arm and motioned for him to head to med bay.

“Like I said, I’ll be fine.”

Maisie shook her head, seeing him also clutching his left elbow. Tears started to form in her eyes and she couldn’t help it. This was far from her first rodeo, not even her first where dear friends were in danger… but it still affected her greatly.

Finn could read it in her eyes. The ‘I don’t want to lose anyone’ desperation and how she was holding onto his arm. Finn nodded, “You take care of everything and everyone out here, okay?” he told Maisie before going to get himself taken care of. Maisie felt some relief there. She ran to the first ship again, which had started to short circuit and was possibly ready to blow. They could prevent it and they couldn’t risk losing another ship.

Ben watched as they took away Poe. Not too long after, he saw Finn coming down. Finn had stumbled and fallen hard onto his knees. In all the chaos, no one had stopped to help him. Ben didn’t even think twice before running up and helping Finn stand.

Finn accepted the help and when he saw Ben, his face hardened.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Ben joked before he threw Finn’s arm over his shoulder to walk him to the med bay. Finn didn’t protest.

Ben got another medical personnel to take Finn and get his injuries treated.

Maisie had been the one to successfully save the almost-sure-to-blow-up ship just in time. And she continued to offer her help wherever she was needed. After hours of constant working and fixing and teamwork, all the ships were salvaged and taken to the hangar to get their remaining work done. The rescue and quick acting teams hugged and sat on the ground together from exhaustion. This wasn’t like when they won any battles. There wasn’t any hugging out of celebration or kissing or laughing and heavy chatter. This was a relief. A somber moment because they knew they suffered a big loss.

Maisie was beyond tired but she sucked it up to head straight for the med bay.

“Maisie,” Ben saw her again, just as sunset was beginning and he walked up to her. But he didn’t get a response or a reaction. She was on her own mission and kept at a steady clip walking to the med bay, seemingly ignoring anything around her. Ben watched her go.

When she got in, she tried to communicate who she was looking for without her droid nearby. Hell, when all of this started, her droid was with her in the hangar. She hadn’t seen it since then. It could be lost or totally destroyed by now and she wouldn’t know. After finally finding a doctor who was willing to be patient with her and have her write who she was looking for, the doctor pointed her in the direction of the severe injuries unit. Maisie swallowed hard, pushing back more nervous tears. She rushed her way to the right room and she saw Poe on a bed, all kinds of medical technology and equipment hooked up to him. And Finn was sitting there, arm in a sling and bandage on his forehead. He looked up when he saw Maisie.

“He’s okay. The doctor said he’s going to be unresponsive for a while. But he’ll make it.”

Maisie nearly collapsed when she got to the room. Just to see Poe like that… it hurt her in a way that she hasn’t felt in a long time. She stepped forward and made it to the edge of the bed, looking over him. He had a techno bubble surrounding him, monitoring heart rate and other vitals.

Maisie then looked at Finn and was glad to see him bandaged up. Finn went closer to Maisie and gave her a hug with his one usable arm. She hugged him back without hesitation.

_Glad you’re okay._

“I’ll give you some time with him,” Finn said before making his way out of the room.

Maisie took a deep breath and sunk into the chair beside the bed. It felt so good to sit down. But she took another look at Poe and nearly broke down mentally. She’d seen him hurt before. A broken rib, cracked skull, the works. But seeing him unresponsive was new to her. Even during the war, he was never incapacitated this badly. And she wanted to know what exactly happened to them.

 _You stupid idiot…_ she thought, reaching her hand up and carefully holding Poe’s, _You stupid fucking idiot…_

Maisie wiped some tears with the back of her hand, which she realized was covered in gook and oil and other ship debris and fluids.

 _You better make it through this or… or I’m gonna kill you…_ she sniffled some more.

Maisie spent at least an hour with Poe, hearing the sounds of other medical personnel running around or beeping and hissing from medical equipment being used by Poe or other nearby survivors. When she realized she was starting to doze off, she stood up and took one last look at Poe before leaving. Her eyes and nose were red and puffy. She was still covered in muck. She probably looked worse than like shit.

Maisie went to wash herself off from all the grime. On the way, she saw something speeding towards her out of the corner of her eye. She turned and smiled.

 _Hey!_  
“Hey,” CC-1 echoed her overenthusiastic cry of greeting with its usual robotic monotone. Maisie got down on her knees and hugged the droid.

“It’s so good to see you.”

Maisie held the droid’s conical head and she chuckled out of relief. She couldn’t have handled any more bad news. CC-1 followed her to the showers and she washed herself free of all the gook. It was very late at night by the time she finished washing and made her way back to her tent in only a robe from the washroom. She decided to chuck those clothes, what with them stained with irreparable oils and ickiness as well as having rips and tears and holes everywhere. Maisie felt so mentally and physically drained, she wasn’t even sure how she made it to her tent. But she did.

Right when she was going to crawl inside and finally get some sleep, she heard footsteps in the grass behind her and she turned around.

“Maisie,” Ben was there.

Maisie sighed, not having seen him around since the night in his hut. He also looked like he’d been around the recovery. But she just lacked the energy to talk.

Ben didn’t know what he expected. For her to run into his arms? Her droid to start retelling everything she saw? But nothing happened. She just bit her lip and shook her head, crawling into her tent and closing up the entrance.

Ben swallowed and his eyes flitted around. Well then… okay. Did she now think he was part of this decimation of the Resistance fleet? What had she heard? He turned around abruptly and took large strides towards his hut.

A new day needed to come and bring sense and order back to everything the Resistance knows. 


	5. Chapter 5

Maisie was surprised by how long she slept considering everything that happened the day before. Actually, maybe it made more sense because she was so drained. But it was quiet at the Resistance base; quieter than she’d heard it in a long time, especially with most everyone present. The generals were hosting a briefing to update everyone on what exactly happened during the last mission that brought about their major losses. So, Maisie pulled herself up and got dressed, going to the briefing. There was already a crowd gathered to listen to their leaders.

Maisie pushed her way a little bit closer to the front because she wanted to be sure she heard every word out of their mouths. She wanted to know why Poe was currently unresponsive in med bay and who was responsible.

Finn and Cypress were up in front, ready to begin when they knew most everyone was present.

“Welcome, everyone,” Finn began and any murmuring was silenced immediately, “We have suffered an immeasurable loss. Not since the war against the First Order have we felt this much loss. Today, General Cypress and I are going to go through who we lost, who is injured. We need to fortify our numbers. Then General Cypress will go through why we found the mission was less than successful. Further updates will follow.”

When Finn started listing off the names of those who lost their lives, Maisie was extremely saddened to hear that three of the names were men she met on the trip to the lake with Poe. Trach was one of them. They lost 21 Resistance members. Then he went through the list of injuries. 

Finn and General Cypress continued to speak together, sharing evidence about the mission. Finn went into more detail because he was there. They had received the incorrect intel about the First Order stragglers. What they once assumed was only a small fleet of maybe 15 members and 10 ships turned out to be triple that. They were ambushed. There was no way they could’ve survived if it wasn’t for the fact that Poe made them all fall back. 

Once all the information was given out, a few Resistance had questions about how to move forward. 

“Yeah, and that’s where we’ve decided to gather opinions from all of you,” Finn continued, sounding a bit more unsure during this part of the briefing, “We’ve presented all the new information we’ve gathered. Now, since we’re short on crew, I feel apprehensive about going in with another strike team. There’s also been the added factor of secrecy within these First Order supporters. We don’t know much about the individual members. We really don’t even know exactly how many there are in this one sector.”

“I suggested that we lead a secretive undercover takedown mission. Get on the inside and destroy them like that,” Cypress included his thought.

Finn nodded, “You did mention that, General. But I just don’t think it’s plausible with the kinds of crew we have here.”

“I have a suggestion,” CC-1 spoke up from Maisie's place in the crowd, causing heads to turn.

“Yes, Colonel Roanes?” Finn addressed Maisie.

She paused and cleared her throat with uncertainty now that all eyes and ears were on her. She looked down at her CC-1 unit, who said, “We do have an ex-First Order leader in our midst. If you want to go undercover, why not use him?”

Murmuring erupted immediately at the suggestion. Finn looked less than pleased. Maisie felt her cheeks heating up, already sensing she said something she really shouldn’t have. 

“Let’s say he wants to participate,” General Cypress quelled the noise, "In order to successfully pursue a true stealth mission, you cannot have many people. Three maximum, I’d say. Who would you enlist to keep watch over him?”

“How come you trust him?” Finn butt in to ask.

Maisie fell under pressure now, “I… I can’t explain it but I do trust him. And if we can use him to our advantage in this one mission, think what we can use him for in all of our future missions. He’ll be like our lucky charm.”

Cypress grabbed Finn’s bicep and he turned their heads so they could discuss. 

“We don’t even know if he’ll agree to work for us,” Finn stated, which Maisie quickly countered.

“I can talk to him about it. He’ll do it.”

There were more whispers that followed. Finn looked at Cypress and then back out at everyone. He was having a clearly hard time deliberating.

“Who wants to volunteer to be accompanying him on this mission?” he asked, genuinely. Finn looked around the crowd to see any volunteers. 

Maisie saw that no one was volunteering. She took a deep breath before raising her hand into the air. Finn saw the hand and he ran a hand across his scalp.

“Alright. You get back to me with his answer and then we can discuss a gameplan. Thank you, everyone.”

And Resistance members dispersed. Maisie didn’t know what she just got herself into. Part of her was excited to go on another mission. She was about to leave to go find Ben when Finn called her name. She turned around.

“What exactly do you think you’re doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“What gave you the idea that working with Kylo Ren would be a good idea and help the Resistance?”

“He isn’t Kylo Ren anymore,” Maisie bravely corrected Finn, “He wants to help. This whole time he’s wanted to redeem himself and be a part of the Resistance. But every time he gets near the place, he is shunned! And I understand it, I really do. Finn,” she grabbed Finn’s hands and held them, “I understand why,” she looked right in his eyes, “But I strongly believe that people can change.”

Finn gritted his teeth together. Talking about Kylo Ren or anything to do with Rey’s death really got to him. It wasn’t easy to let go. 

“Then speak to him. We don’t even know if he’ll agree yet.”

“He will,” Maisie smiled reassuringly at Finn, “You better start strategizing, General,” and she gave his hands one last squeeze before she headed off to Ben’s hut.

“Ben?” CC-1’s robotic drone sounded when she reached the hut in the woods. Maisie knocked on the door, but received no answer. She then decided to walk around the forest vicinity some more, seeing if she could find him. 

After some walking through giant leaves and foliage, find him she did. Maisie peaked out from behind a tree trunk and she saw Ben floating midair, twigs and logs and rocks floating all around him. Very cool. He seemed in deep meditation.

Maisie waited a few extra seconds before plucking up the courage to approach, “Ben?”

The debris fell to the ground and Ben turned to look at Maisie. He lowered himself to the ground, as well. 

“Hello,” he said to her.

“Hi,” she didn’t expect this conversation to begin so awkwardly. 

Ben still hadn’t forgotten how she ignored him last night. He still assumed it was because she heard some rumor about him and believed it. 

“I came to offer something to you,” Maisie started.

“Offer something?”

“We are planning a stealth mission against the First Order who destroyed our fleet. They want you to lead the mission.”

Ben huffed and he chuckled derisively, “They _want_ me? Nobody wants me to help with anything.”

“They do. They figured you were the best person that could possibly carry out a mission like this. Get close to the leaders and we take them out from the inside, steal their information.”

“Sounds like a trick,” Ben started walking past Maisie to head back to his hut. Maisie frowned. 

“Why are you being so stubborn?” the thought she had that wasn’t meant to be spoken aloud was blurted out by CC-1. Ben stopped and he turned around again. 

“To me, this sounds like they want to ship me off into the corners of space to get murdered by old followers of the First Order. Doesn’t it sound like that? Plus, doesn’t the entire galaxy think I’m dead? Wouldn’t it ruin the illusion if I suddenly show up?”

Maisie didn’t know if she should fess up yet that it was her idea in the first place, not “theirs.”

“Those supporting the dark side have always been superstitious, from my memory. They’ll think you’re a ghost.”

Maisie’s somewhat lighthearted response didn’t seem to do much for Ben. She frowned again.

“Ben, I want to do this for Poe,” she admitted. 

Ben took a pause, thinking. He could see her love for Poe, it was clear as day. She needed retribution for what these animals did to him. 

“I’d be going with you,” Maisie added, “Wouldn't that be like a perk?”

Ben had to grin. He looked up at the sky and the canopy of trees surrounding them. Then he said, “I’ll do it.”

Maisie smiled wide and she ran up to him, about to hug him, but she didn’t exactly know if they were there yet… so she just squeezed his arms, “Thank you. They’re going to want to start planning as soon as possible. So come join us when you’re ready to.”

Maisie headed off to go share the hopefully good news with the Generals and other higher-ups. Maisie informed Finn first and he seemed a mix of apprehensive but also somewhat relieved. Relief because maybe this was a way to really get a leg up on the scattered First Order. She hung around through the discussions that ensued over planning how the mission would take place. 

“… and if you can then obtain access to their communications log, you can send—“ Finn paused mid-sentence and looked up. Maisie turned around and saw Ben standing by the entrance. He walked inside. 

“Sorry I’m late,” he said and stood beside Maisie. The air in the room definitely got more uncomfortable. 

“Better late than never,” was Maisie’s choice phrasing. It didn’t exactly break the ice like she wanted it to.

“Like I was saying,” and Finn finished his thought. The afternoon soon turned into evening, and most of the plan was settled. Maisie and Ben would be able to leave in the next day or two. Ben headed out first when they had finished, not wanting to interact with Finn, having seen the nasty looks he was giving him the entire time. Maisie watched him go. 

“I hope you’re right about this,” Finn said to Maisie. 

“I hope so, too. Is there anything else you need me for?”

“No, I don’t think so. Just make sure you have everything you need.”

Maisie nodded and saluted Finn, “Of course. Bye, Finn,” she turned and left with her droid. 

Maisie, instead of heading to her tent to gather clothes and other personal items for the trip or going to the hangar to prepare their ship, she went to the med bay. 

Maisie went to Poe’s room and he was still strapped up to every apparatus the medics probably had. 

“Hey,” CC-1 said aloud.   
“Well, this is it. I made it. Finally going on a mission without you,” Maisie smiled to herself.   
“I’m going to make sure we destroy every single First Order scumbag who did this to you.”

The threat coming from CC-1 didn’t sound as meaningful as she intended it to be. Oh well.

“And don’t get mad,” she continued, “But I’m going with Ben. I know, I know. You ‘don’t trust the guy.’ But I kind of do. I don’t think he’d betray us and he’s nice to me. So that’s why I’m going with him. To make sure of those things.”  
She sat in silence for a few minutes, watching Poe’s breathing and heartbeat on the monitor.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone for. But you better wake up when I come back,” she smiled again, wiping away a single tear. Maisie stood and collected herself before leaning over and pressing a kiss to Poe’s forehead. Then she left and went about her business for the night in her tent, gathering some intel to study beforehand. She liked being prepared. 

Late at night, while she sat in her tent reading over the information about the First Order members they’d be infiltrating, she heard footsteps outside her tent. She looked up when a shadow was cast over the entrance. She had turned off CC-1 for the night, letting him rest. 

“Maisie?” she heard Ben’s voice and she opened her entrance, looking up at him. 

“I had a few questions.”

Maisie beckoned for Ben to come inside her tent. She didn’t feel like putting on pants and boots and a jacket to stand outside with him. Ben knelt down and crawled inside. He sat somewhat awkwardly to make sure he’d fit; truth be told, this tent was much larger than he thought based on the outside. 

“Do you have combat training?” Ben asked. 

Maisie nodded. _Well… some._

The technician moved to turn on her droid to do the translating during the conversation, but Ben stopped her, “No, it’s okay. You don’t have to.”

Maisie mimed shooting a blaster, hopefully conveying that’s usually what she’s good at in terms of combat. Ben nodded. He then asked her, “Who chose you to come with me?”

Maisie blushed and truthfully responded by raising her hand. Ben sat and he looked down at her small cot on the floor and then said, “Why?”

Maisie shrugged. She couldn’t give a good answer without her droid. 

“I have a feeling there’s something you’re not telling me,” Ben said. Maisie looked at him and she knew he was being serious but she just found it funny. _Of course I’m not telling you anything. I can’t_. She giggled. Ben didn’t see what was so funny at first but soon smiled. 

“Right. I ask because… well, if I were you, I wouldn’t immediately trust me. But you do. And I thank you for that. Just know that I can tell you don’t have all the best combat training, so during our trip, I’ll be teaching you myself. If you want.”

Maisie nodded immediately. She’d always wanted to be a better fighter. She was involved with violence and war for most of her life, so she always thought she should be better at protecting herself. 

“Thank you, Maisie,” Ben said and moved to exit her tent. She waved. When he left, she zipped herself back into the tent and laid down in her cot, ready to go to sleep. Strange. _He could’ve just told me all of that tomorrow._


	6. Chapter 6

Maisie was tossing and turning in her sleep. Flashes of old, bad memories polluted her mind in visions and dreams. She couldn’t tell the difference. But it was scaring her, making her sweat and moan in her sleep. An explosion, a scream, debris everywhere, fire, crying. Then there was a complete shift and she was staring at Ben Solo across a battlefield, it looked like. He was fighting everything around him with his saber. A stormtrooper ran up behind him, caught him unaware, and stabbed him through the chest with a long blade.

_“BEN!”_

Maisie shot awake, gasping for air and then panting hard. She was covered in sweat, chest heaving.  
Ben shot up in bed, swearing he heard his name being called. Was it a dream? If it was, the one calling his name was a voice he didn’t recognize.

Maisie’s eyes were wide and panicked. She tried to calm her breathing but she just worked herself up into crying. She stuck her head into her knees and sobbed. She hadn’t had this many bad dreams in a very long time. Something bad was going to happen.

Maisie couldn’t get to sleep the rest of the night and she woke up very cranky and groggy. CC-1 was waking up slowly that morning and it still wasn’t fully operational by the time she got dressed. Maisie decided to leave her droid behind while she went and got breakfast. A good amount of Resistance was present. And something that she rarely got unless she was having a conversation with her droid were stares. Most people ignored her. But not today. Today, all eyes were on her as she collected fruit and sweet bread for her breakfast, also grabbing herself a hot tea.

_Man, does no one have anything else to do?_

Maisie took her food and sat down by herself, angrily eating.

“Hey, Mais,” Rose sat down across from her. Maisie would really have preferred being alone right now, but she couldn’t protest.

“You feeling okay today?” Rose asked her.

Maisie shook her head, answering honestly.

“Because of… the mission?”

Maisie shrugged. 

“If it means anything to you, I understand why you’re doing this. We all love Poe.”

_You don’t love him like I do_ , Maisie said in her head. 

“I support you.”

Maisie noted how she didn’t support anything Ben was doing on this mission. She sighed aloud, unable to help herself. This whole thing might have just been one big huge mistake. Or, on the plus side, if everything went well, she pictured all of the Resistance welcoming Ben back with open arms. Hm. It could work. 

Maisie forgot to respond to Rose so she just nodded. Rose left it at that and took her breakfast away, squeezing Maisie’s shoulder before going and sitting elsewhere. 

Maisie had to snap herself out of her funk if she was going to get through today. She finished her food and went off to the hangar to find the selected ship they’d be using during the mission. She picked up CC-1 first. She saw workers still fixing up the ships from the last mission. They made sure to keep a select few First Order vessels for any other purposes. And they agreed that showing up in a TIE shuttle probably would be the best option. She waved hello to other technicians as she made her way to the First Order storage unit. On her way, she looked out of the corner of her eye and saw Ben, also inspecting different ships. She adjusted direction and made it to him.

“What’re you doing here?” CC-1 asked.

Ben looked over and he smiled, “Hey. I’m trying to get our ship ready.”

“Yeah, well, it won’t be over here. The First Order ones are back there,” Maisie pointed.

Ben answered, “Oh right. Well, we’re not using First Order ships.”

“Excuse me?”

Ben smiled again. This attitude very much reminded her of Poe. Not fully, but there was a budding smugness that she wasn’t overly fond of. He started walking away and Maisie supposed she had to follow him.

“Hello? We made the plans yesterday, we’re taking the TIE shuttle.”

Ben kept walking to areas where they kept the older ships.

“Yeah, well, I was thinking we could use something else.”

Ben stopped walking and pointed to the Millennium Falcon which was just around the corner.

“No,” CC-1 said immediately. 

Ben chuckled, “Maisie! I think it’ll be perfect.”

“It’s been through a lot and it’s old as hell, not to mention extremely recognizable.”

“So? You were the one who said sith believed in superstitions. Why not make the return of Kylo Ren a full myth? Gotta make an impression and play the part. Kylo Ren returns in his father’s ship.”

Maisie’s jaw was hanging open. If this was Ben in a very good mood, she wasn’t sure if she liked it. 

“Why are you not on board?”

“B-Because…” Maisie didn’t even think straight anymore, “I don’t feel comfortable riding that junk into enemy territory. And again, we already made a plan,” she would’ve sounded more insistent if her droid wasn’t translating, “Plus, you have to get permission.”

“It’ll be fine.”

Maisie sighed and she rubbed her hands over her face.

“I didn’t expect to be this stressed out this early in the morning.”

Ben smiled at her, “I’ll start getting it ready.”

“Permission?” Maisie reminded him.

“Hm? Yes, I, um, I was hoping you’d put in the request…”

Maisie glared at him. Ben softened his uncharacteristic jumpy nature that he was sporting currently and he sighed, walking up closer to Maisie, “I have a feeling about this. About using the Millennium Falcon. You said you trusted me and you didn’t know why. Maybe this was one of the reasons?”

Maisie rolled her eyes and nodded, “Okay,” CC-1 droned, “Okay, I’ll ask.”

“Thank you.”

Maisie turned to go find Finn, or any of the leaders, really. They wouldn’t be overly happy about this. 

By the time Maisie talked them into switching this one part of the plan, Finn walked with Maisie to give the official order to release the Falcon and get it ready. But there was the definitive sound of Wookie arguing and what Maisie knew was Ben Solo’s voice arguing right back.

“Oh boy,” Finn heard it too and he sped up to a jog with Maisie beside him. 

“Hey! Hey hey! Chewie! What’s going on here!?” Finn yelled and pushed the Wookie away from Ben. 

When Chewbacca started roaring again, Ben scoffed, “Is that what you think of me? No please! By all means! Go ahead and tell him why,” he gestured to Finn. 

When Chewie explained himself, Finn pulled him aside, “I know, Chewie. You gotta let this one go, though. We’re doing this for the greater good…”

And that’s when Maisie stopped eavesdropping. She looked over at Ben pacing to cool himself down. She couldn’t help but grin. He looked so silly doing that. Like he was throwing a tantrum. 

“Maisie,” Finn called her over. Maisie went and Finn explained the caveat Chewbacca was having about giving up the Falcon for this mission. He also didn’t trust Ben, despite having watched him grow up in his early years. Maisie understood why. It was Kylo Ren who murdered Han Solo. Chewbacca had a hard time even considering forgiving that crime.

“So, he wants to go with you two… to make sure the Millennium Falcon is fine,” Finn explained. 

Maisie looked at the hulking Wookie and she nodded, “But would a Wookie draw more attention to us? Han Solo’s partner?”

“Chewie is going to stay out of the way. He’s good at that. He’ll just be there for the journey to make sure everything flight-wise goes smoothly. You don’t really fly anyway, do you?” Finn asked Maisie.

She shook her head, “I can keep a ship cruising. I’m no pilot.”

“So this’ll work out.”

Chewbacca made his way back over to Ben and seemingly explained how things were going to go down. Ben had simmered down and he agreed. 

“Good luck with those two,” Finn said to Maisie under his breath. Maisie smiled wide. She didn’t know why this interaction made her feel good, but it did. Maybe it was the growing excitement that she’d be going on a mission with the great Chewbacca and Han Solo’s son. She felt like she was part of the team. So, she got to work with other engineers and technicians to make sure the Millennium Falcon was up and ready to go when they needed it for their departure that night.

They loaded the last of the supplies they’d need in case of emergencies. 

Only a select few crew members were present when Maisie, Ben, and Chewbacca were ready to take off. Maisie hugged Rose goodbye and thanked other crew for working so hard to get this mission up and going. 

“We’ll have constant communication between us and you. So, whatever you need, any updates, let us know,” Finn was laying it down for Maisie. He glanced up to look at Ben waiting by the ramp of the Millennium Falcon. Finn lowered his voice, “Take care of yourself. I’d like it if you made it back. And Chewie, if you can.”

Maisie grinned and she shook her head, “Rude. But I’ll take it. Will you let me know when Poe wakes up?”

Finn nodded, “Of course I will. Have a safe trip,” he leaned in and hugged Maisie, which she wasn’t expecting. Though she had observed and heard that Finn was a big hugger.

“You stay safe,” Maisie’s droid said when she let go of the hug and made her way onto the Millennium Falcon. She’d worked on fixing this ship more than once, so she knew its ins and outs pretty well. Ben and Chewbacca were in the cockpit already when she made it on. Her heart always got fluttery and her stomach tightened whenever she’d go on a new mission. It was nerves but also excitement. 

“Ready?” Ben asked. Chewbacca responded in the affirmative and Maisie strapped herself into the chair behind Chewie. She nodded, smiling. That made Ben smile back and he started gearing the Falcon up for takeoff. 

“I know how to do that!” Ben was already starting to bicker with Chewie. Oh boy. This might be a loooong trip. 

And they took off, breaking through the atmosphere of the Ajan Kloss moon. Maisie always loved looking at the stars when they were taking off, seeing them expand and come into full view due to the speed of their ship. But because they left at night and they were working all day, Maisie was very sleepy. She stood up from her seat.

“Goodnight,” CC-1 said and she made her way to the small cubbies towards the back of the ship. 

“Night,” Ben said in return but his mind was focused on controlling the ship and inputting coordinates so she was out of the room by the time he said it. He saw Chewie looking at him.

“What?”

The Wookie shrugged and continued his copiloting duties. 

As Maisie got comfortable for bed, she was doing some calculations on their mission. They were heading to the Outer Rim so it would probably take them a little over a day’s worth of traveling to arrive. She heard the noises Chewie was making in protest of something Ben was doing and she smiled to herself as she pulled the thin blanket in the sleep cubby up to her neck. She shut her eyes to the sounds of the ship’s mechanics clinking and hissing and to the distant voices of a Solo arguing with a Wookie.


	7. Chapter 7

Maisie only got a few hours of sleep in before she felt herself being wide awake. She stretched and didn’t take into account her surroundings too well because she thunked her head on the top of the cubby. 

“Fuck,” CC-1 down on the floor voiced her pain. She sighed and got out of the bed, slipping her shoes back on. Maisie made her way back to the cockpit, not seeing Chewbacca there. Ben yawned just as she approached.

“You need someone to take over?” the sudden voice of CC-1 surprised Ben and he jumped. 

“Hey. And no, I’m doing great,” he rubbed his eyes. 

Maisie smiled softly and she took a seat in the copilot’s chair, staring into the space that was all around them, whooshing past. 

“Did you rest well?” Ben asked.

Maisie nodded.

There was a silence as Maisie was still in a state where she was in the process of waking up. She yawned and that made Ben yawn again. She smiled and asked, “Where did Chewbacca go?”

“Oh he… he went to do some maintenance.”

Maisie raised an eyebrow, which Ben saw. 

“I told him to get his furry butt out of the cockpit,” Ben admitted in a much softer tone of voice, sounding ashamed. Maisie burst out giggling. Ben looked at her now, surprised to hear that response, but he welcomed it. 

“You should apologize. He’s only trying to help.”

“No, he’s only trying to take care of the ship—“

“And that’s how he helps.”

Ben couldn’t find a way to argue with that, so he didn’t.

It was Maisie who then asked, “So, how are we going to get you into the First Order supporters’ base?”

“I don’t really know. If I just act a little broody I think I’ll do fine.”

“I think we need to make you a mask. We have some scrap metal back there, I’m sure we could come up with something,” Maisie added with a smile.

Ben chuckled, “Oho yeah. I’m sure discolored rusted metal is the most intimidating material for a First Order Supreme Leader’s helmet. No mask.”

Maisie laughed again. 

“I think the real question is how are we getting you into the place with me?”

Maisie thought about it. They hadn’t really discussed specifics of how they would infiltrate the dark side supporters. There was loose talk of offering them a trade deal/something they wanted. 

“What if I work for you?” Ben suggested.

“That makes no sens—“

“Yes! It does! Wait wait and I’m your translator, which is why I’m there at all.”

“But they don’t know who I am, they know who you are.”

“Not many of them have seen my face. They’ve probably only heard the stories.”

“Ben—“

“Maisie.”

He was being snarky again and Maisie didn’t care for it, “The only reason you’re here is because you know about First Order goings-on.”

“Actually, the only reason I’m here is because of you.”

“What does that mean?”

“You offered my name up as bait,” Ben became serious, “It was all about using me, wasn’t it? I hear more than you know, Colonel Roanes.”

Maisie scowled, “It…” CC-1 didn’t have the full input yet as Maisie chose her words carefully, “It wasn’t like that. I suggested you go on this mission in order to get you into the Resistance team. You sorely need some people on your side.”

“So it was out of pity.”

“Ben—“

“Just admit it was. You genuinely don’t trust me. None of them do either which is why they attached you and Chewie to me to babysit.”

“You really might have needed babysitting because you’re acting like a child.”

“Am I?”

“Yes, you are,” Maisie leaned forward in her seat, brow furrowed, obviously angry. She wished her droid could yell. She wished it so bad. Maybe that would be the next upgrade. She huffed and stormed out of the cockpit. 

On the way, she bumped into Chewbacca and she couldn’t resist the urge to say, “I know exactly why you can’t deal with him,” and she went off to another part of the ship. Chewbacca seemed pleased with that statement before he headed back to continue his copiloting duties.

“Stupid spoiled… dumb… jerk…”

Maisie had plopped herself down in a seat in another part of the Millennium Falcon. 

“I try to help him out. I’m the only one who talks to him, who gives him the time of day, and now he’s accusing me of not giving a shit about him. I totally give a shit. In fact, I give more than a shit….” Maisie just kept her droid grumbling about her annoyance with their current team leader, “Wish I could fly a ship. Then I’d really show him who’s in charge…”

Maisie fluffed up her hair with her hands, massaging her scalp. She just needed to relax. This wouldn’t help any part of the mission. She had a job to do and she couldn’t let this dumb fight get in the way of avenging all those lives lost. Of avenging Poe… 

She wondered what he would do on this mission. If it was the same exact one, except swap Ben for Poe. She honestly would probably still be bickering with him, though it would be over something stupid like the temperature in the cockpit. He’d be making her smile and laugh a lot… which Ben already technically did… She’d be totally still fawning over the man and his perfect hair and stubble… Maisie looked ahead of her at the wall opposite her. She leaned back in her seat, reconsidering everything she just ran through in her mind.

“Am I— Do I have…. Am I crushing on Ben?” she asked no one, and honestly didn’t even care that her droid repeated that question. She looked at CC-1.

Maisie laughed to herself out of disbelief and she buried her face into her hands, smoothing them over her face, “No. No, I’m just too lonely… that’s what it is. Stupid lonely me.”

Maisie had tried to clear her mind and she started feeling a strange tingling in her left forearm and hand, all the way up to the tips of her fingers. She flexed her hand open and close, over and over again to try to alleviate the feeling. She figured maybe it was just some reaction from maybe sleeping on her arm strangely. She tried to ignore it and she was looking at a metal wrench sitting on the floor across from her. She flexed her fingers one more time and the wrench shot up into the air. Maisie gasped. It hit the ceiling and landed back on the floor again.

“Oh my god…”

Maisie was still feeling the tingles. She stretched her fingers and wiggled them, but nothing happened. She leaned forward focusing her entire being on that wrench again. Maisie outstretched her fingers, and the wrench came floating upward, almost to eye level with her. Her mouth was agape. 

“What’re you do—woah!” 

Maisie let out a surprised yelp and spun around so fast she accidentally flung the wrench at Ben’s head, which he ducked out of the way of. She covered both hands over her mouth in shock.

“Sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Are you really that mad at me?” Ben asked, somewhat jokingly. Maisie looked down at her hand and she realized the tingles had gone away. She flexed her fingers anyway. 

“I’m not mad at you,” CC-1 said and Maisie looked up at Ben.

“I was acting stupid. I really usually never act that, um…”

“Difficult?” Maisie finished for him. 

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t really tell you I was the one who suggested you go on this mission. It was secretive and dumb.”

“And I’m sorry for wanting to take the Falcon against your wishes.”

Maisie smiled, “The ship’s alright.”

“I was going to get some rest. Only for a little while.”

Maisie nodded, not sure why she would care. Ben simply nodded back to her and continued on his way to the sleeping cubbies. 

* * *

Maisie spent some time with Chewbacca in the cockpit and then some time in the back of the ship with her droid, trying to make a more solid plan for when they reached the Outer Rim. They were sure to encounter bad folks the minute they touched the soil of any planet in the area, so they had to be ready. 

Chewbacca informed Maisie that they’d be approaching the Outer Rim in about ten minutes. And Ben still hadn’t been seen since his nap. Maisie didn’t trust herself to put in the coordinates that would link them to the last known location of the First Order supporters, so she needed Ben. She went off to the sleeping cubbies to find him. 

“Ben?” CC-1 mechanically chanted as Maisie looked around. She found him curled up in one of the cubbies closest to the floor and she knelt down, poking his arm. 

“Ben,” CC-1 repeated.

She started to shake his arm and that’s when he groaned, “Mmm… ‘m up. I’m up,” he reassured in a groggy voice. He sat up sharply and hit his head on the cubby ceiling above him, “Ow!”

Maisie snorted, having had the same thing happen to her. 

“We’re approaching the Outer Rim and we need you to set us on the course.”

“Got it. I’ll be right there,” Ben rubbed his head as he swung himself out of the cot. Maisie felt awkward if she just watched him get up and make it to the cockpit, so she just left. When she returned to the cockpit, she could see actual planets in the distance. Her heart started to race again, nerves getting the better of her. 

Ben slid past Maisie and dropped into the pilot’s seat. Chewie was already berating him. Ben seemed to be ignoring him as he plugged in their coordinates. 

“Which planet are we going to?” CC-1 asked.

“Navarro,” Ben answered. Maisie had never really heard of that planet. Then again, she didn’t know much of anything about the Outer Rim, either. Maybe it was a genuinely bad idea that she came along on this mission at all… 

“Are you ready to listen to my plan now?” Ben asked and Maisie felt somewhat annoyed by the fact that he sounded a bit condescending.

“I don’t know, are you willing to share one that actually may work?”

When Ben turned to look at her, Maisie quirked an eyebrow and a smirk, relaying the sarcasm that her droid failed to. It made Ben want to roll his eyes but he found it endearing.

“I’m still not going to be touting myself as Kylo Ren—“

“But we already said that—“

“Will you let me finish? Hold on a minute! If someone recognizes me, which I doubt, fine, sure, I’ll run with it. But I know how the First Order works, I ran them, after all. They only have a few possible motives and I should know them all. I figure out what their angle is, I offer them what they want, I earn their trust, and we’re in. Isn’t that why I was nominated for this mission?”

Maisie listened to him. 

When he didn’t receive an answer right away, Ben looked at Maisie again and asked, “Do you trust me?”

The technician stared back at him, now unsure of her feelings. Everyone back at the base was counting on her. Everyone trusted her trust in Ben Solo. The reformed sith. She couldn’t be found a liar.

“I trust you,” CC-1 said. Just after, Chewie roared his displeasure and his own opinion of not trusting Ben. Maisie grinned. At least Chewbacca could keep her on her toes, keeping her mind from straying, from not getting overtaken by emotions. 

“Do you think it’s a good idea to bring the droid?” Ben asked as he navigated the Falcon.

“Do you think it isn’t?”

“It’s your property, I didn’t want to impose what I think… but I think it’s not a good idea. At least in the beginning—“

“Well, if not in the beginning, how am I going to explain the droid later on?”

“Good point… okay, then I say leave the droid entirely.”

“How will I be able to communicate with you if need be?”

Ben didn’t respond right away. His thumb tapped on the control gear shift, “We’ll find a way.”

 _Boy, I’d really appreciate it if I had that translation watch, right about now…_ Maisie pulled out her notebook and flipped to the page where she’d planned out the watch design. It all seemed like a distant dream. There was no way she’d ever make this droid with her current knowledge and experience and tools at her disposal. 

“We’re approaching,” Ben said two minutes later. Maisie looked up from her perch in the seat behind Chewbacca and stood up, staring out the window. 

Once they broke through the planet’s atmosphere, the land looked desolate as anything. It was like Jakku, a planet Maisie _has_ been to, only colder and dimmer and bathed in a seemingly never-ending dusk. 

“It looks beautiful,” Maisie said as they went closer and closer to the landscape. 

“Sit down, please,” Ben commanded as they were nearing their landing. 

Maisie knew Poe could make landings, well, exciting, and she didn’t know how great of a pilot Ben is. She strapped in for good measure. Maisie braced herself for the landing and her stomach flipped when they dropped and skidded to the ground. It wasn’t that bad. 

“Nice,” CC-1 said after righting itself after sliding around on the floor for the landing. 

“Thanks,” Ben sounded somewhat out of breath, like he was also surprised and relieved with how well they landed. Chewbacca roared that it could’ve been better. 

“We’re going to be walking for a while,” Ben informed Maisie as he stood out of his seat in the pilot’s chair, “And,” he turned to look at her, “You might want to rethink your wardrobe.”

“We don’t exactly have any First Order costume on board, captain.”

“Overalls isn’t going to go over well,” Ben moved out of the cockpit to get his things. 

Maisie pouted, looking down at her clothes. 

“I think I look fine,” she angrily also left the cockpit in search of some new clothes. Anything black, she was thinking. Chewie sighed in relief, happy to not have any more distractions around him. 

“Change my wardrobe, he says,” CC-1 followed alongside Maisie as she ranted. She searched in the different closets for something, “It sounds like he doesn’t even want me to help him. Like I’m some burden…”

“See, I don’t think you wanted that to be said aloud,” Ben appeared behind Maisie as she was rifling through a closet. She spun around, a hanger falling onto her shoulder, “So you see why I said you shouldn’t bring the droid.”

“He’s unreliable,” Maisie admitted.

Ben nodded and he reached next to Maisie’s head and pulled a cloak from the hanger, “I think this should work.” Maisie took the cloak as Ben walked away. She really couldn’t understand that man. 

But she did listen to him. She said she’d trust him, and trust him she shall. Maisie took off her overalls and instead wore a simple dark grey shirt and brown pants with black boots, throwing the black cloak over her shoulders. She also made sure to bring with her data syncing equipment and all other small gadgets hidden within a belt she wore around her waist. It didn’t look conspicuous, but she knew she’d have an arsenal with her with which to steal information. And she stuck a blaster into the back of her pants. 

“What is my role in all of this?” CC-1 asked Ben just before they were about to head out. 

Ben strapped a belt onto himself as he responded, “I haven’t quite figured that out yet. But I’ll let you know when we get there.”

Maisie felt like slapping him. She would’ve done it to Poe if he was being this difficult and secretive. We’re supposed to be a team.

Ben bid goodbye to Chewie, who was going to stay on the ship and move it if enemies got near, as well as be in communication with them at all times.

Maisie knelt down by CC-1 and she gently stroked its head, “I’ll come back and maybe then we can finally give you an upgrade.” The technician gave it a pat on its head before standing and going to the Millennium Falcon’s exit. She touched foot on the planet and looked around, squinting in the dusky oranges and purples. 

Ben descended the same ramp and joined Maisie. 

“Try to keep up, we’ll be walking for a while,” he gave her a small smile and started to walk as Maisie scowled.

_I’m starting to think you’re leaving my droid behind so I can’t call you an asshole._

“Did you say something?”

Maisie’s eyes went wide. But Ben chuckled now, having known his comment set her off, so he knew she must’ve been fuming about something. Maisie followed behind him, taking one last look back at the Falcon. _Let’s just hope I can pass for First Order supporter._


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is absolutely shameless "only one bed" troping and I live for it

As they walked, Maisie had many questions swimming through her head that she could not vocalize.

_What is my role? He said he’d tell me ‘later’ but it’s later and I still don’t know what I’m supposed to do. What if things go south? How do we know these First Order supporters will just let us walk in on them and befriend them? How am I supposed to take information from them necessary to destroy this sector of the First Order from the entire Outer Rim!?_

Maisie huffed out a heavy breath, walking alongside Ben. It was hard to keep up with his long strides, having much shorter legs than him. 

“Something on your mind?” Ben asked.

_Many, many things._

But Maisie just nodded. 

“Are you nervous?”

Maisie didn’t know if lying would’ve been the better route, but she just shrugged. It was a truthful answer, since she was a mixed bag of emotions currently. 

“Try not to be. I need you to remain as calm as you can. Come off as cold, almost.”

When Maisie rose a brow, Ben clarified, “Like how you look when I piss you off.”

Maisie quirked a smile at that, the comment coming unexpectedly so it threw her off. Ben also smiled briefly. 

“I think you’re the perfect person to have with me on this mission--”

_How?_

“I also didn’t want you to bring the droid because you’re going to be doing a lot of the researching. I want you to be able to get inside and get information while I deal with them personally. And let’s say things go south and they catch on to us. If they want reverse information about us and where we come from, they’re certainly not getting it from me. And there’s no way they can get any information out of you. Does that make sense?”

Maisie listened to everything Ben said and she was slightly astonished. _So, he does have a plan. He’s making sure I’ll be protected._

“And it’s alright if you can’t communicate with me. I’ll be giving you all the information you’ll need and I should be able to tell where you’re at.”

Maisie nodded affirmatively. She had even more faith in the guy now. She pointed ahead of them slightly to the northeast, a small outline of a town coming into view. 

“Yep. That’s where we’re headed.”

Maisie watched Ben a bit closer as they continued marching through the dirt and wind. You’re a lot more talkative than I thought you’d be. Maisie’s legs were getting tired from all the walking, but she was thankful they weren’t scaling hills or mountains. She started looking down towards her feet and she saw her boots kick up the sandy dirt as she walked. Maisie glanced at her hand to her right side and curiously lifted it, palm open towards the ground. She didn’t know what she was trying to accomplish. The technician focused on the sand around her boots. With a few shifts of her fingers, the sand started to raise off the ground. Her eyes grew wide and she looked up at Ben to make sure he didn’t notice, which he didn’t. He was ahead of her. Maisie’s eyes were back on the ground and she now swirled her fingers in one swift motion and the sand followed suit. _Huh…_

Apparently, she made that noise somewhat audible and Ben turned around. Maisie immediately stopped and walked faster to catch up to him.

Ben stared at Maisie as she now took the lead, walking quicker than she had this entire time. The Skywalker knew he felt that familiar Force tingle. It was right against the back of his neck, like when he’d use it under the calmest settings. Or when he’d used to feel Rey’s presence… 

Maisie didn’t know why she was hiding this from Ben. Out of anyone, he would be the one to help her. She figured it was the Force. She’d known and felt it almost all her life. Maybe right after her family… anyway, it was around that time. Whenever she’d get overly emotional, mostly from anger, she’d feel this sensation that she wound up just associating as another side effect of a disability she couldn’t fix. But now being so near to another who actively used the Force, she assumed it was bringing it out in her. And it scared her. 

The rest of the walk was spent in silence, right up until they entered the town. Ben’s disposition immediately switched and he carried himself differently. Maisie noticed. It was like he was trying to channel Kylo Ren back into his entire demeanor. 

“Just letting you know now,” Ben spoke softly to Maisie walking beside him, “I might say some things about you that aren’t true, maybe are even rude. I don’t want you to take it personally.”

Maisie rose her brows. _Oh really? Seems like he’s been waiting for this moment where I couldn’t speak for myself._ But she was a team player so she’d go along with anything. Trust, remember?

Ben was clearly looking for something or someone. His eyes darted around. A stormtrooper suddenly emerged out of an alleyway and Ben made a beeline straight for them. The sudden change in direction took Maisie off guard and she bumped into a few townspeople on her way to catching up with Ben. She caught the tail end of the conversation where Ben was asking where their real leader was located. Whatever he happened to say seemed to leave an imprint on the stormtrooper because they responded with a jerk of their head and a quick, “Follow me.”

Maisie was getting a feeling. A feeling that things were not going to go very smoothly. But she tried to adhere to Ben’s instructions and keep her demeanor cool. 

The pair were directed into a back alley that was shrouded in darkness that wasn’t represented by the outdoor weather currently. It was a dark place with dark buildings. The stormtrooper stopped at one of the doors and walked in first, telling Ben and Maisie to wait. A few seconds passed and the door was opened.

“Come in,” the same stormtrooper said.

Ben walked in first with Maisie following. Before they had even took enough steps to be in the next room, three more stormtroopers showed themselves.

“Weapons check,” one of them said. One went to Ben and one went to Maisie. She saw Ben raise his hands so she did the same. They patted them down and she felt her blaster being removed from its snug place in the back of her pants. Then she saw them take Ben’s lightsaber. She didn’t fully appreciate just how handsy they were being with her as they checked for other weapons. The stormtrooper lifted up Maisie’s pant leg and patted the side of her boot. _Dammit._ They pulled out a blade she kept there. When they finished with the check, Maisie was thankful her belt did its job of being inconspicuous. They didn’t suspect it. 

The stormtroopers surrounded Ben and Maisie and guided them into another room in the dimly lit home.

“We got a guy here. Says he wants to help us. And we found this on him,” the commander stormtrooper walked up to a table with an older man sitting on one side, and he laid the lightsaber down in front of him. 

“Come and sit,” the old man said. Maisie and Ben crossed the room and Ben was first to slide into a seat across from the man with Maisie following. This older man had a white beard, not very long, and silvery grey and white hair atop his head. He was stocky to a point, not exactly skinny. His eyes though. His eyes looked black compared to the whiteness of everything else on his body. Maisie kept waiting for the moment someone would recognize them and rat them out and kill them. 

“Now, what’s a traveler like yourself doing with a weapon like this?”

“I figured it would be of interest, so I brought it along.”

“You’re selling it?”

“Absolutely not,” Ben stood firm, but still remained collected. This made the old man grin. 

“So, I suppose now is my turn to ask who are you and who do you work for?” the man waved his hand in the air and a woman standing in the corner of the room went off into another room. 

“I go by many names, you probably won’t catch on to any one of them. Right now I’ve taken on Ben Skywalker,” Ben showed a grin. The old man raised his eyebrows and then laughed.

“You’ve got some balls! I’m assuming Ben because of the former Supreme Leader?”

 _They really don’t recognize him…_ Maisie thought, astonished. Why not!? Ben was being so brazen with giving away his name! Sure, he traded Solo for Skywalker, but still. 

“I previously went by Cassius Amadoro,” Ben continued telling his story. He paused after saying the name, “See? Doesn’t exactly have the same ring to it as Skywalker.”

“And who do you work for?”

“Myself,” Ben countered quickly, “Always been myself. I don’t pick sides, I just want payment.”

“Ahh…” the old man nodded his head slowly as the woman came back with a tray of drinks, “A man who gets down to brass tax,” for the second or third time that conversation, the man’s eyes flitted to Maisie. This time they stayed on her.

“And what is your name, my dear?”

Maisie had the instinct to glance at Ben for direction but she was smart enough to know that would look too suspicious. She just remained staring at the man.

“Minerva,” Ben answered.

“You have her trained that well?” the old man chuckled again. 

Ben grinned to appease him, “Kind of. She’s like an insurance policy.”

“How so?” the old man was now toying with the lightsaber in his hands. 

“She listens, takes in any and all information, and she’s unable to voice it. So I can tell her anything I want and it stays with her.”

The old man seemed a mix of intrigued but also skeptical, “What is the need for that?”

“She’s the only person I can trust.”

There was a silence in the room after Ben shared that information. The old man looked at Maisie again, as if waiting for her to prove Ben wrong. He soon leaned back in his seat and took a large sip from his drink. Ben and Maisie left theirs untouched. 

“And I suppose this brief, quirky talk is enough to get me to put my trust in you?”

“I don’t think trust is required for the job I’m willing to do and do well. Just a vote of confidence and payment.”

“See,” the old man leaned forward in his chair and stared right at Ben, “I don’t know who you are and you’ve given me zero evidence that you can actually fight and do what I tell you to do. I don’t know any of your skills. But you’re brazen, I’ll give you that. Why would I hire you?”

Maisie’s heart rate increased as she sat there and listened. _This isn’t going to work. We’re done. We’ve failed._

“Alright, Baxter,” Ben used the man’s name, which he didn’t share with them, and that caused Maisie to turn her head towards him in surprise, “I’ve worked in secrecy my whole life, so that’s a good thing you don’t know who I am. I am incredibly skilled. I am worthwhile. I know your game around here is bounty hunting. I’m putting myself out there to work for you. I will tie up your loose ends. I brought that damn thing that I barely know how to use just for show,” he gestured to the lightsaber, “So if you genuinely have nothing for me to do, I’ll be on my way.”

Maisie was floored. She didn’t think that last bold ‘fuck you’ would do them any favors. She now studied the man's face (now known as Baxter). 

Baxter pushed the lightsaber back to Ben. Then he raised his hand in the air and a stormtrooper came over and placed a bounty puck on the table.

“This is what you’re looking for?” Baxter spun it around between his fingers, “It’ll be yours tomorrow. It’s getting late, go get some rest. We have a place in the back if you want it.”

“No, thank you. We’ll be staying elsewhere in town. Can’t have myself be associated with First Order,” Ben stood up, basically calling this meeting over, “We’ll return tomorrow to pick up the puck,” he took his lightsaber and placed it back into his holster. Maisie also stood and she retrieved her blaster and knife. She exited with Ben without another word from any stormtrooper or Baxter. And Ben still didn’t say anything to Maisie until they were out in the main streets, now officially dark because it was nighttime. 

_That was incredible_ , Maisie thought and would’ve said so if CC-1 were here. Ben asked an older woman that was packing up her cart of linens and cloths for the night where they could find lodging. She directed him to a place that wasn’t too seedy, as she put it. She seemed to appreciate the question and found Ben endearing, so she wished him well and patted his cheek with her wrinkled hand. Maisie smiled softly. She continued to follow Ben until they reached a strip motel of all different rooms. 

“Two rooms,” Ben asked the small alien sitting outside an office area.

It grumbled something in an accent about, “No two. One.”

“You only have one room?”

“One.”

Ben looked at Maisie and she shrugged. She was surprised he asked for two rooms at all. He handed over the credits for the room and they were given a key for their room. Ben unlocked the door after walking towards the back of the property. 

“Oh,” Ben said once the door was opened, “I’ll go ask for another one. There’s only one bed.”

And Ben headed out. Maisie was used to sleeping in tight quarters on literally every mission she’d ever been on. It was usually a one-bed scenario at most, sleeping bags or floors most of the time. She didn’t get comfortable since Ben was going to request another room. 

When he returned, he looked grumpy, “He won’t give me another one. I don’t think he can understand me. Sorry.”

Maisie shrugged, smiling softly. _If you’re so worried about the one bed, I don’t mind sleeping on the floor._

Ben went inside and shut and locked the door behind them. He immediately went to the bathroom, washing his hands and his face. 

Maisie started gathering an extra blanket and she took one pillow from the bed, setting it up on the floor by the entrance. Then she took off her cloak and kicked her boots off by the door. She let down her hair that she had pulled back for their First Order meeting and shook it out.

“No, you don’t— Don’t sleep on the floor, take the bed.”

Maisie shook her head. _That may have worked in your hut because that was your space. This is different._

“Please take it. I don’t need the bed.”

Maisie again shook her head. To further prove her point, she plopped herself down in her makeshift sleeping area on the floor, grinning up at Ben behind her curls. 

Ben stood above her and folded his arms across his chest, as if him looking sternly at her would get her to magically move, “I’ll stand here all night.”

Maisie snorted at that, looking down at her lap. This man is insane. She stood up again and rifled through some drawers in the room to look for what she needed. She pulled out a pen and paper and started writing. When she finished, she handed the paper to Ben.

_“First off, I was right about needing my droid for instances like this. Admit it.”_

Ben paused his reading to look up at Maisie, who had her hands on her hips, waiting for his response.

“You really felt the need to write that down?” Ben chuckled. When Maisie raised an expectant eyebrow, he relented, “You were right. I’m sorry.” Maisie seemed pleased with that and nodded her head. Ben kept reading.

_“I would’ve just shared the bed but you make things difficult. That idea seems to bother you. But I don’t want you on the floor for no good reason. Will you just suck it up and share the bed?”_

When Ben also finished reading that chunk, he looked back up at Maisie and then at the size of the bed. It was big enough for two. 

“I want the left side,” he set the paper down and Maisie smiled at him. _So he can be taught._

Maisie put back the extra blanket and returned the one pillow to the bed. She took off her brown pants and folded them neatly by her cloak. Just in case, she hid her gadget belt under the bed. As Maisie got under the covers, she still had a lot of questions about their plan moving forward. Ben seemed hesitant to get in the bed. He barely changed his clothes besides taking off his shoes, so he clearly wasn’t getting comfortable. And then he kind of stood by his side of the bed, looking around. Maisie patted the mattress beside her, grinning at Ben. When she saw him blush, she laughed. Her laugh made Ben smile and release any inhibition he held. He got in the bed and adjusted himself so he was comfortable.

“Goodnight… Minerva.”

Maisie snorted again and she kicked Ben under the covers. _Out of all the names in the galaxy, he had to pick the ugliest one for my alias._

_Goodnight,_ she said back and rolled over onto her side so her back was facing Ben. Ben spent a few extra seconds staring at the back of Maisie’s head in the darkness of their room. He liked her. He really liked her. And she seemed to like him… or maybe it was just tolerating him. Ben also rolled onto his side so he wasn’t facing Maisie. He tried to focus his mind on sleeping. And soon, a light sleep came over him. 


	9. Chapter 9

Maisie was having some dreams and they weren’t all great. But normally, she’d move a lot in her sleep. So she was stretching and twisting and turning while asleep, with no regard for Ben’s sleeping form. Ben stirred when he felt the blankets being pulled from his side of the bed. Maisie had finally found a better position it seemed and was curled up in the blankets. Ben rubbed his eyes and looked over at her. 

He noticed a tattoo on the back of her neck and he leaned closer to take a better look at it. The design looked familiar. He gently brushed her hair up away from the rest of it it was blocking. He’d never noticed it before. Maisie took a sharp inhale of breath and jerked when Ben’s fingers touched her skin. Ben fell limp, feigning sleep, with his arm laid out right next to Maisie. His heart was beating fast, not wanting to be caught doing anything creepy. Maisie rolled over and laid on Ben’s hand by accident. She scooted and gently picked up the hand, folding the arm over Ben’s chest. Then she laid on her back now and yawned, stretching. She decided she needed to use the restroom, so she stood and went to do that. When Ben felt her move off the bed, he peeked one eye open. _Stupid…_ he thought to himself. The Jedi tried falling back asleep but he couldn’t help his mind from trying to put together where he’d seen that symbol before. It was a simple one. A completely black oval and in the center were three digits. The ones on Maisie’s tattoo were ‘3NL’. 

Ben remained still when Maisie came back from the restroom. She noticed she had pretty much taken all the blankets and felt bad, so she leaned over and pulled them back over Ben’s body. Then she got back under the covers and fell asleep again in almost no time. Ben heard her light snoring and he smiled to himself. 

A shadow flitting across the small window in the room alerted Ben. He looked and he saw a figure standing there. Ben threw the covers off and grabbed his lightsaber, clearly alerting the peeper because it took off. Ben threw the front door open and started sprinting to catch up with the trespasser. He skirted from alleyway to alleyway in the late-night darkness, finally catching a glimpse of the sneak. Ben flashed his lightsaber as he vaulted himself at the newly visible Rodian. He used the Force to push it to the ground and then caught up properly, grabbing the Rodian by its shirt and roughly throwing it against the wall of the outside of a home. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Ben menacingly asked, the blue lightsaber at the Rodian’s throat. 

Ben only knew some Rodese, so he caught a few of the babbling, pleading words of, “Please don’t! Not guilty…”

“You think it’s fun to stare into strangers’ windows while they sleep? Do you?” Ben burned the Rodian’s neck and it cried out.

“Not me! Not me! I was collecting intel!”

“For who?”

When he didn’t answer, Ben brought the lightsaber to the unburned side of his neck and the Rodian started speaking, “Wait! I’ll tell! First Order! First Order! He said see if they’re suspicious!”

“And? What did you find out?” Ben kept his cool.

“Not suspicious! Just asleep.”

Ben grinned but derisively, “That’s right. And that’s what you’re going to report back. But you can throw in the fact that I don’t like being spied on.”

Ben shoved the Rodian harder against the wall before he let him go, watching him scurry away afterwards. Ben sheathed his lightsaber and that’s when he groaned. He had run out in such a hurry that he was running through the rocky roads all barefoot. But he tried to deal with the pain and walked back to their sleeping quarters. Fucking Baxter… Ben should’ve figured. The guy wanted to protect his investment, so he understood. But it was sneaky and he didn’t like it. As Ben ducked behind houses and skirted through alleys to avoid the main road, he stepped in some broken glass from what seemed to be a discarded piece of kitchenware that was tossed out of a window. He bit back a scream of pain. Ben limped the rest of the way back to the motel room and he shut and locked the door when he got there. He was surprised when a hand grabbed his arm, and he saw a very worried Maisie staring at him.

_Where the hell were you!? I heard the door slam and I get up and you’re gone! You scared me half to— why are you limping?_

Maisie’s rampant train of thought she so sorely wished she could verbalize was cut short when she was mentally yelling at Ben who was walking away from her. She realized when she looked down that he was leaving a trail of blood behind him.

_You’re hurt!_

“I took care of it. It was nothing,” Ben spoke, tired and sore and very badly in pain. He sat himself at the edge of the tub in the bathroom, relieving his bloody feet, “Go back to sleep.”

Maisie frowned and she groaned, terrified for his well-being and pissed all at once about his cavalier attitude, _“Ben, just shut up!”_

Ben swore he heard her speak and his head shot up at her, eyes wide. But her lips didn’t move. Maisie entered the bathroom, seemingly unaware she just spoke!?

“Maisie,” Ben started. She looked up at him, expecting him to go on, “You just talked.”

Maisie shook her head. _What a stupid thing to say. And rude._

“N-No, you did. You said, ‘Ben, just shut up.’”

Maisie’s eyes widened. He heard that? But she knew she didn’t speak. She couldn’t. They were both silent, staring at one another now. What just happened neither of them really knew. Ben shifted and he gasped, his right leg jerking off the ground. 

_Shit…_ Maisie thought. She opened the cabinet in the bathroom and took out the first aid kit. She was surprised a dingy town on a dingy planet like Navarro had one of those. Galaxy regulation, she supposed. Then Maisie went and retrieved a few small tools from her belt before returning to the bathroom.

“Thank you, but I can handle this myself—“ Ben stopped when Maisie shot him a sharp look, still frowning. It said ‘you will listen to me or else.’ Ben stopped talking. 

One of the tools Maisie got was a small flashlight. She stuck that into her mouth and then readied another tool that looked like tweezers. Then she sat herself on the floor in front of Ben still leaning on the edge of the tub. She tapped his right leg, wanting him to lift it since that one seemed to be the one doing all the bleeding. When Ben did so, Maisie grimaced. Not only was it covered in blood, but the whole sole looked black from the mixture of dirt and sand. And she saw very obvious shards of glass sticking out of the skin. Maisie shook her head and stood up again, leaning over Ben to run the bathwater.

“Woah, I don’t think I need a full—“ Maisie shushed Ben by placing her finger on his lips, her face mere inches away from his, her green eyes staring right into his dark brown ones. 

Maisie yanked on Ben’s right leg next and made him swing it around to the faucet spewing the water. She rolled up his pant leg for him so it wouldn’t get wet and let the water run over his foot, cleaning it out as much as it could. She needed to be able to see what she had to fix and the blood-dirt mixture would’ve made it impossible. Ben let her do the same with his other foot, trying not to show his pain. He’d been afflicted with much worse than this, especially by his own hands. But there was something about this whole scenario that made him feel more vulnerable. 

When that was finished, Maisie resumed her seat on the floor and she placed Ben’s right foot back into her lap. With the flashlight back in her mouth, she had two hands available to carefully remove any glass causing him pain and possible infection. Maisie raised her tweezers to the sole and removed the largest chunk of glass first and Ben did jerk and make a noise.

 _Sorry…_ she said in her head, not wanting to cause him any more pain. She made sure to remove the other pieces at a much slower pace, gently taking each one out. In the end, she removed eight very visible and painful-looking glass shards. The bleeding had slowed by this point, but there was no real way for her to close a wound on the sole of a foot. To do a final check for glass before she disinfected and wrapped up, she ran her fingertips over the bruises and other marks visible to her that she assumed were just from stepping on pebbles and such. But it didn’t hurt to check for unwanted bumps. As Maisie carefully felt her way down to Ben’s arch, she was rewarded with a sharp tug of his entire leg. Maisie looked up, startled. 

_Sorry!_ she assumed she hurt him. 

Ben shook his head, sensing her worry, “No, I’m fine. Sorry…” he placed his foot back in her lap, not explaining what that was. Maisie rose a brow but let it go, wishing he’d just tell her if it hurt. She resumed her touches down to his heel and was happy to conclude there was no more glass in that foot. The technician then applied the disinfectant to every open wound and then took the gauze out of the kit and wrapped it around Ben’s foot.

Maisie then tapped the other leg, wanting to also check that one for damage.

“No, it was that one that was the main problem,” Ben started to contend. But yet again, when he saw Maisie’s stern face staring up at him, he conceded. He rested the other foot in her lap. This one had no gashes like the other one, just the pebble bruises and marks. Maisie started her fingertips’ journey again, starting at the base of Ben’s toes. It was when he jerked again and this time whined that Maisie knew what was happening, just before Ben admitted, “Thahat tickles…”

Maisie was happy the flashlight was in her mouth still, hiding any grin she was sporting. She should’ve figured. Maisie kept up her search for glass (though, truth be told, she guessed he was fine and didn’t need this thorough of an inspection… but once she found out the great Kylo Ren was ticklish… well…) and Ben bit back his giggles. Maisie glanced up at Ben, seeing his red cheeks hid behind his hand, which she guessed was there as a support to stop his laughs from spilling out. She purposely wiggled all her fingers against the sole and Ben did laugh that time, taking his foot away from her. Maisie rubbed her hands together as if that was a job well done and the end of her work. She took the flashlight out of her mouth and was smiling obviously now. As she cleaned things up, Ben held her forearm, making her look at him, “Thank you.”

Maisie nodded, happy to hear the sincerity in his voice. She cupped his jaw in her one hand and then shifted it so she ruffled his hair a bit. Then she wrapped up the pieces of glass in a tissue and threw those out, and then washed her hands. Ben limped his way out back to the bed. Maisie shut the lights in the bathroom off and headed back towards the bed. She pulled that extra blanket from the closet in the room and lifted the covers of the bed by Ben’s feet. She folded up the extra blanket so it was like a pillow and she elevated his wrapped up foot on it. Once Maisie felt he was all recovered and set to go, she felt good enough to lay back down in bed. She knew there weren’t that many hours of sleep left but she’d try her best. After all that commotion, Maisie didn’t even want to know what caused Ben to run out in the first place. He was here, alive, so it must not have been that bad. And if it was that bad, he’d tell her. 

Maisie rubbed her eyes and yawned, shifting around so she’d get comfortable. She caught on to Ben staring at her. She showed him a smile. 

God… it was the way she touched his cheek like that. His stomach did a flip, almost knowing for sure what she was going to do. But she didn’t. He got an affectionate ruffle of his hair and that was it. And now she caught onto him staring. 

“Get some sleep,” was what he said to Maisie and turned to roll over. But Maisie grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back onto his back, shaking her head. She pointed to the elevated foot. She needed him to stay on his back so the foot wouldn’t be in a compromising position that would re-injure it or prevent it from healing. 

“Right…” Ben adjusted himself the right way again and he laid on his back. 

Maisie nodded and she lay on her side, facing Ben. She shut her eyes and tried to cling to the last remaining hours of sleep she had left before a new day. Ben let out a sigh, running his fingers through his hair. Whatever the new day would bring for him, he wasn’t sure he’d be ready to handle it. He didn’t get much sleep that early morning.


	10. Chapter 10

Maisie slept extremely well considering the night she had. Well, maybe the stress and being awake for extra time was what gave her this incredible sleep. 

Ben was already awake and dressed when the sun shone through the tiny window in the room. It took him some extra time to get his pants on without further injuring his foot. And then putting on his boots was exceptionally difficult and painful. But he accomplished it all. And Maisie was still asleep, having thrown herself diagonally over the bed. Ben didn’t have the heart to wake her when he first woke up, so he let her sleep. And she was snoring softly and peacefully. But Ben also knew they had a job to do.

He walked over to Maisie’s side of the bed and gently shook her shoulder, “Maisie.”

She didn’t stir immediately, only making a noise of displeasure in her throat. Ben continued, “Maisie, it’s time to wake up.”

Maisie rolled completely onto her stomach and pulled the blanket over her head. Ben grinned. To get some payback on her for earlier that morning, Ben took one look at Maisie’s now exposed feet from when she yanked the blanket up and conjured up evil thoughts. 

“I’ll give you one last chance,” Ben figured he wouldn’t be totally evil. But the chance came and went and Maisie still didn’t stir.

Ben fluttered his fingers on Maisie’s left foot and her whole body convulsed immediately, shrinking her whole body into the blanket. Ben, feeling playful, started prodding all over the mound of blanket, “This really isn’t going to end well for you… Or either of us if we don’t get going.”

Maisie threw the covers off her face and held up her hands in the air, wanting Ben to stop. _I’m awake, jerk._

Ben smiled. Maisie stretched her entire body from fingertips to toes and then rubbed her eyes. She looked up at a smiling Ben and she rolled her eyes, getting up and shoving him out of her way, now smiling softly to herself. Ben chuckled and he started making the bed neatly as Maisie got herself cleaned up and dressed. Once Maisie was ready, they departed. Maisie could see Ben’s limp and it worried her. How was he supposed to perform his bounty hunter duties he promised the First Order if he wasn’t operating at 100%? They made it to the same location as the evening before and made it inside without a hitch. The stormtroopers removed their weapons like last time and they sat themselves at the same table with Baxter. Deja vu. 

“Hope you both enjoyed your night in town,” Baxter opened.

Ben showed him a very fake smile, “Would’ve been made better if we weren’t being spied on.”

The bearded older man cleared his throat and tapped his fingers on the table, “I heard the news. You must understand. I like to know if who I’m working with is legit.”

Ben nodded, “Of course. So, do you have a job for me?”

Baxter stood out of his seat and retrieved the puck from his commander, “Now, you may think a puck is no big deal for a gentleman of your stature. You’ve seen hundreds of ‘em. But we’ve had this one specially designed,” he powered it up and it displayed the bounty. It was no one Maisie recognized and she observed that Ben didn’t recognize them either. This was the point where Maisie considered what was really about to happen. First Order usually wanted Resistance dead. Would Ben go so far as to kill one of their own?

“I want her alive,” Baxter said just as Maisie thought out her fears and apprehensions. This relieved her. 

“She’s slippery but she has something we sorely need in order to get us one step closer to… well, you get the picture.”

Ben nodded, “Alive. Is partially injured acceptable?”

“As long as she can still talk.”

Ben stood up next, ready to collect the puck and be on his way with Maisie. This would be the first step into getting their in with this group of First Order supporters. After this successful venture, that’s when Maisie would step in and retrieve the necessary information from them. And mission complete. 

When Ben reached his hand out to take the bounty puck, Maisie standing beside him, Baxter kept his hold on it. 

“I think you’re a smart man, Mr. Skywalker. And I hope you think I am, too. That’s why I’ve come up with a little bargain. Think of it as… _my_ insurance policy.”

And just as Baxter finished his sentence, two stormtroopers clasped their hands around each of Maisie’s arms. She struggled at first. Baxter was grinning as he saw Ben try to keep his cool as he looked from him to Maisie.

“You bring the bounty back to me, you get your pay and your girl.”

“I don’t exactly do any of my work without her,” Ben tried to reason for Maisie's freedom.

“Well, you’re gonna have to try to on this one, slick.”

Ben seriously was frazzled. He didn’t know if he could trust this specific ex-First Order officer. Would he kill Maisie the minute he leaves? Would he even actually let her go once he completes the hunt?

“Give me half my pay now and we have a deal,” Ben tried not to glance at Maisie and just keep his eyes on Baxter. The older man smiled and he handed over the puck to Ben.

“We’ll keep her nice and safe and well-taken-care-of. Don’t you worry.”

Now Ben looked to Maisie. _Everything will be okay. I’ll come back._ He wished and hoped Maisie read those words through his face. Then he headed out and now Maisie was left alone, with these First Order… and weaponless. _Shit._ She took this as a blessing in disguise. Maybe now was her chance to steal the information on the rest of this First Order fleet and hideout. 

The minute Ben left the hideout, he was fuming. Immediately, he felt like he made the wrong decision. Maisie trusted him, though. She’s affirmed that multiple times. She’ll be okay. He just had to move fast. Ben knew enough to not summon Chewbacca and the Falcon, since Baxter could’ve very easily been sending spies to tail him again. So, he went to the ship depot to rent one.

Back at the hideout, Maisie was keeping her cool almost to an expert level. She listened to Baxter and the soldiers if they told her to sit or stand or move. 

“You really don’t talk, huh?” Baxter asked her. She knew he was skeptical from the start. If she was fibbing this whole time, she could only imagine the kind of pain she’d be enduring that might’ve gotten her to speak. But she was truthful. 

Maisie didn’t shake her head or give this First Order leader any kind of response. He grinned. 

The technician spent the rest of that day with Baxter and his crew. She mostly stayed in the hideout, but she even went on a peaceful walk with Baxter himself when he requested it of her. Maybe he was trying to soften her up? Well, it wouldn’t work. When day turned to night, Maisie was forced to spend the night in the hideout. Baxter put her into a small bedroom. 

What Maisie found strange about this were, well, two things: 1) he didn’t post any stormtroopers outside her door in case she made a run for it, and 2) even if there were no guards, he didn’t even lock her door. This came off as extremely suspicious to Maisie. But she was smart. And she was going to make her move tonight, even if this was some sort of trap. If she could gather that information successfully and keep it hidden long enough until Ben came back, then this would be a success. 

So, Maisie waited until much later in the night, when even the outdoors were silent and unmoving. She removed the boots she was wearing so she would be able to easily tiptoe around the place without clunky, noisy shoes. Maisie cracked her door open and peered down each side of the hallway she was in. She didn’t hear chattering, no movement, and no lights were on. Maisie walked her way down a small flight of stone steps and made it to the main floor where they’d have their meetings with Baxter. She checked every corner. Part of her was also on the lookout for her blaster that they still kept from her. But that would only be a bonus find during her current mission. Maisie inspected different doors. One led to a kitchen, one led to a storage closet, and one was locked. _Bingo._

From a window slitted with blinds, she saw a shadow moving outside and she ducked down to her knees. It was a stormtrooper. They must’ve been stationed outside. So, Baxter did have a plan in place in case Maisie wanted to run away. She crawled her way to the locked door and pulled a few tools from her belt, starting to pick the lock. After a few minutes, a bead of sweat trickling down Maisie’s neck, and her hands starting to shake from nerves, the lock clicked and she now had access to this off-limits room. Before going in, she checked for any person that might be in there, finding none. 

This room was darker than anywhere in the entire hideout. She held her flashlight out and looked around. There seemed to be a lot of electronics in this room, all currently out of commission. If this room was locked and completely shut out from any outside prying eyes, then there had to be something of value to her in here. So, Maisie began the search. 

She spent a full hour in the room, she was sure of it. She was careful, meticulous, and didn’t make any noises that could alert anyone to her being in this room. She wasn’t having much luck finding information that could help the Resistance. She found a list of names, which she scanned with a tool of hers that was immediately sent to the Millennium Falcon’s comm drive. As she lifted stacks of bounty pucks and old-fashioned scrolls, she came across something extremely important. They were little cubes and triangles, and other polygons. Maisie recognized them immediately. _Maps! Holy shit!_

Just by looking at them, not even able to plug them in and get them working, she could tell they were maps and surely held important locations and strike plans for First Order all around the Outer Rim. With Maisie’s heart pounding, she got to work. Every one had to be broken apart and only the very minuscule inside coordinates burned onto a paper-thin chip could be taken by her if she wanted to scan these and get them to Chewbacca on the Falcon. She didn’t want to risk carrying all of them on her person with the risk of them falling out and blowing her cover. Everything was going too smoothly for her liking, but she didn’t take it for granted. Maisie didn’t let her tired eyes or hands get in the way of her completing this very important mission. She had to work with precision in order to take apart these polygons. 

When she was nearing the last four of them, she heard some footsteps in the main gathering room outside this door. She couldn’t re-lock the door but she did close it after she went inside, so she was hoping that was good enough of a cover. Maisie stopped what she was doing so she could listen and formulate a plan of either escape or hiding if she was found out. She heard muffled voices, and one of them was definitely coming from a stormtrooper’s helmet. It didn’t seem like anything urgent. Maisie worked quicker now, which worked to her detriment. A few times, the map vessels slipped from her shaking, sweating hands and landed with a thud on the floor. And each time she felt like it was over for her, but luckily, no one interfered. Just as she grabbed the last one to open up and transmit to the Falcon, the door was roughly pushed open. No knock, no gentle push. She was caught. 

“Freeze!” the stormtrooper behind Maisie shouted, and she assumed he was holding up a blaster. With the final map in her hands, Maisie couldn’t let it go. She popped the small, rounder map into her mouth and forced herself to swallow. The stormtrooper didn’t see that and he yanked Maisie off the ground. 

“She didn’t run, sir. We got her,” the stormtrooper flung Maisie to the ground in the main room and she landed at Baxter’s feet. She didn’t look up at him, only praying her stomach could keep down the final piece of this map. 

Baxter crouched down to Maisie and he reached out a hand, gripping her jaw and forcing her head up. She scowled at him. Baxter looked serious. 

“Well… why don’t we put that muteness of yours to the test, hm?” and he sickeningly grinned at Maisie. She tried not to show her fear at that remark, never looking away from Baxter’s ugly, brutish face. Something very bad was in store for her.


	11. Chapter 11

A full day went by, from the night of Maisie’s capture through to the following night.

Ben was still tailing the bounty he had to take in. He was getting closer to finding her, it would just take him another day or two. It was while he was flying his rented ship that he received a transmission. It was Chewbacca. 

“Please tell me this isn’t bad news,” Ben said.

Chewbacca started out by explaining the good news about the collected maps. Ben smiled and immediately said, “So it’s done! We got the information!”

But Chewbacca got mad at Ben for interrupting. And that’s when he said they’re missing one piece of the map, and he hadn’t heard from Maisie since she sent those maps one full day ago. Chewie figured it was fishy because even if she was unable to retrieve one piece, she would’ve still made it back to the Falcon and they would be on their way back to base. 

Ben’s face fell, “I knew I shouldn’t have left her…” he said to himself in a very low tone of voice, but Chewbacca still picked up on it. He asked if Ben needed help finding her, but Ben said, “No. No, it’ll be too dangerous if we end up losing you and the Falcon. They still don’t know you’re around, right?” Chewbacca answered no. “Good. I’ll go in there alone. Keep me updated, Chewie.” And the transmission ended. 

Ben was angry. He was angry in himself. If anything happened to Maisie, he’d blame himself ten times over. He didn’t communicate with her. She didn’t know the whole picture. It was all because of himself and his overconfidence and his reluctance to work for as a team. Ben didn’t know what happened to Maisie. If anything, she could be perfectly fine and just misplaced the one map piece. If that was the case, if he sped back to Navarro and stormed the compound without a bounty, he could get both of them killed. Ben reasoned the smartest thing to do was to finish this bounty hunt and get back to Navarro with the bounty as soon as possible. 

* * *

“Where are those maps, Minerva?” Baxter spat at Maisie, asking her that for what seemed like the thousandth time. Maisie’s whole body was shaking, out of her own control. She was strapped into what she knew as a First Order torture platform. She knew Kylo Ren himself strapped Poe into one of these and extracted information from him back when the war was blazing. She couldn’t move and yet she felt so weak. Her knees wanted to give out on her, but all the metal clamps kept every inch of her body in an immovable, uncomfortable position. She’d been like this for a day; no food or water. Only being beaten, interrogated, tortured with tools, and interrogated again. 

_How can this idiot still think I can talk after all of this?_ she wondered to herself for about the fourth time that day. A stormtrooper stuck a cattle prod type weapon into her side and Maisie convulsed, screaming. That was all these First Order scum got out of her: screams, whimpers, cries. To be perfectly honest, it would be a miracle if they did get her to speak after all of this. She’d thank them, matter of fact. 

“God damn you!” Baxter angrily yelled after the prod was removed and Maisie sobbed and shook. 

Even after all this torture, Maisie still had hope in her heart and in her soul. Literally the moment they first strapped her into this clamp, they removed her outer cloak and her belt, tossing those things aside. And her belt was where she had the map pieces that she removed from their vessels hidden. She knew she couldn’t be too careful, so she kept those as a backup, scattered throughout the many compartments that were not visible to the normal eye. They had their maps right there and they didn’t even know it. Rethinking that fact and hearing Baxter getting frustrated, well, it just made her laugh. She had the upper hand. They’d have to kill her and even then, they’d never get any information out of her. 

Baxter walked up to her and punched her right in the jaw, definitely off-centering it. It shut her up. 

“You think all of this is funny? You fucking bitch…” Baxter thought to himself and then approached from a different angle, “How about this… How about we just wait for your companion to return. And the minute he steps through these doors, bounty or not, we kill him.”

Maisie’s eyes flickered to Baxter, clearly angry. And he caught on, now sporting a grin of his own.

“Ohoho… see, that means something to you. Then maybe we can remove a few appendages with that lightsaber of his…” he pulled on Maisie’s fingers, bending them backward in a direction they were not meant to bend. She whimpered.

Morning had arrived and daylight filtered in through the cracks in the blinds covering the windows. Baxter summoned all his stormtroopers but one into another area of the hideout, obviously going about his business elsewhere while Maisie wasn’t talking. It seemed he just had to wait for Ben to return in order to move forward. The day dragged on and Maisie just wanted to rest her legs. She was sure they’d broken something by the knee of her left leg, but she couldn’t tell for sure. They’d burned the tops of her feet, her stomach, her neck; they’d slashed her face and arms; they’d (well, mostly Baxter) had punched her in her face multiple times. And now she couldn’t open her jaw. Maisie had passed out that morning, ultimately, from the exhaustion of the torture and from not having food or drink. 

When she stirred again, she opened her eyes and looked around the room. She only saw the female barmaid that Baxter had serving them all drinks on their first encounter. The barmaid saw Maisie awake and immediately left the room.

 _Oh great, she’s going to get them…_ Maisie thought and tried to mentally prepare herself for more of this pain. To her surprise, the woman came back with a basin of water. She pulled out a small step stool and stood up on it.

“You’re going to have to drink something, my dear, or you won’t make it. Quickly, quickly,” the woman urged and brought a ladle to Maisie’s mouth. Even though she couldn’t quite open her jaw effectively, the water still made its way down her throat and she moaned. It felt so good to drink water. But as Maisie drank, she quickly got the notion that this woman wasn’t supposed to be doing this. She continued to tell her to be quick with her drinking and her eyes moved around the room constantly, waiting for someone to burst in. When Maisie had enough, the woman took away the stool and brought the water back to the kitchen. 

_Thank you…_ Maisie thought, _Thank you so much…_

Maisie could tell it was the afternoon. She shut her eyes again and rested. Then a door from upstairs opened and Baxter came down the steps with his stormtroopers. Time to start again… 

* * *

Ben completed the bounty and didn’t have to incapacitate the bounty more than knocking her out. She was sneaky and quick, but not a great fighter without a weapon, he found out. And what made Ben feel better about turning in this bounty was that this thief had been stealing First Order weapons and selling them on the black market. She didn’t side with the Resistance, so there was no guilt about turning her in. She floated in the middle. Though, anyone that caused harm to the First Order really wasn’t an enemy of his. Maybe he’d let her go after all of this.

Ben made it back to Navarro, returned the ship, and dragged the now conscious but cuffed bounty with him through the streets and alleyways. Ben was apprehended by two stormtroopers when he reached the hideout.

“Let me in, I have what he wanted.”

“We’ll let him know you’re here.”

And one of them went and knocked on the door before entering. Ben was getting anxious and he looked visibly frazzled. He needed to see Maisie and know that she was alright. 

“Weapons check,” the stormtrooper said.

“I didn’t even make it inside the door yet.”

“New policy.”

Ben felt like he was being setup now, but he let it go. They took the lightsaber from him and ushered him inside along with his bounty. Ben looked around for Maisie and didn’t see her. His heart sank. 

“Where is she?” Ben asked immediately, seeing Baxter sitting in his normal seat. 

“Come and sit.”

Ben went over, “I brought you your bounty, alive,” he threw the puck on the table, “Just like you asked. I’d like what’s mine and I’ll be on my way.”

“Now hold on a minute. Relax, you look shaken,” Baxter was clearly enjoying himself, “See, we hit a little snafu after you left. Your spy companion stole something very important to us. And she’s not talking.”

“I told you she couldn’t talk.”

“Yes, well, we think you’re right. We assumed as much. But we also think now with you here, things may work in our favor,” he motioned with his hand and stormtroopers rolled Maisie out in the torture clamp. Ben couldn’t stop his emotions from becoming visible on his face. She was alive, yes, but she was beaten to a pulp. His eyes watered and his fists clenched. 

“Alive, too, see?” Baxter walked over towards Maisie.

Maisie was so relieved to see that Ben was okay. But she was fearing for his safety in the presence of all of these stormtroopers. 

“I have so very many questions to ask of the both of you. Where in the Resistance are you from? Which sector? What happened to our stolen goods? Who did you send them to? You see my concern?” Baxter went over to Maisie and first started playing with one of her curls between his fingers. Then he grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled, hard. Maisie let out a cry of pain. Ben inched forward.

“Ah ah,” Baxter shook his finger, “She might lose something of hers if you take another step. Now, Skywalker,” Baxter smiled, “You said you could communicate with her without her having to speak when we first met—“

“I never said that. I said she holds information of mine.”

“Oh,” Baxter put on an exaggerated frown, “I still think there’s more to that. So I want you to get her to tell us where our maps are.”

“I can’t,” Ben was holding back so many angry emotions. He was ready to boil over. 

“Can’t? Or won’t?”

Ben didn’t answer. He took his eyes away from Maisie for the first time since he arrived and saw her. He had a new plan. Start killing. With a swift opening of his hand, the lightsaber in the stormtrooper’s clutches flew to him and he ignited it, slashing and ducking at any stormtrooper that fired at him. Stormtroopers let loose with their blasters. Ben hid behind furniture and pillars in the large room and deflected blasts with his lightsaber when applicable. The bounty Ben caught ran off amidst all the din. Maisie watched him, hope rising in her chest yet again. He wouldn’t give in. He was truly reformed. 

Baxter was hiding behind Maisie during the ruckus, forming his own plan as Ben picked off every stormtrooper one by one.

“Ben Solo!” Baxter yelled out after Ben slashed through the final stormtrooper.

Ben spun around and had his lightsaber at the ready. But Baxter had a blaster of his own pointed at Maisie’s head.

“I don’t need her that badly if I have you, you know. Now that you’ve revealed yourself so willingly, I know how to use you.”

Maisie didn’t take her gaze off of Ben.

“Extract the information from her,” Baxter ordered.

Ben stood where he was, not lowering his lightsaber. 

“I’ll kill her right here, right now. One more chance. I know you know how to do it, I’ve heard the stories of how you’ve extracted so many answers from Resistance bastards during your time as Kylo Ren. Start extracting or I shoot. And believe me, you are not quicker than I am from where you’re standing.”

Ben lowered the lightsaber. That instruction he listened to. It seemed Ben was taking too long to decide, so Baxter aimed his weapon at Maisie’s thigh and shot.

“NO!” Ben screamed as Maisie also screamed. Her leg quaked with the new smoking hole in the thigh. 

“Alright,” Ben seemed to be giving in, “Alright, I’ll do it. But I don’t know what I’m looking for.”

Maisie started shaking her head through her small sobs. _Goddammit, Ben! Don’t fucking listen to him!_

“Maps. Very important map coordinates,” Baxter had raised the blaster back to Maisie’s head. 

Ben stared at Maisie. He saw her shaking her head. He didn’t want her dead. He couldn’t trust himself enough in this moment not to accidentally get her killed if he didn’t do what Baxter said. Ben raised his hand in the air. He said, “I have to get closer to her.”

Baxter waved his other hand that gave him permission to approach. Ben felt evil for returning to this torture method. He’d used it many times in the past. He looked Maisie in the eyes as he held up his hand again. He whispered a soft, “I’m sorry,” and flexed his fingers. 

Maisie’s eyes went wide and then she slammed them shut. She’d never felt anything like this in her life. It was like her whole skeleton was being tugged out of her skin. But it wasn’t really that. Her brain was being rifled through. _Oh my god…_ she wailed in her head and a guttural scream came out in her actual physical body. Ben winced, a tear running down his cheek. Her brain was being pulled and torn apart, she felt like her head was splitting in two. 

Ben was doing what Baxter commanded, even through all of Maisie’s screams. He could hear her. He heard her beyond the screams. He saw glimpses of her past, her interests, deeper thoughts she hadn’t brought to the surface. But through all of this, he was watching Baxter closely. He watched as he lowered his guard, watching Maisie writhing with an almost sick enjoyment. When Ben knew the old man wasn’t a dangerous force anymore, he turned on his lightsaber and sliced the man’s arm with the blaster clean off. Now he was screaming. Maisie fell limp, unconscious again. 

Ben kicked Baxter who was now on the floor, missing an arm.

“I shouldn’t just kill you,” Ben said slowly, “It would be too quick…” and just as he said that he extended his arm out and unleashed a huge pulse of dark side energy he hadn’t touched since the end of the war, trying to make what he had to do to Maisie ten times worse. And the man was screaming, oh yes he was. He held his head with his one hand. When Ben felt enough of that retribution coarse through him, he raised his lightsaber and cut off Baxter’s head. He still thought that demise was too quick for what he did to Maisie.

Ben immediately went over to Maisie and unlocked all of her clasps. Her limp body collapsed into his arms. Maisie’s eyes fluttered open and she pointed. She raised her arm, using much of her remaining strength, and pointed at her belt thrown into the corner of the room. 

Ben didn’t want to object with anything she wanted and he went and picked it up. After that, he hoisted her into his arms and carried her. He carried her body out of the town without any hiccups. She was falling in and out of consciousness. 

Ben didn’t look back and when he got far enough from the city with Maisie in his arms, he was able to maneuver and click his comm, “Chewie, we need an evac now… Yes, I got Maisie.”

And not a minute later, the Falcon was seen flying through the air and landed. Ben started running. He got into the ship and went up the ramp, dropping Maisie in the makeshift medic area. He then ran to the cockpit, “Maisie’s hurt. Can you get us out of here?” When Chewbacca made his affirmative clear, Ben ran back to Maisie to take care of her. 

Ben took care of the hole in her thigh where the blaster went first. Ben’s hands were shaking. They hardly ever did that, but this was frightening him. Would she have even more lasting damage that would cripple her if he didn’t do the right thing? And still in the forefront of his mind, he was kicking himself for putting her under his mental probe. He should’ve never done that…

The hole in her thigh came nowhere close to penetrating bone or even going through the other side of her thigh, thankfully. It ruptured a few layers of skin. They would have to rebuild that when they got back to the base. 

Maisie’s CC-1 unit rolled its way over to him as he was working. It bumped into Ben’s leg and he looked down.

“There wouldn’t happen to be a med droid on this ship, would there?”

And just like that, CC-1 took off. Maybe he knew the med droid. And sure enough, he came back with a long probe one on wheels of its own. 

“Help close her leg wound,” Ben instructed and stood up to move and start assessing other injuries that could be preventing Maisie from waking up. As the med droid worked at stitching what it could of the open wounds, Ben got an IV drip going. 

_“Ben…”_ Ben heard a voice and when he looked down at Maisie’s face, it appeared she was still unconscious.

_“Ben… bucket…”_

“Bucket?” Ben repeated when he heard the voice again. Maisie suddenly opened her eyes and started to heave. Now Ben understood. He ran and found a dirty bucket containing some broken tools, and he dumped those out, bringing it back to Maisie. Immediately, she grabbed the bucket and wretched what little was left in her stomach. She pushed herself to keep puking until finally, the missing map piece fell out into the bucket. She let the bucket drop to the floor and she laid down again, taking deep breaths. She was slowly fading back into unconsciousness after that. 

Ben looked into the bucket of vomit and he saw the little piece. He smiled, “You’re crazy…” he couldn’t believe that’s where it was. With the med droid taking care of Maisie and her wounds and vitals, Ben went off to clean out the bucket and retrieve the map. Once he did that, he stuck the polygon into the control deck of the cockpit and typed in the transmission of coordinates so it would reach the base before they got there, joining the other recovered map pieces.

After doing that and feeling accomplished, Ben slumped into the copilot seat and rubbed his hands over his face. Chewbacca roared gently.

“She’ll be okay,” Ben answered him. Chewbacca then gave Ben a rare compliment, saying he saved her life. Little did Chewie know the mental strain he had to put Maisie through before he ’saved’ her. 

Since the trip would take a little over a day, Ben grew more worried about Maisie’s state. They didn’t have the proper equipment to heal her on this ship, only enough to keep her alive. 

“Hm?” Ben didn’t notice Chewbacca was speaking to him until the Wookie nudged his arm, “No, I’m not tired.”

Chewbacca sounded more persuasive the second time he told Ben to get sleep. Ben hadn’t slept since he and Maisie were in that motel. He’d been awake and journeying and fighting for that damn bounty that ended up not meaning anything in the end. Chewbacca said it a third time and Ben stood up, “Alright, alright.”

Ben went to the cots and slid himself into one, not getting undressed one bit. It was now where he was feeling the pain in his still-healing foot. He was not being gentle on it, especially not when he carried Maisie for a mile to the Falcon. But once Ben’s head hit the pillow and he shut his eyes, he was out like a light. 


	12. Chapter 12

Ben woke with a start, having a dream in which he was basically back on Navarro fighting. But when he smacked his head on the low cubby ceiling, he knew exactly where he was. He threw himself out of the bed, his body still feeling weighted and heavy from exhaustion. He went to the cockpit to first check how close they were. He’d slept for 10 hours according to Chewbacca.

Once that was checked on, Ben went to the medic bed to see Maisie. When he approached, he could not have been more surprised, but in a good way. The med droid did an amazing job of cleaning Maisie up. 

“You did this all yourself?”

When the droid wagged its pointed metal finger in the air, it pointed towards the cockpit.

“Chewie helped…” Ben translated her pointing. That was awfully nice of the Wookie. 

Maisie was now out of the old clothes she had on and instead in a light blue cloak utilized like a hospital smock. Her face and arms were clean of any dirt or blood that had crusted itself on her skin. There were only bandages, neat stitches, or bruises visible to the eye. She still looked terribly beaten up, but it was such a transformation from the way Ben left her.

“Thank you,” he thanked the droid. As the med droid left, CC-1 stuck around. Ben pulled a stool up to Maisie’s bedside and he watched as she rested.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

Maisie’s eyes fluttered open and she first stared at the ceiling, the bright lights around her giving her a slight headache. As she adjusted, her eyes then focused on Ben and she bit her lip, frowning. She turned her head away and shut her eyes once more.

“Maisie…” Ben said, knowing she saw him, “How’re you feeling?” he reached out a hand to touch her arm and show her he was there for her, but she jerked, her eyes reading a terrified, _Don’t touch me!_

Ben now frowned.

“I-I… Maisie, I’m sorry,” he continued apologizing, “I am so so sorry. I never should’ve done that to you…”

 _It was like an extra goddamn heap of torture…_ Maisie whined in her head, not wanting to relive what it felt like to have her brain probed. She sniffled and started crying, bringing up a bandaged hand to cover her face. 

Ben didn’t know how to recover from this. He scarred Maisie. Maybe not physically, but in every other way possible, yes. And he did it to try and ultimately save her life. 

“I didn’t trust myself enough to save you without doing that, Maisie… If I could take it all back and find another way, I would. But there was nothing else I could do, I-I couldn’t let him kill you…” now Ben was showing his emotions. Maisie tried calming down and she eventually did it with some heavy breathing. She was able to look at Ben now. She lost a fraction of trust in him. That he would hurt her like that… it was inexcusable. But there was no joy when he did it to her, she knew that much. And hey… she was here; alive. Maisie’s head hurt again trying to go back and forth reasoning with herself like that. Ben had stayed quiet for a little while, but she saw him wipe his eyes with his sleeve. 

Maisie wanted to say something since she knew her droid was present. But when she did, the droid didn’t speak it. She looked down at CC-1 off the side of her cot. He looked to be up and running perfectly. But he wasn’t translating. _Hmm…_

As Ben sat there, avoiding looking at Maisie, he figured there was something he could do. Maybe she wouldn’t have to suffer nerve damage in her leg after all. Ben lifted the cloak off Maisie’s legs, which she tried to stop him from doing, not knowing what his plan was.

But Ben calmed her by simply placing his one hand over the bandaged up gash in her thigh. Maisie watched him intently, not knowing what he was doing still. Ben shut his eyes and concentrated. He took deep breaths in through his nose and out from his mouth. He did this a few times and Maisie started to feel something happening in her thigh. It worried her. She placed her hand on Ben’s shoulder, wanting him to stop whatever it was he was doing. But he ignored her and when he opened his eyes, he started unwrapping the bandage against more of Maisie’s protest at first. But when the bandage was off, her skin looked good as new. She didn’t even feel the pain that used to reside there. Her eyes went wide and she cupped her hands over her mouth in shock. 

It was magic. Maisie was convinced of it. But she felt it coursing through her… could the Force really do that? She looked at Ben after the shock went away. She ran her fingers over her thigh to make sure it wasn’t some illusion. 

Ben barely felt like he could glance at her without still feeling guilty. So he stood up and left her alone. Maisie laid back down and tried to rest some more, her mind now more confused and befuddled than ever. But truthfully, she couldn’t wait until they were back at the base, around people other than Ben Solo. 


	13. Chapter 13

Maisie was able to fall asleep again and woke up a half-hour before they were set to land. She knew she was drugged up so she couldn’t feel all the pain her internal body was probably currently experiencing, but she tried assessing her wounds to see what she was able to do and not able to do. She cringed when she looked at the tops of her feet, burned by that fucking asshole. It was going to hurt to walk, she could already sense that. But she started to unhook herself from the IV and other wires when she knew they were approaching a landing. She wanted to be able to walk out of the Falcon on her own. Maisie shakily stood up and leaned on the wall for support, but she collapsed into the bed again. The med droid came around the corner, wanting her to get back in bed. Maisie shook her head and tried again, this time succeeding in standing up. She used the wall as her support as she gingerly took steps to the cockpit. Ben was piloting now and Chewbacca was in the copilot seat. She plopped herself into the seat behind Chewbacca without them noticing she came in, until Chewbacca pointed it out.

“Maisie! You shouldn’t be out of—“ 

Chewbacca cut Ben off when they broke through the atmosphere, telling him to focus. Maisie had to smile when she saw the lush moon planet they were on. She felt like she was home. 

Ben landed without any issue, maybe a few extra bumps when they hit the tarmac, but that was it. Maisie could see the crews swarming and they were all happy. It made her smile even wider. Ben stood up and he went to Maisie, “You need help?” he offered. Maisie took his hand and she threw her arm over his shoulders, letting him bend down so he could support her as they walked out.

Chewbacca came out first and he was hugging and high-fiving the crew who he walked past. Then out came Ben and Maisie. Maisie squinted in the bright light of the planet. It practically blinded her. Medics immediately rushed to take Maisie away, but she tried putting them at bay, wanting to see Finn and Rose and —

“Mais!” 

Maisie’s head turned the minute she heard her nickname. She let go of Ben and started moving forward through the small crowd of concerned Resistance crew. In the next instant before she could even make a sound, she was wrapped up in two strong, familiar arms. No one could hug like Poe Dameron could. 

“Oh thank God!” Poe was saying over and over again as he squeezed Maisie tight. Maisie started crying again, this time from pure joy. Poe was awake! And okay! She didn’t even get a good look at him but she knew he was okay! 

“You did it!” Poe exclaimed and he held Maisie still but less crushingly so, “You freaking did it, Mais! We got ‘em all. We got the whole Outer Rim covered. You did that,” now Poe was looking at Maisie’s face alone, he saw her swollen jaw, her bruises, her cuts… he knew she’d been through hell. 

“And hey, you look like me after a bad mission, so it’s obvious you did a great job.”

Maisie giggled and she finally let the medics usher her to the med bay to give her proper treatment. 

Ben felt empty as Maisie slid off of the support of his shoulder so easily when she heard Poe. They were back at the base. Nothing changed. Seeing Poe hug her like that, it made Ben mad. Jealous, even? He turned from the crowd, ready to walk to his hut when he was stopped by a Resistance soldier. 

“Hey man. Thank you,” and he stuck out his hand for Ben to shake. Ben was taken aback by this, but he shook the man’s hand in return. And soon enough, others flocked him and shared their thanks and asked if he needed anything, if he was hurt. Ben was overwhelmed. As Ben was just nodding and sharing his respects with everyone who was speaking to him (kindly, for once), he didn’t even notice it was Finn who placed his hand on his shoulder until he turned around.

“You were successful this time, Ben Solo. Keep it up,” Finn stated. He didn’t look too happy, but soon his eyes crinkled and his lip quirked. It was nothing like full-blown happiness or admiration, no no no. It was subtle. Finn gave him a pat on his shoulder before moving away to matters that concerned him more. 

Even with all this praise, Ben didn’t know how to handle it. He definitely didn’t deserve it. Maisie did all the work retrieving the maps and the list of names. What did he do? He went on a wild goose chase to find a bounty that ran away and got free anyway, hurt his foot, and injured Maisie. He was still a villain as far as he could see. Ben got away from the crowd to be alone. 

* * *

Maisie in the med bay felt well-taken-care of. She didn’t bother mentioning the thigh injury since Ben took care of it. But everything else, the nurses were on top of. Maisie was given some food the medics felt she was able to handle, and she happily accepted it. When she finished, she was content laying in the bed.

“Knock knock, someone’s here to see you,” it was Poe again, this time with CC-1 and BB-8. Maisie smiled honestly too big. _Jesus, Mais, you don’t want his head to grow bigger._

“I wanted to see if we can talk,” Poe nodded to the droid that you leaned over the side of the bed to grab and put in your lap. 

Maisie tried again to speak using her droid, but nothing came out. She frowned. She shook her head at Poe, looking around for something. She motioned to Poe to try and tell him what she needed.

“A tool? For— oh yeah, I have this,” he took out a multitool from his pocket and handed it to Maisie. She got to work on opening up her droid to see what was wrong. 

“You look like hell,” Poe pointed out, seeing her face before, but now bearing witness to the marks on her feet and her arms. 

Maisie nodded, _It felt like hell._

BB-8 made some beeps to try and communicate with Maisie. Poe translated, “What, buddy? Mais, he says nothing’s wrong with your droid, he checked him when you all got back.”

Maisie looked up and she looked to BB-8 and then to her droid. Slowly, she was putting the pieces together. Whatever Ben did to her brain must have jostled something and rewritten all the programming she put into her droid. There wasn’t any link anymore. Maisie sighed and she felt her eyes well up with tears again. _Great. More bad news._

She set CC-1 on the ground.

“How was you know who?” that was one of Poe’s pressing questions in his mind. 

Maisie glanced at Poe and she shrugged. It was killing her not to be able to support Ben outright. She was torn with emotions.

“He didn’t support you?” Poe was now taking a defensive stance.

 _He did,_ Maisie thought and nodded her head, _He did. It’s complicated._

She wavered her hand in the air with a so-so motion, not really wanting to talk about Ben Solo at the moment. She pointed at Poe and forced herself to smile softly. She mimed sleeping and waking up.

Poe understood her and he smiled, “Oho yeah. I woke up two days ago. Did they ever tell you what happened to me?”

When Maisie shook her head, she got comfortable in bed to prepare for a long Poe Dameron war story. She never felt more comforted by any of those stories than she did now. He threw such energy into them. BB-8 was chiming in with its own opinions and takes on events when Poe was overexaggerating and that made Maisie laugh. 

Ben Solo walked through med bay without anyone really stopping him. He asked where Maisie was and he was pointed in the direction. Ben was planning on isolating himself for the next week but he had a sudden realization that he needed to discuss with Maisie. When he approached the room, he could hear Poe’s voice and Maisie’s gasps and giggles as she was being a good audience member to one of his stories. 

Ben waited outside the room, not wanting to go in there while Poe was there. He felt awkward now. 

“… yeah! Can you believe that crap? So the whole backend blew up and I was sucked out with it, but Finn grabbed me with his ship before any real damage could come to me. I owe the guy my life… on more than one occasion.” 

Maisie clapped her hands together while grinning at Poe. Poe chuckled, “Dohon’t be a smartass. You know you can listen to me all day.”

Maisie shrugged, not wanting to give Poe the benefit of the doubt. Poe smiled. He felt so happy knowing Maisie was back and safe. 

“I gotta get going. They’re doing a lot of planning thanks to what you accomplished. And hey, don’t feel so blue about CC-1, alright? You’ll get him up and running in no time,” Poe stood and he walked over to Maisie’s bed, leaning down and giving her a kiss on her forehead, “Get better,” he wished her with a smile before leaving with BB-8. 

Ben heard when Poe was making his departure, so he hid in another vacant room. Poe didn’t see him. Ben was feeling mad again, but he knew it was really the jealousy setting in. That was one of the things he unlocked from Maisie’s mind, her love for Poe. Ben knew he could never match that adoration, no matter how hard he felt he wanted it. Ben cleared his mind and focused it back on his original mission. He turned the corner and knocked on Maisie’s door.

“Hi,” he said meekly. 

Maisie was torn between forgiveness and holding a hateful grudge. Currently, it was the latter because she realized what he did to her droid. She didn’t acknowledge him much more than glancing at him when he entered. 

“Maisie, I… something occurred to me,” Ben started and he stepped inside the room, even closing the door behind him, “Have you ever felt… like you had this extra power in you? It’s like all the elements flow through you… I don’t know how else to describe it.”

Maisie did listen to him because this was obviously important to him for him to come all the way here when he knew how she feels about him. She nodded, though, knowing where he was going.

Ben exhaled, getting excited, “So… do you know that…” he didn’t know how to phrase this, “Maisie, I think you’re Force sensitive.”

Maisie nodded again. 

“You knew? You knew all this time and didn’t tell me?”

Maisie shook her head, _Not the whole time. I figured it out when I met you._

“Maisie, this is what I’ve been feeling since I met you,” it was weird how well Ben mirrored what she thought, “After Rey… I was feeling so lost, so out of touch with everything. And then I meet you and I felt a connection again. Not as strong as I did with Rey but there was something there. And it was the Force in you this whole time. That’s why I heard your voice.”

Maisie was listening to him and one of the monitors started beeping because her breathing and heart rate was increasing. 

“I heard you, Maisie. When you told me to shut up and when you spoke to me on the Falcon.”

Maisie didn’t know where he was going with all of this but it was stressing her out. Ben quit his pacing that he had started doing once he was in her room. And he took a seat at the chair beside her bed and pulled it close to her. 

“I want to help you,” Ben said softly, “If you cannot forgive me for what I did to you, I’ll accept it. But I know that I can train you in the Force. And maybe I can help you use your voice again.”

Maisie felt like she stopped breathing. Could the Force do that? Could it really take away years of trauma and abuse and teach her to speak again? 

_That would mean more than anything in the world to me_ , Maisie felt herself tearing up again. 

“Will you let me do this for you?” Ben asked. 

Maisie felt her insides getting warm. It was the way he asked. _Will you let me do this for you?_ It was such an earnest, sweet way of asking her if ’She’s in’ or rather than just telling her, ‘Are you interested?’ as if it was some business proposal. But Ben still wanted her consent. Maisie leaned forward and she hugged Ben. Ben did not expect that reaction. But he hugged her back, relishing in human touch so tender like this. When Maisie let go, she wiped her eye that started to tear. Ben gave her a small, barely noticeable smile. He stood up, not really wanting to leave, but he didn’t know if he was entirely welcome back into Maisie’s life yet. 

“Thank you. I’ll let you rest,” Ben said and he opened the door and took his leave. 

On his way out, Ben felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. He felt lighter and ready to teach and channel the Force with someone else. He knew Maisie was ready. If he realized it only sooner, he could’ve already been training her. But better late than never. And, if he was lucky, maybe she’d learn to trust him again.


	14. Chapter 14

It took Maisie about a week to get out of med bay and get back to working at the base. Poe would come in daily to give her updates on the new Outer Rim missions and to see how she was doing. Once she stepped out of med bay, nearly fully healed, she never sported a bigger smile. She walked gingerly to go easy on her healing body.

And it seemed doing a big job like this came with a lot of extra attention. Everyone around the base knew her name and would wave to her and smile at her. It was a different experience. She’d been with the Resistance since its birth, and she’d never gotten this much recognition before. And it wasn’t like she never went on a single mission; she’d go on them all the time. She supposed none were as big in the current state of things as the one she went on with Ben. _Right… Ben._

He was the one person who she hadn’t seen or heard from since he visited the first day. She was eager to start her Force training, though she knew she had slightly more pressing things to worry about. Maisie kept her droid by her while in med bay but didn’t stress herself over getting tools all over the bed and fixing him. Getting CC-1 to accommodate to her voice again would be a very difficult process. Maisie made her way to the tool shed and claimed a worktable for herself and set her droid atop it. 

_This might be the end, little guy,_ she patted CC-1’s body. She threw her notebook on the table and opened it up, flipping through various pages of scrawled notes and drawings. 

_Maybe this was a blessing in disguise?_ she thought to herself, chewing on the back of a pen that she rested in her mouth, _Maybe this was the push I needed to get this new design up and running…_

Maisie considered all of this before taking one last look at CC-1 and smiling at it, _You’ve done your job, buddy. Thanks. I’ll be seeing you soon,_ she rubbed its head and the droid seemed to bow. 

And Maisie got to work dismantling her CC-1 unit and returned his parts to the scrap parts areas laid out in the tool shed. She kept much of the wiring and her handcrafted translation disc, which was about the size of the pad of a fingertip but thin like a coin, but she took a deep breath and was ready to start anew. 

A few other Resistance members came by and asked her if she needed help on what she was working on, but she declined them all. She appreciated the thought, still surprised people were even talking to her willingly. Though Maisie was off to a good start, she hit a roadblock very quickly, since she hadn’t worked on the programming of the translation disc since she first conceived the idea many years ago. It would take a lot of searching deep in her brain and muscle memory to get that spark to return to her so she could make a new connection. The notes in her notebook just weren’t enough. So, she spent a larger portion of that day just tinkering. 

Maisie left when she was properly hungry and she walked carefully and purposefully towards the food hall, feeling the misty drizzle today’s foggy weather brought. Maisie piled up her plate high, not expecting some of her favorite dishes to be on the dinner menu today. And she went and sat by herself. 

Maisie started doodling in her notebook as she ate, her mind tired of thinking of anything related to droids for the day. When she was close to finishing her meal, someone sat right across from her and she looked up.

“It’s good to see you out of bed,” it was Ben, “You look… really great.”

_Thanks._

She immediately took notice of how different Ben was acting in the food hall. When she was first getting to know him, he said he didn’t like eating in there. But she supposed he had gotten some redemption after all. 

“Are you working on something?” Ben asked as he started eating from his own plate of food.

Maisie shook her head, closing her notebook now.

“Oh, is it a secret?” Ben smiled softly. Maisie shook her head again. Ben now caught on to the fact that she was upset or uncomfortable about something. He didn’t want to be a dick, so he quickly ceased his playfulness. 

As Ben ate in silence, Maisie watched him. Guilt was starting to eat at her, even though the other part of her brain was telling her to never feel guilty about this man ever again… yes, she was rightfully still a little angry with Ben. But then the _other_ other part of her brain was telling her to forgive him and accept him like she used to before the bad part of the mission. He was trying, she knew that much. Nothing about his personality was necessarily fake; he just wanted acceptance. Maisie reopened her notebook to the back of it and scribbled out, _“When can we start training?”_ and she slid it over Ben’s way. 

He read it and responded, “Whenever you like. I was waiting for you to get better. By the way, where’s your droid?” the question came to him since he knew it was okay based on the last time he saw it with Maisie in the med bay.

Maisie pouted and she looked straight at Ben. He didn’t know what he did to her droid. No one knew, not even Poe. She didn’t think of telling Poe because she feared he would go off and murder Ben. 

She wrote, _“Needed a new redesign,”_ and left it at that.

“Well, that’s good. You should teach me how to build droids,” Ben smiled again. When Maisie shook her head, “I mean, I’d be honored to learn from a master droidsmith like yourself.”

That made Maisie smile. He was being cute and sweet again. _“I’m not a droidsmith. That takes many years of experience.”_

“Well, regardless of the title, I think you’re very talented.”

Maisie wrote, _“Thank you.”_

She ruffled out her hair and stood up, ready to go to her tent for the night. Ben didn’t expect her to depart without him, for whatever reason, but he said, “I’ll come find you tomorrow if you want to start the training.”

Maisie nodded and she walked past Ben and gave his shoulder a pat goodbye before leaving. Ben turned in his seat to watch her go. _Am I trying too hard?_ Ben thought to himself when Maisie left. He gave her space to heal. 

On her way back to her tent, Maisie was stopped when Poe ran right in front of her, exclaiming a very energetic, “Hey! Welcome back from rehab!”

Maisie grinned and she walked up to Poe and hugged him. 

“Still haven’t fixed CC-1, huh?” Poe asked.

Maisie shook her head. 

“Well, it’s good to see you up and about. I completely get it if you’re tired and need to rest. Believe me, I get it. But I wanted to know if you were interested in joining our little bonfire tonight?” when Poe saw the apprehensive look on Maisie’s face, he added, “It won’t be crazy. We’re doing it as like a final night before we send a lot of crew off to tackle the Outer Rim thing. No one will be burning any tents tonight.”

Maisie smiled briefly. She nodded her head, figuring what could she lose? If she felt uncomfortable, she’d just walk to her tent and sleep. Poe hugged her again, “Great! C’mon, we’re getting it started now. You can watch all us strapping men and women carry big sticks to a fire pit while you just sit and rest up. I don’t want you reinjuring anything.”

Maisie chuckled and shook her head, following Poe. This man never ceased to amaze her. He was always flamboyant and funny and full of energy around her. She knew a few of his different personas, though. She’d seen him get depressed, frustrated, downtrodden. But the man knew how to get himself out of those holes. It was a trait Maisie only wished she’d master. When they got to the big pit just outside of the base in an open field, Maisie saw that everyone had already started drinking.

 _Oh boy,_ she thought to herself, _I have to remember never to trust that man…_

But to give the crew the benefit of the doubt, it was technically already “tonight,” with the sun going down in mere minutes. Maisie took a seat on the grass and watched as everyone grabbed sticks and piled them into the pit. 

Snap startled Maisie by suddenly coming up behind her and slapping her back, already letting the booze get to him it seemed, “Hey! Good to see you up and about, kid! Here,” he tossed a bottle into her lap, “Enjoy yourself tonight. You deserve it,” and he stumbled off with a few other pilots. Maisie examined the bottle in her hands and recognized this liquor. She shrugged and popped the cap off, taking a large swig from it, shaking her head out afterwards and coughing. _Wow!_ She hadn’t had hard liquor in a long time. 

She saw other crew getting instruments out and ready and she smiled to herself. This was looking up to be a fun night. 

Maisie stood and gathered closer when the fire was lit and ablaze, everyone cheering. Poe made a speech about being proud of everyone and proud of all their hard work and determination. It was slightly slurred, but he got the point across. In the next instant, music was up and blaring and everyone was lost to drinking, dancing, singing (poorly), and laughing. Maisie stayed to herself off to the side, not wanting to be in the way of anyone’s dancing. She kept taking routine sips from her bottle, not even realizing half of it was gone probably much quicker than was responsible. 

“Do you want to dance?” a voice off to her right surprised her but she smiled when she saw Finn. He was taking on the Poe Dameron style of unbuttoned top buttons and rolled up sleeves, clearly having drunk already. 

Maisie shook her head and Finn smiled wide, “Come ooon! I bet you’re great. Have some fun,” he gently took her hands in his and he set her bottle down on the floor. 

_I really don’t dance,_ she was trying to plead over and over again in her head, but even her nervous face and shaking head didn’t seem to register with Finn. 

“I love music, did you know?” Finn asked her while they were now in the fray and he was starting to sway and hop, “We never got any music in the First Order. But it’s just so soulful, you see?” 

Maisie was just smiling and going along with whatever Finn wanted to talk about. It was outright funny to see one of their generals dancing and looking so loose. 

“C’mon, you’re not really shaking it, Maisie,” Finn urged and he grabbed her hips carefully. Maisie felt very cared for with the fact that even in Finn’s drunkenness, he still treated her with gentle hands, obviously aware of her injuries. He started to try and guide her hips from side to side and Maisie laughed. _This is crazy!_

Contrary to Maisie saying she didn’t dance, it didn’t mean she couldn’t. She appeased Finn by shaking her hips and swaying her arms, moving around to the beat. Now Finn was laughing joyously, “Thehere you go! Whoo!” 

_I need more booze to keep this up all night._

Maisie was able to escape from Finn when he was pulled away by another dancer. She snuck out of the dancing circle that encompassed the bonfire, wobbling a bit as the booze started to trickle into her system. She went in search of her discarded bottle from earlier, not finding it with any success. _Oh well. Someone probably took it._ She went and got a fresh one for herself. 

Perhaps it was with the help of the drink, but Maisie spotted Poe just off from the dancing circle, trying to get more wood for the bonfire. She grinned to herself and made her way over there, bottle still in hand. Inhibited no doubt, Maisie snuck up behind Poe and jumped on his back, hooking her legs around his waist and her arms over his shoulders. 

“Woah! Mais! You coulda toppled us both over,” Poe clearly was far from sober himself. All he heard was Maisie’s soft giggling and he smiled. Being a good sport, what else is one to do when someone jumps on one’s back but give a piggyback ride? He took off and Maisie gasped, holding on tighter. This wasn’t exactly what she envisioned in her blurred mind’s eye. But soon, Poe was stopping abruptly and spinning around in a circle, doing all sorts of things that was making Maisie hold on tighter and laugh.

Ben attended the bonfire, too. How could he not when the whole base had been planning for it since that morning, talking about it? He remained on the outskirts, observing. He never partied. Ben knew he didn’t have one single memory of a party. Maybe in his very early youth, but who would remember that? It was fascinating to him how well everyone was getting along and just looking so obscenely happy. Then he saw a mound of dark curly hair bouncing around the bonfire. Ben started to walk forward to engage with Maisie, but when they came into fuller view, he saw her atop Poe’s back. He froze where he was and he surprised himself by smiling. They looked like two goofballs. 

Poe finally slowed to a stop mainly because he felt like any more spinning would make him hurl. Maisie thought she could gracefully slip off Poe’s back and onto the ground, but she strongly miscalculated just how dizzy she was and she plopped right onto her butt on the ground. Poe was worried at first but immediately his worries were dissipated when he saw Maisie just laughing to herself, making him laugh, as well.

“You’ve never been competent when you’re drunk,” Poe helped Maisie stand and she practically collapsed into him.

 _When have you seen me drunk?_ was her retort.

Poe smiled at her and Maisie looked back up at Poe through her curls. There was a moment when Maisie caught her breath and she was really _feeling_ everything in the atmosphere around her. She felt Poe’s warmth and where his calloused hands were holding her at her elbows. She smelled the burning of the bonfire. She heard the music and din of the crowd and when focused, she could even hear the crackling of the sparks within the bonfire. Maisie leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed Poe on the lips. 

Poe was definitely not expecting this, but who was he to not return a kiss? He let her continue the kiss and then when their lips parted, Poe stared at his best friend. She looked so innocent; her cheeks and the tip of her nose were all tinted dark pink. Her curls were bountiful and unruly, and hanging on her forehead. And then she smiled at him. 

“I think you’ve had enough for tonight, huh, Mais?” he leaned in closer to her and whispered. Maisie couldn’t have agreed more. It was like she was tranced. Like she didn’t even register she just kissed her crush on the lips. 

Poe supported Maisie as he tried to walk her out of the party and to the tent she stayed at. Oh wait, she had moved it from the last time he had been to her tent. Poe didn’t take this as a setback, merely realigned his course towards his own bunk. 

“Is she alright?” it was Ben who asked and came up to Poe’s left, looking worried. 

“She’s fine. I’m just taking her to bed,” Poe responded coolly. 

“Her tent’s the other way.”

Poe looked up at him, ceasing walking. He tried to assess Ben Solo right then and there, which was not very effective considering how inebriated he was. 

“Poe!” the voice of a different crew member sounded, making the two of them turn, “Beaumont’s gotten into a fight with Elv. Again.”

Poe rolled his eyes. Of course those two would go after each other when drunk, not having their sobriety stop them on a normal day from duking it out. He looked back at Ben and he moved toward him, “Make sure she gets to her tent safely.”

Ben let Maisie lean towards him instead of Poe and he nodded, “I will.”

“Goodnight, crazy,” Poe smiled and he kissed Maisie’s cheek before jogging off with the crew member to stop the fight.

Maisie could barely register her surroundings in her current state. She made herself walk, though, mainly keeping her unfocused eyes on the ground as she took her steps. When she felt confident enough that she didn’t need escorting, she promptly leaned off of her helper’s shoulders and took bigger strides. Clearly a bad idea as Ben had to run up behind her and catch her. Maisie giggled again. She looked up and saw it was Ben now who was with her. It didn’t seem to bother her. She stood up straight (or as straight as she could get) with Ben’s help and then slid her hand down his arm that she was holding for support and into his hand. She squeezed it and held onto it as she started marching forward. Ben didn’t intend to blush, he really didn’t. Maisie’s safety was his number one priority for right now. He made sure to keep up with her sporadic pacing so she could lean against him if she needed to. But she kept hold of his hand. Ben had to do the remaining guiding to get Maisie to her tent.

“Duck your head— no, not like—“ Ben sighed, Maisie not wanting to get into her tent. She was pouty and stubborn, like a child. But with perseverance, Ben got her inside. Maisie flopped onto her cot once inside and she squirmed around to get comfortable. She wound up on her back, stretching. Surprisingly, she kept her eyes open, now watching Ben. 

“Take it easy,” Ben directed gently, putting a hand on her thigh, “I need you to stop squirming for a second,” he started to unlace her boots. Knowing her injuries on the tops of her feet that were most definitely still healing, he didn’t want to accidentally injure her by being rough. Maisie had quieted down when she felt Ben tugging at her boots. She watched him do that, trying to keep her focus on something, anything that would’ve kept her grounded. She was floating. 

“Good,” Ben said and sat back when he got the boots off without much hassle. He ran his fingers through his hair to push it out of his face and then looked back at Maisie. 

“You’re covered in grass stains and dirt,” was what Ben decided to say and Maisie giggled. 

Ben also smiled. He couldn’t help but look at her. The motion sensor light Maisie set up in her tent illuminated the two of them. Ben saw her overall had one strap undone and her shirt underneath was skewed, stretched over her shoulder. Her cheeks looked rosy and plump. She had a smudge of dirt across her freckle-dusted face. Maisie sat up as Ben was admiring her. She patted the floor next to her. 

Ben crawled closer, thinking she needed something. But Maisie grabbed Ben’s shirt and started to pull him to lay down.

“W-Wait, Maisie. Hang on,” he took her fingers off his shirt and she let out a whine. He held her hands in his much larger ones, “You need sleep.”

Maisie shook her head, freeing her hands and she pulled at both of his shoulders now. 

“Maisie, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Ben tried to reason with her, leaning his way towards the tent entrance. 

Maisie frowned very genuinely and she stared at Ben with sad eyes, _“Don’t go.”_

Ben stopped in his tracks. He felt that tingle down the back of his neck again. He heard her request. He looked back at her and he just didn’t have it in him to refuse that yearning face. Ben crawled back over to her and when Maisie saw he listened, she smiled and scooted over so he’d have room. He really didn’t, considering her cot was meant for one. But he made it work. Once Ben was laying down, Maisie immediately cuddled up to him, even wrapping her arms around his middle to make sure he wouldn’t leave. 

Ben felt stiff at first. He laid perfectly still, barely breathing, when Maisie latched onto him. He heard her drowsily hum her contentment and she was not moving anymore. Once Ben realized this was really happening and he couldn’t leave, he accepted it. He let Maisie’s warm body warm him up. He was worried his quickened heartbeat would reach her ears since her face was pressed right into his chest, but nothing seemed to bother her. Ben didn’t quite know what to do with his hands. One of them he stretched just above Maisie’s head and the other he laid at his side. Not the most comfortable position, but he didn’t feel comfortable touching her back, so this was his compromise. Well, not that he wasn’t comfortable… he would’ve loved to just hold her and feel her skin against his… he didn’t think it was right in her buzzed state of mind. 

The motion sensor light went off and Ben knew it was finalized. He didn’t move but tried to feel tired. He shut his eyes and just prayed sleep would come over him so he wouldn’t be stuck awake, thinking all night, knowing Maisie was hugging him this tight. The distant sounds of the party helped lull Ben to sleep eventually. Now he really wasn’t aware when his body naturally conformed into Maisie’s in his sleep. He was in a deep, wonderful slumber.


	15. Chapter 15

Maisie slept long and with a multitude of very strange and different dreams to keep her brain from getting too much rest. When she woke, she felt stiff and she definitely had a headache. But she also knew she wasn’t alone wherever she was sleeping. She pulled her arm off the body she was sleeping next to and sat up, rubbing her eyes free from any gook that accumulated overnight. And when she reopened them, she gasped.

_Ben!_

She looked down and checked her own clothing and then looked at his. Everyone’s fully dressed.

_Okay, no sex. That’s good._

Maisie was trying to put these pieces together. She remembered the early part of the night, and then there was no memory, and then the more she sat and thought about it, she did come to understand it was under her request that Ben stayed the night. And Maisie knew her drunk self wasn’t shy about it, having clearly had her arm wrapped snugly around him all night. 

_Never drinking again…_ she mantra’d to herself, shoving her face into her hands and rubbing. She took a deep breath and stretched her arms over her head, taking quick glances at Ben. The poor guy wasn’t even on her mattress anymore. He was definitely too big for her tent lengthwise. Maisie crawled over to her belongings and pulled out an ointment the doctor at med bay recommended she apply to her burn marks every day. And Maisie knew she had to make it a routine to do that every morning or else she’d forget. She applied by her neck first, and then slipped off her overalls, careful Ben was still asleep while she did that, and applied it to an area to the right of her bellybutton. Then she slipped off her socks to put it on the tops of her feet.

Ben rolled onto his side and he blinked his eyes open. He saw Maisie was awake and he immediately wanted to go back to feigning sleep, not wanting to interact and hear what she had to say about last night and him sleeping over. But he already moved, so it was too late. 

Maisie glanced at Ben and she smiled softly, embarrassed. He gave her the exact same look in return. 

“Morning,” he wished her and remained laying down. Maisie nodded, _Morning._

Her mind was aching to just disclose, _Listen, whatever happened last night, I’m so sorry you had to deal with me. I was drunk. I don’t usually drink, like, ever. It won’t happen again._

But Ben seemed to be on an entirely different wavelength when he asked Maisie, “Did you sleep well?”

The question did take Maisie by surprise. Ben was just looking at her, laying on his side, using his own arm as a pillow. She nodded her head at him, smiling again, and she pushed hair out of her face. _You know, I actually slept really well…_

“Good. You seemed like you were setting yourself up for a good night’s sleep last night.”

Maisie blushed dark red and looked away from Ben. He chuckled, “Sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” he sat up and scratched his ribs, letting out a yawn. He nearly added _It was cute_ , but he thought better of it. Now that he was sitting upright, he could see more of Maisie. He saw her bare legs and the scars and greenish-yellow healing bruises. 

“Ouch,” he said aloud when he saw the tops of her feet, “Does that hurt?” he inquired. They looked blackened. 

Maisie looked from Ben to her injury and she shrugged her shoulders. She mimed a claw scratching, trying to say it was mostly just itchy. _It’s like a giant scab now. Hard not to scratch at it._

Maisie remembered Ben’s foot injury and she pointed at his boots that were still on from last night. It took Ben a second to understand what she wanted, but he got it, “Oh, yeah, they’re fine. The bad one is just a little extra-sensitive still. You did a good job patching me up that night."

The sensitivity remark had Maisie grinning, still finding it absolutely hilarious that Ben was ticklish. Somehow she just didn’t think anyone on the dark side was. _Maybe he got ticklish when he switched sides?_ Great, now she had dumb questions filling her head. 

It wasn’t until that small gap of silence between the two of them that Ben realized he probably shouldn’t be intruding on Maisie’s space anymore. Truthfully, he could’ve spent the whole day in there just talking with her. 

“I… should go,” Ben started inching his way towards the tent entrance, “If you still want to train at some point today— I mean, if you’re tired after last night and don’t want to, I totally understand.”

Maisie shook her head, _I want to_ , she hoped her eyes looked eager enough. 

“Great,” Ben smiled, looking relieved, “And Maisie, I don’t know if you know you did this, but I heard you again last night. You spoke to me again.”

Maisie, astonished and happy at first, immediately really hoped it wasn’t anything embarrassing that she said. 

“I think there’s really good promise in you. Maybe being drunk would help,” Ben threw in that tease and Maisie scoffed, throwing her balled up socks at him. 

Ben chuckled, “See you later,” and he left her tent, stretching out his cramped and sore limbs the minute he stood upright. 

Maisie smiled to herself, tracing around the outside of the scars on the tops of her feet. She knew she had to get cleaned and dressed for the day so she started that. Still, all she wanted to know that morning was, _What the hell did drunk me say to Ben?_


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big turning point! Wooooaaaahhhhhh!!!

Maisie would normally be helping get the teams heading out on a mission ready to go, but the doctors at the med bay recommended she didn’t do any intense work for at least another week. She hoped that didn’t also include Force training because she was about to break those rules if that was the case. But she did go to see everyone off. Poe and Finn were going so she’d have two less friends around. 

When she showed up, cleaned and as bright-eyed as she could muster, she found Poe and waved to him when she approached. He had his pilot gear on, which she always thought looked extra adorable on him. 

Poe smiled, “Hey there,” he hugged Maisie, “You doing okay? Last night you were… wrecked,” he giggled. He was waiting for her to address the kiss. He didn’t hold it against her at all; they were close friends and they were both drunk. But to his surprise, it didn’t seem like Maisie even remembered doing that.

Maisie shoved him and chuckled, _I’m doing fine now, jerk. Good luck,_ she smiled at him and now hugged him tight, wishing him goodbye. 

“Take care of yourself. And don’t go getting drunk without me,” he waved as he walked towards the X-Wing he’d be piloting. Maisie rolled her eyes and waved. The crews took off in their respective ships and everyone back on base relaxed for a little while. They had nothing pressing to worry about for the very short time being. 

Maisie remembered Ben telling her he’d go find her when he was ready to train, so she went about her day waiting for him. She grabbed some breakfast to go and took her droid supplies from her locker in the tool depot, wanting to try and make more headway on her droid. The song the musicians were playing last night was stuck in her head so she took to humming it to herself as she worked. 

Maisie realized she really needed last night. She felt no pressure or stress today. She felt like she had a little bit of her confidence back as she toyed with her parts. And it seemed to be true. In about two hours of work, she had a little speaker that she took from the inside of the D-O cone head and she heard words.

“Yay,” the speaker spoke metallically and statically but inside she was thrilled. She figured it could really only handle one-word-at-a-time, but that was fine with her for the time being. It was progress. She studied her notes some more to try and see what her next step would be. She couldn’t quite come up with the next part yet, so she stuck to just digging through parts to try and look for a clearer, more powerful speaker. 

Ben came to find Maisie, having asked a few people and looking through all the usual locations. He saw her on a ladder, her head stuffed into a big box that she was looking through, balancing it on her hip. 

“Hello,” he spoke.

Maisie looked up and she nodded her head, taking the box with her as she carefully climbed down the ladder. She walked past Ben to get to her worktable. 

“You ready?” he asked her and followed her to the table. Maisie shook her head, raising one finger in the air to quiet him as she concentrated. She found a larger speaker that didn’t seem to be in bad shape. She was now working on hooking up the translation chip to the speaker, and after a testing crackle from the speaker, “Ta-da,” it said. Maisie smiled wide. 

“Nice,” Ben smiled back, seeing how excited she was.

“Temporary,” the speaker said as she lifted up the clunky mix of parts and wires. 

“Got it. Can we go now?”

 _You seem more excited than I am,_ Maisie thought. She nodded, putting away her things and collecting her new communications system. 

Ben lead her out of base and towards Ben’s hut. But even that they walked past and made it deeper into the woods. They made it to a clearing in the middle of all the tall and thick trees and foliage. Sunlight was illuminating the whole area.

“Pretty.”

“Peaceful, too, huh?” Ben asked and he walked over to bask in the sunlight, “I can really collect my thoughts in this area over here. I’m hoping it’ll help get you focused, too.”

Maisie set her speaker down on the grass and walked to the sun, as well. 

Ben looked at her and he felt good about this. True, he hadn’t ever taught someone how to use the Force. And he passed it off to Maisie as if he really knew what he was doing, which he didn’t. But Ben felt confident, and Maisie was willing to learn, so he figured those to facts could take them part of the way. 

“Do you know when you usually feel the Force?” Ben asked her. He went and sat on the floor, cross-legged. He gestured for Maisie to do the same, across from him. 

“Angry,” the tinny speaker said, “You,” it added. 

“Me?”

Maisie nodded, trying to figure out the one or two words she could use that would come out in the droid, “With,” a pause, “you.”

Ben first thought she meant whenever she was angry at him, which worried him. But when she clarified, Ben knew it was two different situations.

“So, strong emotions. And when you’re with me? Like around me?”

Maisie nodded to both of those. 

“That’s why this is gonna require hard work. It’s easy to let that Force run through you when you’re angry or frustrated or even immensely sad about something. But it’s chaotic and not controlled. My job is to help you focus it. To put it towards a goal.”

Maisie nodded again.

“So, first, just try to clear your mind. Don’t think of the times when you were angry and you ended up using the Force. Don’t think about trying to use it now, even. Just relax. Listen. Be silent. Shut your eyes if you have to,” Ben instructed. 

Maisie listened to everything he said, shutting her eyes and just allowing herself to melt into the warmth beating down on her back from the sunlight. 

Ben was watching her as she concentrated like this. He waited for a minute. Then he asked in a quiet tone of voice, “Do you feel anything?”

“No.”

Ben wondered for a moment if she needed aid. He touched his hands to the grass on either side of him and breathed out, exhaling a gust of Force energy out of his hands and into the ground. 

Maisie gasped, “Yes,” the speaker said. She still had her eyes closed, now feeling a tingle up her spine from that wave. Ben smiled. He didn’t want to prod much more, wanting this to come from inside Maisie. 

Maisie took deep, slow breaths. She heard birds chirping and squawking, and the wind rustling the leaves in the trees… and grass shifting itself beneath her, a low crunching, and bugs crawling around through the grass and on leaves and buzzing in the air. She could hear the wind. It was like a whisper. 

Ben noticed when she was fully immersed. He calmed and centered himself before going in and trying something for himself that he wanted to try since he figured out she was Force-sensitive. 

“Maisie, how do you feel?”

Maisie thought Ben’s voice sounded different, almost closer but not as if he just scooted closer to her. She didn’t want to break her focus though, and she responded, “Like everything came to a standstill,” and she heard her droid repeat in the now muffled distance, “Standstill.”

Ben smiled and kept his eyes shut, not wanting to break the connection, “You sound only a little like I imagined.”

Maisie was quiet, now a little confused.

“You have a bit of an accent,” he also remarked. 

Maisie had to open her eyes and she was staring at Ben now. His were also open. He took a big, deep breath. Maisie saw his chest rise and fall and she tried to follow it, but now she was starting to freak out. She felt the tingles in her fingers again like when she levitated the screwdriver on board the Millennium Falcon. 

“Ben?”

“Yes?”

Maisie outwardly gasped again and her hands flew to her mouth. She didn’t speak. There were no vocals coming from her mouth, she didn’t move her lips. In that regard, she was still mute. But she also noticed Ben didn’t move his lips when he answered either. Droid forgotten, Maisie’s mind was swimming, overwhelmed with things to try and say.

“What did I say to you last night? When I was drunk?” Maisie sounded skeptical when she asked, like she was testing Ben to make sure she wasn’t imagining this. 

Ben grinned and he answered her, again, lips unmoving, “You said ‘don’t go’.” 

Maisie’s jaw dropped and her eyes welled with tears. 

“You can hear me.”

“I can hear you. You sound fantastic,” he added, now smiling at her shock. 

Maisie sat up on her knees and looked around at the environment. It felt like the sun was sunnier and the grass was greener and the trees taller. Her hands were shaking. 

Ben could sense Maisie getting overwhelmed and he looked around and noticed pebbles and bits of dirt and fallen, dead leaves rising off the ground. 

“Maisie, easy,” Ben reminded, this time aloud. 

“Y-You can hear me. There’s no static, there’s no-no delay, no misinterpretation. You hear me in my voice,” Maisie was looking right at Ben, tear streaks visible down her cheeks. 

Ben nodded and this time answered aloud, “I can hear you. I’ve helped you build a Force bond with me. If you think it, I can hear it as if you were talking.”

“Holy shit!”

Ben laughed at that. Maisie felt tingles course through her whole body now and she crawled forward, smiling and teary-eyed. She threw herself onto Ben and hugged him tight, knocking him over onto his back. 

“Thank you thank you thank you!”

Ben was startled by the tackle but he hugged her back. 

“You deserve this.”

Maisie pulled back and she just looked at Ben’s stupid, meekly smiling face and she kissed him. She cupped his cheeks and kissed him. Ben didn’t even hesitate to kiss back, holding the back of Maisie’s neck with one of his hands while the other rested in the small of her back. Maisie pulled away abruptly and she looked at Ben, now with a new spark in her eyes that Ben didn’t know he was fond of. 

“You— You fucking— asshole!” she yelled, wanting to say that for soooo long. She climbed off of him and stood up.

“What?” Ben said dumbly, out of shock. 

“You tortured me,” now that Maisie knew he could hear her and hear every bit of emotion she had in her bones and brain, she went off, unloading, “You did it and-and I know the situation was bleak—“

“I couldn’t let you die, Maisie—“

“You’re not listening! It’s my turn to talk now!” she started to pace, not knowing how to physically embody all she was reliving and feeling, “You tortured me, you were in my head, it-it… I’ve been through a lot. It may not look it, but I’ve been through so damn much… and that— that thing you did to my head was the worst torture I’d ever experienced… it felt so violating, like-like you were just rummaging around in there! Ugh!” she threw her whole body into that exclamation, “Ben, it hurt me. It hurt me so much. It ruined my trust in you. I trusted you, I was the only one that did and then you went and did that to me and… ahh…” Maisie held her head, so _so_ overwhelmed. She hadn’t been heard ever. Even before the… she wasn’t heard. And now here it was, all laid flat out on the table, “It ruined my hard work, Ben,” her voice sounded smaller in Ben’s head, like she was retreating, “I had to rebuild my droid because whatever you did to me fucked with the system I’d worked so many years to build… It knocked something loose and I’m back to square one. You did that,” she made sure she kept reminding him of just how badly he hurt her that day, “I’d almost prefer he killed me that day…” she took a big, drawn out breath, trying to will herself not to hysterically cry, “But now that I’m here… and you were able to do this, I… I’m just so completely overwhelmed… I feel like I can’t breathe and I’m not even taking breaths to speak!” she held her head again and she fell to her knees. She needed this moment of silence, having gotten all of what she most pressingly wanted to say out of her mou— well, her brain. She finally looked Ben directly in the eyes, not having done so the entire time she spoke, “You better have freaking heard all that.”

Ben only nodded. 

The technician had to marvel in the irony of his nonverbal response, “How the tables have turned,” Maisie said softly and she sat back on her butt again. Everything was starting to calm down with her. The air felt less tense and heated, like you could feel it vibrating. The sun’s warmth was slowly being brought back. Pieces of floating earth fell back to their rightful places on the ground. Maisie breathed in deep.

“Thank you,” now Ben was startled when he didn’t hear Maisie’s voice anymore, and it was just the tinny speaker. 

Maisie stood up and she walked over to Ben; she extended her hand out to him. Ben looked from the hand to Maisie, considering this as a trick of some kind. But he took it and she helped pull him to his feet. 

“This wasn’t the end of the training,” Ben finally spoke. 

Maisie smirked and she nodded, _I was hoping it wasn’t._ The speaker didn’t project anything that time. Maisie was still holding Ben’s hand from when she lifted him off the ground, and she let it go. She rubbed the back of her neck and started walking away, picking up her speaker on the way. 

Ben didn’t stop her. Hell, even if he wanted to stop her, he wouldn’t know what to say. He just kept watch of her until she was out of sight. 

“Maybe we’ll start much more basic next time,” Ben mumbled to himself.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the more self-indulgent in this series. Pure fluff. Honestly, it's also probably my favorite chapter lol

Maisie could barely sleep that night. She first thought that using the Force would drain her energy and make her have a night of amazing sleep, but she was wrong. Just feeling like she was heard was enough to keep her excited and mind-flowing about all the possibilities she just opened for herself with the ability to talk again! So, she maybe got an hour or two in before she eagerly got dressed and went to get breakfast. 

She saw Rose eating with some other crew and she plopped herself across from her friend. 

“Good morning, Maisie,” Rose smiled at her and the other people around also smiled and greeted, one introducing herself. 

“Morning,” Maisie carried the speaker on her belt. 

“Hey, you got something working! That’s great!”

“Temporary,” Maisie’s speaker said. 

She started to eat, being famished after skipping dinner last night. She reached in the back of her pants where sticking out was her notebook. She opened it up and quickly wrote down, _“Can I try something with you?”_

And she slid it to Rose. Rose read it and nodded, “Yeah, sure.”

“Relax,” Maisie’s speaker now said and Maisie tried the same technique from yesterday afternoon with Ben. She shut her eyes and took deep breaths. Rose wasn’t sure what to expect or what this was supposed to do. But she listened to Maisie and relaxed her body as much as possible, not speaking. 

When Maisie felt like it was right, she said, _Can you hear me?_

Rose didn’t answer her.

_Rose? Can you hear me? Say something if you can._

Again, silence. Maisie peeked an eye open at Rose. She realized she was looking crazy to the other friends at the table, all looking at her now. 

“Nevermind,” the speaker said, and Maisie looked disappointed. _Why didn’t it work?_

“Everything okay?” Rose now asked her. 

Maisie nodded her head and put on a smile, “Sorry,” a pause, “Fine."

Maisie immediately felt like Ben hexed her or something of that sort. Maisie finished her breakfast in silence and immediately made her way to Ben’s hut. 

She knocked on the door. She heard a quick scuffle-like sound and there was a small wait period before the door was pulled open. Ben was standing there, only pants on. He was breathing heavily and he looked sweaty.

“Oh, good morning,” he said. 

Maisie tried not to look at his glistening-with-sweat chest or abdomen as she said, _When can you train with me today?_ but her speaker only picked up, “Today."

She groaned and she focused on just the word, “Train.”

Ben looked at her and he noticed immediately she looked stressed. About what, he couldn’t yet pinpoint. Maisie raised her hand in the air and mimed talking. 

“You want… Oh, you just want to talk with me again?”

 _Not just with you. I want to be able to do this everywhere, with everyone._ But her speaker just said, “Yes.”

“I don’t really know how much I want to help you with that considering how badly you condemned me yesterday,” Ben started the sentence off as a joke but he finished with more of a bitter tone. She was right about everything. Absolutely right. It just hurt him to be chastised that strongly and repeatedly and by someone he very much cares about. He deserved it though. He was a brat in reacting this way.

“Want.”

Maisie stepped closer to Ben, looking up at him. _Just teach me again. I want to learn and master this._

“I wanted to backtrack and not start with that today—“

“What?” _What!?_

“Maisie, there’s a lot more to what happened yesterday than you know. I can’t do that all the time.”

“You?” _What do you mean you?_

“Come inside,” Ben sighed and he went back into his hut. Maisie followed him and she never took her eyes off him, clearly getting annoyed with him. 

“I have to initiate the link,” Ben began. He really didn’t want to explain why, fearing another lack of trust from Maisie. “Where you’re at right now, you are unable to access this communication link with anyone else, even me. If you tried right now to talk to me, it wouldn’t work. I have to start the conversation, I have to let you in. It’ll take so much more thought and training in order to get you to speak freely. Do you understand?”

Now that Ben explained it, Maisie understood. She was just overzealous. She nodded her head. So, this really would take time. The Force wasn’t on her side in a way she hoped. She touched Ben’s arm and she looked up at him, “Now?” _Can we talk now?_

Ben sighed and he scratched the top of his head. He nodded, “We can try it again. Just let me put some more clothes on.”

Maisie nodded and she stepped out of the hut. Today was a chilly morning, the sun not quite out. She rubbed her arms to keep warm as she walked about the property, looking down at her feet as she took steps and kicked sticks. 

“Are you calm and focused?” Ben asked from behind Maisie and she turned around. _Not yet, but I can be._

Maisie tried again, shutting her eyes, taking slow breaths. It was like meditation. 

“You’re stiff,” Ben admonished and came up closer to her, “You want it too bad.”

 _Why is it bad if I want it too bad? Isn’t that the whole point of the Force? A goal?_ “Why?"

“You’re frustrated already,” Ben said, “Come on,” and he started walking. Maisie groaned outwardly, not hiding her annoyance. She had too much of a good thing the day before and now she was spoiled. She craved it again. It was real human connection and she loved it, especially when she was letting Ben have it. 

“The Force is more than just that, you know.”

“I know,” the speaker spit out. 

“I helped you with that yesterday because I knew that’s what you wanted most. But you’re still potentially dangerous if you can’t control it.”

_But that’s never been a problem in the past. It’s literally only flared up after meeting you._

Ben made it to the same clearing as yesterday, just without the sunlight. Maisie sat down on the floor before Ben even said anything, feeling the dewy grass sink into her pants. She put her hands down on the ground, also feeling the moistness. Ben looked at Maisie and he sighed. He didn’t want her to get dejected over this. Yesterday, all the pieces just seemed to be aligned perfectly. Their connection was flawless. He tried to think about how to approach this. He wanted her to get to speak to him without being so drawn out from life around her. 

_“Maisie, can you tell me where you’re from?”_ Ben asked.

She looked up, the question surprising her. Maisie didn’t talk about her past. Ever. She tapped on the side of her head, just wanting to make the connection. 

Ben didn’t like her stubbornness. He walked closer to her and he sat next to her. 

“This was never supposed to be easy,” he reminded Maisie. When he got no response or reaction, he continued, “I ask where you’re from because I heard an accent in your voice yesterday. I didn’t recognize it.”

Ben still didn’t get her to look at him or get any kind of reaction. She was pulling the grass from the ground. Ben breathed out steadily, not stopping looking at her. He was in. 

“Go ahead, I’m listening.”

The voice sounded different and that’s when Maisie looked up at Ben. 

“I’m listening,” he repeated again and Maisie didn’t see his lips move. She huffed and smiled softly. She leaned into Ben since he was sitting so close, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“Lirra.”

“You told me you didn’t know anything about the Outer Rim when we went to Navarro.”

“I pretend well, huh?”

“Lirra is…” that’s when Ben figured it out, “You have a tattoo on your neck. I didn’t recognize it at first but now I do. You were a slave? But I thought the Republic abolished slavery by that point.”

Maisie really didn’t like talking about this, “Ben, I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” she pressed her forehead into his shoulder and she held his arm with her hand. 

Ben got bits of her life when he performed the mind probe. There was darkness and screaming and flashes of light coming up a lot in the depths of her brain. He had so many more questions now, though, trying to put the puzzle together, but he knew he didn’t have all the pieces. 

Ben rubbed Maisie’s arm, trying to comfort her. He couldn’t imagine her trauma. Well, maybe he could because there are parts of his years as Kylo Ren that he would never want to speak about.

“Do you want to learn about balance?” Ben tentatively asked.

Maisie lifted her head and looked at Ben. She smiled and ducked her face back into his shoulder, “I’ll remember that line for the ages. Smooth."

Ben chuckled and Maisie felt his upper chest rumble, “You’re much more sarcastic and foul-mouthed than I ever imagined.”

“So sorry that my droids can’t convey sarcasm. They also couldn’t yell when I wanted to yell, so you can imagine how frustrating that is.”

“I bet.”

Maisie smiled and she leaned off of Ben finally. She pulled an elastic band from her wrist and pulled her hair back out of her face, tying it up, “I always thought I was funny, but it just never translated.”

“You’re very funny,” Ben told her honestly.

“See, now I can’t tell if that was you being sarcastic, too.”

“Noho, that one was genuine,” Ben chuckled again. 

Maisie stood up and she looked down at Ben, “I’m sorry for acting so…”

“Don’t worry about it. I understand. You’re excited,” Ben also stood and he brushed his backside off, “Ready for balance training?”

Maisie nodded, “Yeah.”

“So, the first thing I learned about the Force from my uncle was that there are two sides, light and dark. And they have to live in balance or else the Force is off. There can’t just be light, and there can’t just be dark. To be one with the Force, you have to let both sides through you. You have to channel both. And it’s harder than it sounds because you won’t necessarily know what that feels or looks like.”

Maisie started to get a little nervous. She was open and ready, but this seemed like something way past her own capacity. 

“To get you to grasp the idea, come with me,” Ben started walking deeper into the forest. Maisie followed, swatting a bug that landed on her forearm. 

“Would killing a bug make me off-centered from the Force?”

Ben grinned, “No, I don’t think so.”

Ben stopped walking at another clearing, this one much different from the last one. Maisie leaned over the edge of a chasm between two chunks of land. She wasn’t stupid. She put together pretty quickly what Ben wanted her to do when she saw a very thin tree trunk extending from the side they were on to the other, creating a bridge. 

“No,” she said immediately. 

“You didn’t even try yet.”

“I’m not risking death for this.”

“You won’t die.”

“How do you know? My normal, on-the-ground balance has never even been that solid.”

“Maisie, calm down,” Ben was smiling this whole time, and he reached out and held her shoulders, “I’ll stop you from falling. The drop just adds to an incentive.”

“You’re insane and mean.”

Ben walked over to the log and he walked right across it, not looking down, not wobbling, not stopping.

“Showoff…” Maisie mumbled. 

“Now your turn.”

Maisie took a deep breath. It was very narrow. She’d balanced across rails before but it was just a train rail on the ground. She wanted to learn, so she put her worries aside just to try and attempt this. 

“You won’t fall,” Ben said to her. 

“Stop talking about it!” Maisie snapped.

Maisie put one foot on the log and she immediately felt it waver. She stepped back. _Nope! Can’t do it._

Maisie paced back and forth to build herself up for it and then finally put both feet on the log, taking meandering, teeny steps. It was like a shuffle to get across. Whenever the log wobbled, she whimpered, freezing up. Ben hid his grin behind his hand. This was genuine training. But seeing her like this was just funny. 

Maisie thought to herself, _Balance. Balance. If I keep my balance, everything stays fine._ And she took one of her biggest steps forward so far. On her third step, there was a bit of moss and Maisie’s foot slid out from under her and she fell right off the log with a scream. She thought she was dead but was stunned when she stopped falling. She opened her eyes and felt herself being lifted back up. Ben held her with the Force and rested her back on the other side of the chasm. 

“That was really good for a first try,” Ben shouted from across the gap.

Maisie’s heart was pounding. 

She stood back up and really just wanted to do this. She got back on the log and kept at a careful, calculated pace, making sure to focus on the log and any of its weak spots that could jeopardize her. But then she would focus on the seemingly bottomless drop and her stomach would do a flip. If only Poe could see her now. She knew he would never let her hear the end of this. The thought made her smile, if only briefly. And she made it halfway across before misplacing her foot. She clung onto the log, now hanging from it. 

“I swear I can hear you laughing! This isn’t funny!”

Ben sobered up and he walked across the log, pulling Maisie up again. But she was now holding onto him for support. 

“I wasn’t laughing at you. I just thought of something funny.”

“You’re a bad liar.”

Ben smiled wide and that made Maisie finally smile.

“You’re doing really great. But don’t think about the balance. Hey, don’t look at me like that—“ he admonished when she glowered, “Don’t focus on ‘I can’t fall.’ Focus on ‘I’ll just make it across’. There’s no tree trunk to walk on. It’s flat land. You are in control, you have support from every particle around you.”

When Maisie didn’t look overly enthused, Ben asked, “Do you trust me?”

Maisie hadn’t heard that for a little while. She had to trust him in this scenario, didn’t she? Maisie nodded and Ben left, going back to the other side of the chasm. Maisie wobbled when her support left her and she held her arms straight out. _Don’t think about the trunk?_

Maisie looked straight ahead, now deciding to focus on the flat, green grassy ground that Ben was on. She could see the ledge still, but she tried not to let that bother her. With her arms outstretched, she swore she felt tingles in her fingertips. Like a breeze was blowing right through them. She looked up above her at the tree canopies with swaying leaves. She could hear the rustling. Maisie walked forward. She knew where to put her feet, almost feeling like she was gliding. And before she knew it, she was on truly flat ground and she heard Ben clapping. 

“See?”

“Holy crap,” Maisie turned around and saw that she truly made it across the tree trunk. She only now realized how sweaty she was and her knees were shaking. She bent over to try and regain herself. 

“You felt it, right?” Ben asked.

“Yeah.”

“I could feel it from here. You have so much promise, Maisie.”

“I need a nap,” Maisie stood upright again and Ben chortled. Maisie looked to their left and saw another opening in the trees. She started walking towards it, not realizing it was the edge of a very large hill. But after that opening, the expanse in front of her was free of trees and forest. It was just open green fields. She could even see a yellow flower field in the far distance. The sun was peeking in and out of the clouds. Maisie took a seat at the edge of this hill, looking at the horizon. Ben emerged from the trees and took a look, as well.

“I always thought only Jedi or Sith could use the Force.”

“The Force doesn’t choose like that,” Ben sat beside Maisie again, “My mom wasn’t a Jedi. She was training to be one, but she never finished. But she knew the Force.”

Maisie looked over at Ben. She’d heard the stories of General Leia Organa. About how she was a princess fighting in a war with evil.

“I didn’t know that. Why didn’t she finish her training?”

“Because the rebellion was more important to her. She needed to be on the ground, strategizing. She couldn’t spend all her time training.”

“I served under your mom for many years. I never got to know her, but she was an excellent general.”

Ben smiled softly and then it was wiped away just as quickly as it came.

“When were you born during all of that? The early days?” Maisie asked, now wanting to get to know Ben Solo. 

“I was born on the day they officially ended the Galactic Civil War.”

“On the day the Concordance was signed?”

Ben nodded.

“Do you remember a lot from then? When you were young?”

Ben shook his head, “My first memory is of being sent away.”

Again, there were only so many stories Maisie heard in her lifetime. Ben Solo’s switch from child to dark side First Order leader was in the foggy realm of those stories. She didn’t know what happened. But she knew the Kylo Ren stories and atrocities. 

“Sent away where?”

“To train with my uncle to be a Jedi.”

Now Maisie knew there were some inconsistencies. He couldn’t have been sent away when he was young. In order for it all to make sense with the Jedi Massacre at Luke Skywalker’s training grounds, it had to be in his early teens at the earliest. He did have memories. He just suppressed them. Sounds familiar. Maisie didn’t want to judge him. 

“What if we just rolled down this hill?” Ben asked, changing topics.

Maisie furrowed her brow, “What?”

“Let’s do it.”

“Wh—Why? Do you think that’ll be fun?”

“What, you’ve never rolled down a hill before?” 

_Ahh, now the older memories are coming to the surface_ , Maisie thought. 

“No. It sounds dangerous.”

“It’s really not.”

Maisie leaned over and looked at the decline in front of them.

“It’s fun,” Ben urged, nudging Maisie.

“I didn’t know you knew what fun was,” Maisie teased.

Ben didn’t let that jibe affect him, so he continued, “You roll down and it’s like a competition. To see who can get to the bottom faster.”

“How do you roll down?”

“Like,” Ben laid down and crossed his arms over his chest, “And then you just roll yourself over. Gravity takes care of the rest.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Ben Solo?” Maisie teased again. 

“Okay, well, I tried. Now I get a head start,” and Ben flung himself over the side of the hill, making Maisie gasp. 

“Ben!” she looked over the side and saw him rolling like a log. She groaned but figured what the hell and she got into her own position, forcing herself off the edge. She was dizzy in a matter of seconds, hating Ben every second for making her do this (well, he didn’t make her, she rolled herself down the hill… but still). 

Ben reached the bottom first, head spinning but happy he got to do that. He looked up when he saw Maisie hurtling her way down the hill, but much less streamline than he did. She was going fast but didn’t hold a straight course. Ben realized too late when Maisie barreled into him and knocked him down onto his back again. 

“Ohoho my gohod!” Maisie whined but also giggled. She was dizzy and she was just laying flat on top of Ben. Ben was now laughing himself. 

Maisie turned her head to look at him. His dumb face with his big dumb nose, his hair looking all kinds of windblown.

“Youhu have such a dumb laugh,” Maisie giggled to herself.

“Way to make me feel self-conscious,” Ben ceased his laughing down to a chuckle. 

“Well it’s true!” Maisie retorted and then imitated his laugh surprisingly well, though emphasizing the goofiness of it a bit more. 

“That’s what I sound like?”

Maisie was laughing now and she nodded, “Yeahah.” She was still laying horizontally across Ben, not thinking of moving. 

“Yeahah?” now Ben was imitating Maisie and he felt bold, grabbing at her sides with his large hands and squeezing. Maisie squeaked and she immediately got off of Ben and started to scoot herself away from him.

“That’s unfair.”

“That’s unfair,” Ben made his voice higher pitched to mock Maisie. Truthfully, that was probably a horribly insensitive choice considering the woman wasn’t able to speak at all until very recently, even if it was just mentally. But Maisie just narrowed her eyes. 

“I don’t do these games. Poe does them all the time and it’s just annoying, so—“ the entire time she tried to talk over him, Ben was just repeating every word she was saying. 

Maisie felt like she had two options. She could pout and walk away, taking the higher ground. Or… 

She threw herself at Ben and started scritching and tickling all over his sides and belly. 

“Maisie! Wahahait!” Ben tried to keep his laughter in, but it was very difficult.

“Oh? What’s the matter now? Got nothing to copy me about?” now Maisie felt like she had the higher ground, most definitely. Maybe not morally, but power-stature speaking, absolutely. Maisie knew how to pin someone. She’d learned that from earlier days when she needed to do that in order to… well, anyway, she knew where to put her weight to keep someone else pinned down. And right now, she had Ben right where she wanted him. 

“Thihihis isn’t nihice,” she got Ben to snort when she went after his lower belly. 

“You didn’t seem to consider niceties earlier.”

Maisie was enjoying herself immensely. For someone who didn’t typically ‘have fun’, she couldn’t stop smiling and it was in very large part because of Ben’s laughing. It was so goofy and weird-sounding and out of character to hear him laughing this hard and loud. 

“Stohohohop!” Ben pleaded, trying to wrap his arms around his midsection to stop Maisie from tickling his ribs. 

“Oooh, am I making Ben Solo give up? That quickly?” 

Ben hated hearing her voice now because of all the teasing. It just made him blush more. Maisie took one of her hands away and started barely gracing her fingers along the side of his neck. Ben yelped and his head crashed down, squeezing Maisie’s fingers in between his shoulder and neck.

“Ahahawww,” Maisie cooed. 

Maisie finally figured she’d leave him alone, feeling like she ruined his dignity enough that day. She sat on the grass and watched him recover. 

“If you mention this to anyone…” Ben started in a warning tone of voice but Maisie just smiled and she laid down beside Ben.

“This can stay between you and me. A ticklish Jedi,” Maisie giggled. She was looking up at the mostly cloudy sky, looking at their curves and swirls and finding spots of blue from where the real sky wanted to shine through. 

Ben also resorted to staring at the sky, but that was mostly because he was afraid he’d fall in love if he took another look at Maisie. 

Maisie folded her hands behind her head and crossed her ankles, getting comfortable. The day had gotten warmer since this morning. And she wanted to bask in it. And now that she was properly tired, she could probably use that nap she mentioned needing earlier. Maisie closed her eyes. 

Ben kept looking at the clouds, tracking their movements through the sky. A slight breeze came and sifted through his hair. His mind brought him back to yesterday when Maisie kissed him. It wasn’t even him who initiated it, even though he’s been wanting to kiss her for so long. It was so sincere. It felt like love, at least to him. That’s about the extent he’s felt of it his whole life. She’d held his hand and wanted to sleep next to him the night she was drunk. As much as he wanted not to count that one, the thought still lingered. And just today she was leaning on his shoulder and tickling him… were these not signs? No… they weren’t. They couldn’t be. She was in love with Poe. That was the one thing he drew from her brain that stuck with him. That’s where his jealousy resided. 

Ben finally turned his head to look at Maisie. But beyond Maisie, standing upright, he saw the ghostly form of his mother. Ben stared right at her. She didn’t say anything. She was just looking at him with those knowing eyes of hers. He remembered his father joking about how he could never resist her because of her eyes. She was always right whenever she gave you that look, Ben recalled Han saying more than once. Leia still didn’t say anything. She didn’t even seem to move, apart from the wind making her dress billow. 

Ben looked back at Maisie. And when he looked back towards his mother, she wasn’t there anymore. Ben sat up and looked around, not seeing her anywhere. 

“Ben?”

Maisie’s soft voice resonated in Ben’s head and he looked over. She sat up, “Are you okay? You look…” she couldn’t come up with the word right away so Ben answered her.

“I’m okay. Thanks,” he stared at the now bare spot his mother was standing in. 

Maisie looked at him longer, carefully. He looked distant. She reached up and touched the back of Ben’s head, “You didn’t bump your head too hard on the way down here, did you?” she mostly joked, smiling at him. 

When Maisie touched his head he looked at her. He didn’t even fully absorb her joke. Maisie moved her hand to Ben’s forehead, “Seriously, you don’t look so good.”

Ben grabbed Maisie’s wrist and lowered her hand from his face, “I’m just tired. I’m tired,” he explained.

“Okay, then you should’ve just said that,” Maisie stood and she helped Ben also stand. 

“I think if we head that way we won’t have to climb up this steep hill. And we’ll just circle back around towards base,” Maisie explained. 

Ben nodded, going along with her. She was right. They walked side-by-side in silence. Maisie kept throwing glances at Ben out of the corner of her eye. He really seemed out of it. He was using the Force with her today, so she assumed that energy was expendable. Maisie reached her hand down and slid it into Ben’s hand. It surprised him and made him look at her directly. 

Maisie smiled, “I really tickled you too hard, didn’t I?” she giggled. 

Now Ben smiled. It was a bashful one, and he felt the tips of his ears heat up. 

“I didn’t mean to just completely knock you out,” she swung his hand gently while she held it. 

“I’ll be okay,” Ben allowed himself to hold her hand back, not just letting it hang limply in her smaller one, “Just wait till I get you back.”

Maisie gasped dramatically, “You wouldn’t dare!”

“I would.”

Maisie smiled and she said, “Okay, you deserve that much. But you’ll have to wait until all my scars are better. They’re located in pretty sensitive areas.”

Ben now smiled, just thinking about making her laugh hysterically, “Noted.”

They walked up a not-so-steep hill together and made it back to the base. Maisie let go of Ben’s hand and they had to cut through to get back towards her tent and his hut.

“You hungry?” Maisie asked.

Ben shook his head, “No.”

“Alright. Well, go get rest. Thank you for today. And for putting up with my attitude.”

“It’s an honor to work with you. A slight pain in the ass, but mostly an honor.”

Maisie chuckled and she slapped Ben’s arm with no malice, “Bye, Ben,” and Maisie waved, starting to walk in another direction away from him to get dinner from the dining hall. 

Well…

He was in love. 


	18. Chapter 18

Maisie trained with Ben for the next few days. Four, to be exact. When she wasn’t training, she’d routinely either work on her mini droid unit or work in the hangar fixing ships. They hadn’t heard any bad news about the big Outer Rim mission as of yet, so that made everyone feel better at the Resistance base. There was still tension, knowing the mission could go sour at any moment. But there were ample amounts of hope at the base. 

Maisie worked on better perfecting her ‘balance’ for two days of the training. And then Ben introduced a kind of technique of movements to get her to channel the Force. She was still working on those. Now that she could speak with Ben pretty regularly when he was around, her eagerness of learning how to actually use the Force was utmost. She wanted to lift things and move objects. But another thought intruded her mind when she was working on assembling the watch-like apparatus for her translation unit. She gathered her things and went to find Ben.

She found him sitting in his hut. 

“Do you have any friends, Ben?” Maisie asked him genuinely. 

Ben huffed and he grinned, “Do I look like I have friends?”

If the man wasn’t with Maisie, he was almost always most definitely alone. Someone could make a lot of money betting on his loneliness. 

“Can we skip training today?” Maisie boldly asked.

“And replace it with what? You need a break?” Ben looked up at her, sitting down at his bed.

“I think you need a break. Come and spend some time with me at the base. I can show you how I’m making my droid.”

Ben wanted to think his reputation was on a good path to getting a fresh start after his and Maisie’s successful mission, but he was too afraid to show his face often and willingly at the base. Even though Maisie was offering up spending time with her, he had a sneaking suspicion she had something else in mind. 

“Okay,” he said and laced up his boots before Maisie led him out. 

Maisie wasn’t exactly the epitome of extroverted, social prime at the base. She had few friends, too. So she was one to talk. But at least she had people like Poe, Rose, and Finn. And Ben now. Ben seemed to only have Maisie. But she was willing to expose Ben to a few of the crew members she at least was friendly with, if not total friends with. Maisie brought Ben to the workshop where she had her droid building station. 

“So, this is what I’ve got so far,” she explained, pulling out her bits and bobs. She also opened up her notebook to her planning pages. Ben took a seat on a stool and looked at what she was doing.

“The goal is that. Pretty cool if I can get it done, huh? That way it’s always on me, it’s compact, and hopefully, with a little extra work, it’ll be accurate. But hey, maybe I won’t even need this after we’ve spent enough time training together,” Maisie smiled at Ben and nudged his shoulder. 

“That’s the goal, isn’t it?” Ben showed her a smile in return, “Can I look at that?”

Maisie nodded, and she pulled out a few small tools and a pair of magnifying glasses she put on, tinkering with mechanisms she already knew how to work with. 

Ben studied her notes and her sketches. None of it made much sense to him. He glanced at Maisie as she worked but kept reading through the notebook. She not only had a multitude of droid ideas and designs in this but also what seemed to be thoughts of hers? Or maybe it was just scattered conversation fodder. The more Ben looked through the book, the more he started to think. He knew a droidsmith who wasn’t overly hard to find back when he was in the First Order. Maybe he’d be able to get him to give Maisie advice on how to finish and perfect her droid. That would make her so happy, Ben just knew it. He kept that thought in the back of his mind so he could work on putting it into action sooner rather than later. 

“Could you pass me the HL Welding Laser?”

Ben looked at Maisie and her comically enlarged eyes in those glasses and then looked around at the array of tools in front of him, “Umm…”

Maisie giggled, “I’m just testing you. It’s this one,” she reached across him and held it up, “You know, this thing’s meant for ship repair but I’ve found it does an awesome job of getting precise, clean welds in any metal. And I modified the tip so it’s small enough for my use.”

“Impressive,” Ben said. He had to smile, seeing how excited and passionate she was about droids. 

“You know, Han apparently helped lead a droid revolution on Kessel.”

Maisie looked up at Ben and she chuckled, “Whahat?”

“It’s true. He was with Lando Calrissian and a small crew and Lando had a L3-37 unit that had a mind of her own. And she freed all the droids at the mines and led a rebellion.”

“Really?” Maisie looked intrigued now, “That’s so amazing,” she scratched the back of her head, “But what did your dad have to do with that?”

Ben thought about it and he grinned, looking embarrassed, “I guess nothing. He just happened to be there.”

Maisie snorted and she shook her head, “Great story.”

“There’s the sarcasm again,” Ben remarked.

Maisie didn’t give him an answer and she went back to working on the inner mechanisms that could get her droid going. Ben watched her work but also stood up at one point to look around the workshop, never having been inside before. Maisie peeked up when Ben left to go exploring and she smiled, happy he was looking at things other than the forest or the inside of his hut. 

Ben saw a Gran species working in the back welding something large, shooting out a lot of sparks. The creature looked up when he saw Ben moving near him and he started yelling at him to stand back. He was a safety hazard.

“Sorry!” Ben quickly apologized and walked in the opposite direction. 

Maisie heard the little squabble and she grinned to herself. 

“Wanna try talking to someone?” Maisie’s voice rung in Ben’s head. 

“Yeah, well, not him.”

Maisie chuckled. Ben kept walking and he came upon someone wrestling with a larger droid who clearly didn’t want to be maintenanced. Ben cleared his throat and approached, “Do you need some help?”

“Yes, please!” the woman responded and Ben walked over, carefully avoiding the droid’s swinging arms. He pinned it so the crew member could work on it. She disabled his motor and he powered down.

“Geez! Thank you,” she wiped her brow.

Ben nodded, “No problem.”

Only as Ben was walking away did she recognize him as Ben Solo. Ben made it quickly back to Maisie.

“This is hard,” he complained silently in his head as he turned the corner to make it back to Maisie and stopped short when he saw she was listening to someone else.

“… yeah, just a little friendly game,” this scrawny male engineer said.

Maisie smiled and she nodded, pointing at Ben. She summoned him over.

“Yeah, if you wanna play, too,” the man said with a big smile, “All are welcome.”

Maisie smiled and she started packing up as the man walked away.

“What was that about?”

“We’re playing a team game.”

“Why?”

“Because I was asked.”

“So, how’d I get roped into it?”

“My request,” Maisie was ready to head out but Ben stopped her and pointed to her glasses still on her face making her eyes look huge, “Oh, thanks,” and she left them behind at the desk. Maisie also grabbed Ben’s hand and tugged him along, smirking at him all the while. When Maisie turned around but still was holding onto his hand, walking in front, Ben smiled. He never ceased enjoying how easily Maisie touched him. 

Maisie walked to the big field where troop training usually happened, but now there were some scattered spectators and a group of Resistance in the middle of the field. 

Maisie waved her hand at Snap who caught her eye. 

“You’re in?”

Maisie nodded and pointed at Ben, pulling him up in front of her. 

“Okay,” Snap didn’t seem bothered by Ben being there, only taking this as an extra challenge. 

“Everyone know how to play?”

“No,” Ben spoke up immediately, “What are we doing?”

“Kind of like a relay race,” Snap explained, “We got teams, some pairs. It’s a lot of running at first, passing on this baton to the members of your team. Then, we switch games to touch football. The winner of the relay picks their team.”

“Touch football?”

Snap rolled his eyes but he humored Ben, going to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders, leading him over to their setup for the races. Ben glanced back at Maisie, unsure about this. She just kept smiling at him and she waved. She looked over when she heard her name being spoken and she saw Rose, so she jogged to her.

“Hey! Teammates, right?”

Maisie nodded and she smiled brightly. One of Rose’s friends, Tito, was also on their first relay team. They were all relatively short so they’d have to work doubly hard to try winning. 

Snap regathered everyone and he started the first relays. Teams of two went first, and then three, and then the max of four. After everyone got the winners from each of those groups, the teams had to pick the best two and send them out for the final relay to conclude who won. The two-person winning team would be the captains in the touch football game. 

The groups of two went first. Once those winners were crowned, Maisie’s threesome was up next. She was up first, so she took off the minute the siren was sounded. She was just trailing behind the other four teams of three. She pushed herself and passed the baton to Rose. Maisie ran to the sidelines to cheer for her teammates. They came in third. Not very good, but at least not last place. She hugged and celebrated with her teammates. When groups of four were up, Maisie spotted Ben. He was on a team with three other male crew she didn’t fully recognize. He looked lost and unsure. Maisie grinned. She tried to see if she could channel her Force and she said, “Don’t mess up.”

Ben, in the distance though he may be, turned his head all around to look for the source of the voice. He saw Maisie and shook his head, a smile now on his face. 

“You’re mean to me.”

Maisie chuckled, excited to see how he’d do. 

Ben was up second on his team and when he received the baton, he took off like a bullet. Maisie, and pretty much everyone watching gaped as Ben caught up with and passed all the other teams’ runners, being the first to make it back to their next teammate. The teammate who went first practically jumped on Ben as he was congratulating him and telling him how amazing that sprint was. The same happened when each teammate subsequently had a great lead because of Ben’s speed. They all pretty much tackled him and slapped him on the back and ruffled his hair when they won. Ben was not used to all of this and he had to laugh softly, turning red. 

Maisie was happy for him. This is exactly the kind of thing she wanted him to experience. 

So, the races continued until finally Ben’s team had won. It was him and a blonde-haired pilot-in-training who completed the final lap that caused them to win. And now they would be captains on opposing teams. 

They went back and forth choosing teammates. 

“So, um, it’ll be great if you can just say your name when I point to you,” Ben said softly, still not overly confident doing this.

Maisie thought for sure Ben would pick her first. And then he didn’t. And then more and more people were chosen, and still not her. Maisie was one of the last five or six people left when the blonde pilot picked her. Maisie stared down Ben. He continued picking the remainder of his team but caught Maisie’s eye and grinned.

“I wanted to see how you play.”

Maisie rolled her eyes but a smirk crossed her lips. He was really getting the hang of this ‘having fun’ thing. She gathered on her team, which Rose and Beaumont were on. Snap was one of Ben’s first picks, so he was on that team. 

“I’m going to be completely honest, I have no idea what this game is,” Ben told his team the first minute they huddled up. He got a few laughs but Snap took the lead assigning roles and then explaining to Ben why that person would be good for that position. He needed Ben as a running back.

“Yeah, man, you like flew on the track before!” one of his relay race teammates said to him. 

“We’re gonna need you to get the ball and just run with it,” Snap said and the others agreed.

“Alright,” Ben nodded, “Then we have a pretty good shot at winning.”

His team cheered and they broke the huddle to get onto the field. Maisie’s team was on defense, which she wasn’t part of, so she sat back on the sidelines. She saw Ben on the field ready to play offense and she waved at him, smiling. He caught her eye and gave a small wave back, apparently not wanting to give away any ties with the other team. 

They kicked off and it was a mad scramble for the ball. Someone handed it off to Ben and the man ran for it. He darted through countless opponents and made it to the first goal of the game. Maisie shook her head, grinning. _He had to be using the Force,_ she thought. Her team went out on offense and Maisie utterly sucked. She knew she was never great at playing these games, having been forced to by Poe a few years back. But the experience was fun enough. And no one really got mad at you if you didn’t perform well. But Maisie mimed and tried to convince her team captain to put her on defense. She was strong and could hold her ground, she knew that much. She was put on next and she got on the field. She saw Ben in his position, ready to make another run his team was crushing them with. 

Maisie tried to think of a sneaky way she could distract him. Well, she couldn’t do much else with her Force abilities than speak to Ben. So she went with that. The ball was handed off and Maisie charged at the person opposite her to keep them at bay. She heard cheering and knew Ben had the ball. She whipped around and concentrated, “Ben! Look out!” 

Ben looked around for some incoming threat, even slowing down. But that just got him tapped in the back by Maisie’s teammate, ending the run. 

Maisie beamed and she immediately went to get into position for another run. Ben passed her as he was going to his own position and whispered in Maisie’s ear, “That wasn’t very sportsmanlike.”

Maisie shrugged, smirking. The next time, Maisie let out a shrill yell in her head, and it made Ben flinch but he found it in him to keep running. He made the goal and she groaned. Maisie kept thinking Ben was just lucky this wasn’t tackle football. Otherwise, people would be barreling into him left and right.

The game wore on and it seemed like a no brainer that Ben’s team was going to win. He was scoring them big points. Maisie was off on the bench for what was going to be the last run of the game. She kept her eyes focused on Ben. When he took off for a run, she felt her fingertips tingle. She lightly flattened her hand out on her lap and suddenly Ben face-planted into the ground. The crowd gasped and even Maisie did. She covered her hands over her mouth, but not out of shock like the audience. She was hiding her snickering. _I cannot believe that worked!_ she thought to herself. 

Ben didn’t know what he tripped on, but all he knew was that his face was full of dirt from hitting the ground so hard. As his teammates checked on him to see if he was okay, he brushed them all off, assuring them he was fine. But the game continued and Maisie didn’t try cheating anymore. Ben made the final goal of the game and his team swarmed him. He didn’t know what to do with all this positive adoration. No one was supporting him out of fear. This seemed all genuine. 

Maisie went off to also share congratulations with the winning team. Maisie made her way to Ben with some difficulty and gave him a hug from behind. Ben didn’t know who had grabbed him now until he looked down at the familiar hands around his waist.

“You’re still a big cheater, you know,” Ben said to Maisie through their Force wavelength. 

“Well, you’re too good at touch football for your own good.”

Ben was able to turn around and he wanted to tell her thank you but he was swept away by a lot of the men on his team, wanting to celebrate properly. Maisie chuckled and shook her head. This worked out much better than she hoped. She followed along for what was sure to be another night of drinking. 

Maisie grabbed herself a beer and hung out with a small group of women on her team, including Rose. She listened and chuckled when appropriate, used to this, having done it most of her life. Every now and again, she’d look over across the field and see Ben with his new rowdy friends. They were all reliving the best moments from the game, some even acting them out on each other. 

The night wore on and Maisie stayed with her group, drinking her beer. She was buzzed but not even close to how drunk she was the night of the bonfire. Her group slowly dispersed and Rose bid Maisie goodnight, being smart and wanting to actually be able to wake up the next morning. So, Maisie was left on her own, sitting in the grass. She listened to the chatter from other groups and most especially the laughter and yelling from Ben’s group. She could see even from a distance that Ben was having a little too much to drink. But his inebriated state worked wonders on his social skills because he was eagerly talking with the other men and apparently he was funny because they were laughing after things he said. Maisie also noted how a couple of the guys were jostling Ben and he would laugh. They were all too drunk to realize they were tickling him accidentally. 

As Maisie sat and watched, a feeling started to grow in the pit of her belly. She was getting… mad? Why? Well, first off, those men were treating Ben a little too rough for her liking. And she knew he could defend himself, so why didn’t he? And he was laughing… that really stupid-sounding laugh. _Well, at least I’m still the only one who knows he’s ticklish… Holy shit, am I jealous!?_

Maisie sat up and figured she’d go to bed. Now was the time. She went to throw out her empty beer bottle and then started walking away to her tent. 

_I’m not jealous, I’m not jealous…_ Maisie kept repeating to herself angrily. 

“Wait!”

_Ohhh no…_

“Hey, you’re gonna leave without even saying goodnight?” Ben ran up to Maisie and he walked with her.

“Goodnight,” and she walked faster.

“Hold on,” Ben chuckled, clearly very visibly tipsy, “I wanted to say thank you for doing this for me.”

“It was nothing you couldn’t have done on your own,” Maisie pointed out. 

“No no, I needed you,” Ben affirmed, nodding his head. He ran his fingers through his very unusually tousled hair. 

“Well, if you insist. You’re welcome,” Maisie said and repeated again, “Goodnight,” but again, the minute she tried to walk away, Ben grabbed her arm to stop her. 

“Maisie, I just wanted to say… you look really beautiful tonight.”

Maisie’s cheeks flushed dark red and her eyes went wide, “Thank you, Ben,” she answered, kindly and softly. She wasn’t looking any different than normal; hell, she probably looked worse after running around and sweating and sitting in the grass all day. He just kept gazing at her, not thinking it weird at all. When Maisie was going to attempt her third exit, Ben suddenly turned to the side and he vomited on the ground. Maisie jumped back so she wouldn’t get hit with any rebounds and she winced. 

“Let’s maybe just stop drinking for tonight.”

“Ugh…” Ben groaned when he finished, “I… I feel like I need a shower. Which way are they again? Everything looks different at night.”

Maisie sighed, not sure if it was a great idea for him to be showering at night while drunk. He was now slurring his words. 

“Come on,” she said gently and helped take him to the bathrooms. 

When they arrived, Maisie started running cold water in one of the showers. 

“Be careful,” she added and stepped away so Ben could get undressed. She only heard him stumble once while undressing, which was a good sign. Then she heard a yelp and she ran around the corner, thinking something bad happened, but she was quickly greeted by a naked, wet Ben standing outside the shower. She slapped her hand over her eyes, “Ben!”

“It’s really cold!”

“Yeah, you gotta get that stuff out of your system!”

“That— That doesn’t work though. It’s just a myth.”

“Well, then maybe it’ll freshen you up better.”

Ben seemed to just realize he was naked and in front of Maisie and he saw her covering her eyes, so he covered up with his hands.

“Can you make it a little warmer?”

Maisie sighed, “Well, then at least turn around or something,” and she approached with squinted eyes and mostly looking to the floor. She reached inside the stall and fixed the temperature.

“That should be goo— Ben!” Maisie stumbled backwards into the shower when Ben toppled over into her.

“I-I’m sorry!” he quickly apologized and tried standing up on his own. 

He was far too tall for Maisie to support him. _I knew this was a bad idea…_

“Ben, calm d— easy, Ben, easy. You’re alright,” Maisie quickly switched to try and nurture him, as it seemed he had a dramatic mood swing. He kept mumbling how he was sorry, how he hated feeling like this; it was just a lot of negative energy. But Maisie was still standing there, shower water soaking her entirely clothed body, looking up at a still very much naked Ben Solo. She touched his arm, making sure he knew she was still there. 

“You think you can handle a shower?” Maisie asked without any teasing. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I can,” Ben finally seemed to focus his eyesight and looked down at Maisie. He smiled and shook his head, water droplets falling off the ends of his hair, “You’re so wet.”

“Soho are you, jackass,” Maisie teased and she tried scooting around him so she could leave him to it. 

Maisie finally got out and she pulled the curtain over the stall. She shook out her own hair and shivered, not knowing quite what to do about her own wet state. She decided why not go with it and undressed, knowing she needed a shower after today’s activities, too. So, hoping Ben wouldn’t notice, she undressed and hopped into a stall at the other end of the shower room. She gave herself a quick rinse and soap, wanting to be finished quickly in case Ben needed help. She wrapped one of the larger towels around herself to make sure everything was covered up and she padded over to Ben’s stall.

“You okay?”

“Hm? Yeah,” Ben answered back, still slurred. He must’ve just been distracted by the water. 

Maisie took a seat at the edge of the big hot tub that was usually used by Resistance for rehabilitation, loosening muscles and such. She stuck her feet in and waited for Ben. Finally, after what seemed like far too long, the water turned off. Maisie looked behind her to ensure Ben made it out safely, which he did. She turned back around just as quickly again, not wanting to see naked Ben. 

As she sat there, she reflected on her earlier thoughts. If she didn’t want Ben to enjoy spending time with other people, then why did she bring it up in the first place? Well, she didn’t quite think it would affect her emotionally as much as it did. If he kept up his friendships after this night, then he would be more popular than she was around the base. And again, she was left lonely. She knew it was because of her disability. She really fucking couldn’t stand it anymore. Maisie embraced her muteness, she really did. She learned and adapted to it after many years, and even begun to love herself for it, thinking of herself as special and unique. Resilient, especially. But with everything going on and now being able to speak with only Ben, she felt like she was on the precipice of a breakthrough. She was one step closer to being… normal. Maisie immediately hated herself for using that word. She never was normal. She didn’t have a normal upbringing, even before the muteness. She shouldn’t strive for normal, either. Because normal was kind of boring. Maisie sniffled and wiped her eyes. She shouldn’t be selfish with Ben. That man had much more to work for to prove himself than she ever did. 

“You’re very quiet,” came Ben’s voice from behind her and Maisie didn’t really react. Ben took a seat next to Maisie at the edge of the large hot tub and also stuck his legs in, letting out a sigh. Thankfully, he had wrapped a towel around his waist. He took a look at Maisie, her face mostly shrouded by her wet hair. But he could see the tear streaks and the tip of her red nose. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Maisie shook her head and made sure to wipe all the tears from her eyes and face, though it was getting harder to do that when more kept pouring out. _It’s the damn alcohol…_

Ben couldn’t come up with anything witty to say at the moment. In his current state, he only knew how he felt. So he said it, “Whatever’s bothering you, it doesn’t make me think any less of you. I’m here for you, Maisie. I love you.”

“Ben,” Maisie blurted out right into the most alert part of Ben’s mind and she looked at him, shaking her head. 

“I do.”

“N-No, Ben. No, it’s the alcohol, trust me.”

“Maisie,” Ben grasped Maisie’s wrists and he pulled her closer to him. She didn’t know what she felt. She saw that he was going in for a kiss. But something in Ben must’ve seen her eyes and even into her soul. She didn’t want that. Ben stopped and he just hugged Maisie. Maisie fell into his embrace and clung onto him, as well. Maisie was now wracked with gasps and shudders between small sobs she was letting out. She didn’t even know why she was crying anymore. And Ben just held her. He rested his chin atop her head and even rocked her slowly. 

Time passed normally. Maisie’s sobs died down to sniffles, which died down to deep breaths. 

“Thank you,” Maisie whispered, and lifted her head from Ben’s chest, looking up at him. She pulled her feet from the hot water and made to stand up. Ben followed her and wobbled a bit, holding his head. Maisie grabbed the hand not pressing into the side of his dizzy head and said, “I’ll take you home.”

Ben complied. Maisie gathered up both of their clothing and belongings and hefted them into her arms. She walked out with Ben onto the base, both barefoot and wearing only towels. That surely defeated the purpose of getting clean in the first place, but who cared anymore. Maisie escorted Ben to his hut and she hung his clothes up neatly. She made sure he got into the bed and then she cupped his cheek in her hand.

“Thank you for everything,” she smiled and she gave Ben a kiss on his cheek. Then she headed out with her own wet belongings held in her hands. 

Ben just sat at the edge of his bed, staring at the spot where Maisie last was. Now _he_ felt like crying. It was deflating to tell someone he loved them, opening himself up like that, making himself vulnerable. And for her to not reciprocate… he should’ve expected it, he knew all along where her love really lied. He wouldn’t be making himself vulnerable anytime soon. Not for anyone. Not Maisie, either. He laid back in his bed and fell into a restless, dream-filled sleep. 


	19. Chapter 19

Maisie slept in late the next morning. She also had a beautiful sleep! Not a dream to be had and she didn’t even stir in the middle of the night to pee. She woke up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. She was willing to put yesterday’s drunken happenings with Ben behind her and move fully forward. She got dressed and instead of leaving her curls to do whatever they pleased, she wrapped them up prettily with a scarf. And she even added a pair of earrings. _New day, new me,_ Maisie picked this as her mantra for the day. She wore fresh overalls and a white tank top beneath them. When she exited her tent, the sun was beaming and warmth engulfed her entire body. It made her smile. She set up her still one-word speaking translation unit and brought it with her as she got breakfast— well, lunch, by now. 

She collected her food but as she was grabbing the last pickle from the food selection, someone came up to her, “Hi, um, you’re friends with Ben, right?”

It was a young pilot trainee; she recognized him from the games yesterday. She nodded her head. 

“Okay, so… man, this is gonna sound weird… did you and Ben... _you know_... last night?”

“You know?” the speaker asked, Maisie’s own face adding to the question inflection.

“Yeah,” the kid glanced backwards. That’s when Maisie spotted a table of snickering cadets and trainees. She narrowed her eyes. 

“You had to. You two left with towels on.”

_What I do and what I wear is absolutely none of your business! You should be ashamed for even thinking that with your perverted friends._

“No,” came out of the speaker and she stormed off with her food on her plate, not feeling like eating in the cafeteria after that. 

_I just wish Poe were back…_ Maisie thought to herself, setting up her food at an empty outdoor worktable. _We would have lunch together and he wouldn’t make me feel uncomfortable like those little gremlins… Hell, even Ben would stick up for me._

Maisie ate because she was hungry, not letting that gross encounter stop her appetite. 

Maisie finished her meal and sat looking at her pre-droid speaker for a few minutes before she saw a few crew running in the same direction. She watched and soon realized they were holding a meeting. 

“Nothing serious,” Beaumont reassured her when he came up behind her in the gathering crowd, “Probably just a supply run.”

“Now that I have everyone’s attention,” a leading lieutenant general started the meeting, “We’ve received word from the Outer Rim squadron. They’ve suffered zero losses and have thus far taken out half of the First Order remnants we have locations for,” this earned a round of cheers and applause from the crowd, “But they’re traveling between sectors now, unable to take refuge on any of the planets. We need to conduct a supply run.

“How many ships, lieutenant general?” Snap inquired.

“We’re willing to send two. Each needs a pilot and a copilot and a handler. We’re willing to send our pilot trainees on board as copilots if they so volunteer. We’re short on large cargo pilots currently.”

“I’ll take one vessel, ma’am,” Snap raised his hand. A cocky-looking trainee agreed to be copilot. And Snap and the trainee chose a handler for their ship. 

The other ship had a few volunteers from trainees all wanting to fly. Maisie raised her hand for being handler for that crew. But there was still no pilot. 

“Is Ben Solo around?” the lieutenant general asked.

“Yes,” Maisie’s speaker answered.

“Would you inquire with him his interest in flying a ship for this mission?”

“Yes,” Maisie ran off to do that as quickly as possible. She made it to Ben’s hut only slightly out of breath but she knocked. She didn’t hear anyone inside. She knocked again, but nothing. She groaned, not in the mood to go on a wild goose chase. She stood still and shut her eyes. Could she now lead the link? Even without knowing where he was? The hairs on the back of her neck bristled with a breeze. 

“Ben?”

“Good afternoon,” she heard. She opened her eyes but no Ben. 

“Where are you? They’re asking for you to carry out a small mission.”

“Did you offer me up again?”

“No, this time the lieutenant general did.”

Ben emerged from behind some trees. He looked broody today, much opposed to Maisie’s bubbly demeanor and attire. She smiled when she saw him. 

“Feeling okay after last night? No headache?”

“What’s the mission?”

Maisie was taken aback by his abrasiveness, “Supply run for the main crew at the Outer Rim. They’re temporarily traveling between sectors and they don’t have clearance to land anywhere for supplies or fuel. We’re bringing it to them. They need a pilot.”

“When are they leaving?”

“Didn’t say. I’d assume soon.”

“I’ll do it,” Ben walked right past Maisie to go to his hut. She made a face. She expected at least a comment on how she was dressed today. But no, nothing. She returned back to base to report that he was on board. They got cracking almost immediately. Dozens upon dozens of crew worked to carry loads of supplies (food, water, tools, weapons, clothes, fuel, etc.) onto the two cargo ships. 

Of course Ben noticed how she looked today. She looked gorgeous. He could see her beautiful eyes and her cute forehead better with her hair pulled back like that. He suppressed all emotion he could muster because he needed to revert back towards old Ben Solo if he wanted to not get hurt. But he also wanted to be welcome at the Resistance base. He needed to walk a fine line. 

Ben’s shitty attitude, those dicks at lunch, and lugging boxes and boxes of heavy supplies could not dampen Maisie’s spirit that day. She did everything with a bounce in her step and a smile on her face. She was also happy to do a supply run. She liked these. And as a plus, she had a chance of seeing Poe. Maybe she could pull him aside and try to talk to him. Yesss, she knows she doesn’t have the ability yet. But she also knows she loves Poe, so maybe added emotional intention could bond them the same way the Force bonded her and Ben. 

The sunset came and went, and a cool darkness was spread all over Ajan Kloss on the Resistance base. Maisie hummed a song as she practically skipped back to her tent for the night. _Oh shit, right,_ she caught herself before she entered her tent. She was supposed to brief Ben. They were going to leave early the next morning. 

Maisie found it strange why the whole base tolerated Ben’s antisocial ass when it came to missions. He already established himself after the last one as trustworthy and talented, so why didn’t they hold him to the same standards as everyone else? He should be at the briefings and planning all the time. Maisie shouldn’t be his errand girl. 

“Ben!” Maisie called out boisterously, hoping he was at least awake. And if he wasn’t, that was sure to wake him. Ben heard Maisie’s voice ringing in his head. And she sounded happy. Oh boy, he didn’t know if he could handle happy Maisie right about now. He opened up his hut door before she even knocked and she looked up at him. 

“Ben, your hair is wavy today. I like it, it looks nice,” she pointed out, hoping he’d be in a better mood now.

“Need something?”

“Yes, I have your briefing materials, sir,” she saluted him, smirking to herself. _Nothing? Not even a little smile?_

Ben jerked his head and motioned to inside, letting Maisie in. 

“I feel like this is all we ask each other, but, are you alright? Something’s bugging you.”

“I’m perfectly fine,” _good answer,_ Ben thought to himself. Now that would introduce his new demeanor so Maisie would get the hint.

Maisie sat on his chair low to the floor and got comfortable. The fire wasn’t on, so it felt colder and less homey in the little hut. 

“Come on, sit,” Maisie urged, “I won’t bite. Maybe,” she teased. Again, no reaction. Ben sat down at the edge of his bed. 

“I’m listening,” he spoke softly, not looking at Maisie. She was still dressed like earlier and it was bugging the hell out of him. 

Maisie delivered her briefing with all the seriousness and professionalism she could muster. She didn’t make one joke, not even an obvious one about the bananas they were shipping off and their sizes. 

“Thank you,” Ben said when she finished, “You can go.”

Maisie frowned deeply for the first time that day since in the food hall. She stood up and plopped herself down next to Ben. 

“I’ll cut the act, I swear. No jokes. What’s the matter?” she asked, really concerned. She moved her head so she could better see his face but he turned away. This behavior was very familiar to her. It was like she was trying to talk with herself when she would be stubborn and finicky. 

“Ben, don’t make me never talk to you again,” she threatened, trying to put on a goofily serious voice, “I will do it, I swear.”

Still no reaction. 

“You’re trying to hold it together,” Maisie had to let herself chuckle. She leaned in and rested her chin on Ben’s shoulder the same time her fingers started wiggling on his sides and belly, “Come ooon…”

Ben flinched and he grabbed Maisie’s wrists a bit rougher than he should’ve and stared at her, “Maisie, please.”

Maisie made eye contact with Ben and she furrowed her brow, “Please what?” he sounded so desperate it got her to worry more.

_Please stop making me fall more and more in love with you every time I see you._

“Just… don’t. I’m not in the mood.”

Maisie tilted her head, trying to study Ben’s face long enough to get a read on what made him behave like this, “Is this because of last night? I’m sorry if I came off as too needy, it was the drinks, I didn’t—“

“No,” Ben stopped her, “It wasn’t that, don’t ever blame yourself for that.”

“Then what, Ben? Why won’t you talk to me? It's like a switch was flicked overnight!” Maisie was trying not to get angry. Her voice read pure concern, “What you told me last night, that you’ll always be here for me. Well, I’ll always be here for you, too.”

He couldn’t tell her. Of course he couldn’t. His plan to distance himself again was not going smoothly at all. But did she really not know? He confessed his love to her, he really said it. He showed it in everything he did for her. But she couldn’t see that now. 

“I just need to be alone,” was Ben’s answer, and he was very unhappy with how his voice cracked. 

Maisie seemed to have made up her own mind, “Okay. We’ll be alone together. I’m sleeping here tonight.”

“Maisie—“

“Don’t Maisie me! This is for your own good, Ben Solo,” she stood up and marched out of his hut, going to retrieve some blankets and pillows from her own tent. The last thing Ben needed, in her opinion, was more alone time. The man had been alone most of his life, and most of his time at the Resistance base.

Ben was soft for Maisie. He’d always be. He couldn’t _not_ be vulnerable with her. It was a flaw. That’s why he didn’t just scream at her to never see him again. Ben figured he was stuck, so he might as well succumb. He got ready for bed. 

Maisie nudged open the door with her butt since her hands were full coming into the hut. She plopped her things on the ground and started to organize them into a makeshift bed for herself. 

“And before you say anything because I feel it penetrating the air in this room, you’re sleeping on the bed. No if’s, and’s, or but’s,” she poked Ben’s belly for emphasis since that was closer to her height than his chest. Maisie then sat on her blankets and started to get herself ready for bed. 

Ben lifted his legs onto his bed and pulled the blanket up over himself. He laid on his side, watching as Maisie removed her earrings and scarf, laying those aside. She kicked off her moccasin shoes and then started coming out of her overalls, leaving her in her tank top and her underwear. She fluffed out her hair after it being in that scarf all day, and she laid down, pulling more than one blanket over her body. She looked like she was wrapped in a cocoon. That’s the first time she looked up at Ben and saw him looking back. She showed him a small smile. 

“Sleep well, Ben.”

“You too,” he said in return to her. He watched her close her eyes. 

He wondered what Maisie would dream about. Would it be about him? Or Poe? Or something about her past? He couldn’t tell. But he hoped since she had such a good day that those good feelings would leak into her nighttime fantasies and give her a great sleep. Little did he know that Maisie was wishing the same for Ben’s sleep. 


	20. Chapter 20

Ben did have a dream that night. It was nothing unlike any other dream he’d have, where he’d imagine himself walking through the halls of a First Order ship. Some dreams would have him slashing down stormtroopers as he walked, but not this one. The hallways were empty. He could see from this first-person POV that he was holding his lightsaber out and ready. As he walked, he heard quick snippets of different voices. It was like they were speeding past him and he only was able to catch glimpses. Some of the voices he swore he knew. He heard Leia, Han, and Luke. He heard Snoke and the Emperor. He heard Rey. And Rey spoke the longest. But he couldn’t make out her words, only sounds coming out of her mouth that she seemed to think were words. But those sounds quickly morphed into a more familiar sound. The scene shifted abruptly. It was bright. All around him was bright. He would blink slowly and with every blink, everything would come into more focus. He was sitting next to Maisie. She wasn’t in her usual overalls, but she was wearing what she went to sleep in that night. Ben was just watching her. She was sitting on green grass and looking off in the distance. Then something was said that made her laugh and she turned her smiling face to Ben. There was a quick cut to a closeup of her face. “I love you,” dream Maisie said, green eyes not looking away from Ben, her smile showing off her beautifully slightly crooked teeth. And then Ben opened his eyes.

It was going to be dawn in a few minutes, he could tell by the light blue hue all around his hut. Ben heard snoring and he looked down at Maisie. She had kicked off most of the blankets in her sleep, revealing her tan, smooth legs. Ben could see scars and some faded bruises littered about her legs. Ben just wanted to take her to a shoreline somewhere where they would not have a care in the world and they could live out the rest of their lives in peace. And all Maisie would have to wear all the time were those clothes: a shirt and underwear. No need for pants or shoes where they would be. 

Maisie rolled over onto her stomach in her sleep and Ben looked away, trying to get some more rest so he didn’t look at Maisie’s butt. He still wanted to keep some remaining credibility and decency. He rolled over so he faced the wall instead, making sure he would resist the temptation. 

Suddenly, a loud, blaring alarm went off inside Ben’s hut and he jumped up, ready to get into battle mode, summoning his lightsaber into his hand. Maisie also shot up and she scrambled around in her things, “It’s okay!” she let Ben know before she pulled out her speaker droid and tapped something on it so it stopped beeping.

“Wh— What does that mean?” Ben asked, sheathing his lightsaber.

“Sorry, sorry. I set an alarm for sunrise so I knew I’d be ready to go for the mission.”

“You’re going?”

“Yes,” Maisie looked at Ben, “I’m on your ship. I didn’t mention that yesterday?”

“I guess not,” Ben laid back down and rubbed his eyes, that alarm startling him and rattling him. Not a very pleasant way to wake up. 

“Sorry,” she apologized again, feeling bad for scaring him. 

“It’s okay.”

“You slept well?” Maisie asked Ben as she stood up and stretched, getting out all the kinks in her back and shoulders and neck. Ben tried to focus on the ceiling while she was stretching.

“Yeah.”

“I slept great, too, thanks for asking,” Maisie grinned and she slipped into her overalls, “Come on,” she went over and pulled the blankets off of Ben, “Let’s get going."

Ben rolled over and he smiled softly, unable to help himself. He’d been doing a good job keeping up his stern persona. But he figured because of the early morning haze and because of the dream he had, he was softening up again. 

Maisie glanced over at Ben as she was gathering up her things and she smiled sweetly at him, “Don’t think I don’t see that smile. You were just having a grumpy day, huh?”

Ben tried to hide the blush in his cheeks but he stood up out of bed to get ready to leave. 

Maisie was smiling at Ben as he pulled on a jacket and laced up his boots. She knew something was going on inside of him, and she only wanted to help. They left together and Maisie stopped at her tent along the way to neatly return her pillows and blankets. She also grabbed a duffel bag of things she could work on during the trip for her droid. 

“You know, I was thinking,” she was mentally speaking to Ben as they walked together to the hangar, “Technically, if I can get this thing to work, it wouldn’t be a droid, would it? It won’t have any sentient abilities. So I’m just making a machine. Kinda loses its luster, huh?”

Ben didn’t answer her and kept his eyes ahead of him. After this pause, he eventually said, “I think anything you build will still be impressive, droid or not.”

Maisie smiled and she ducked her head, “Thanks.”

They made it to the hangar and Ben was introduced to his copilot, a very serious-looking young woman with straight black hair pulled back into a tight bun. 

“They should get along swimmingly,” Maisie assumed she thought that to herself until she heard Ben’s voice in her own head respond with, “I heard that.”

Maisie blushed and she went about her own duties seeing over the checklist of items she would be responsible for handing over to the troops. They took off in their large cargo ship and Maisie only briefly stayed up front to watch the takeoff. Then she went to sit with the supplies, finding a little nook for herself to get comfortable and start doing some more work. When Maisie did all she could do, which took a number of hours, she slumped in her little makeshift space and nodded off. 

“Maisie,” a man’s voice and a shake of her shoulder woke her who knows how much later. It was Ben when her eyes adjusted and she rubbed them. _We’re here?_ her connection wasn’t very strong yet. 

Ben tried not to make it look like he’d been staring, which he wasn’t. He kept speaking even though she didn’t, “We’re almost there. Maybe 10 minutes out. Just wanted to make sure you were ready.”

“I’ll be ready,” even in her head voice that Ben heard, she sounded groggy. He may have found a new favorite Maisie. 

“Maybe splash some water on your face,” Ben stood up and he made his way back to the cockpit. Maisie sighed and she stood up, the bits and bobs on her lap clattering to the ground. She stretched before gathering everything up into her bag. Then she started readying the supplies for transport. Soon enough, the ship ceased moving and even rocked a little as it made contact with the other Resistance ship. The back engagement door opened up and Maisie started lifting and stuffing supplies through to the ship. The first thing she lifted allowed her to enter the other ship and she looked around for Poe. She knew even the X-wings had docked inside their bigger transport ships to save fuel when they weren’t fighting, so he had to be in here somewhere. This was his ship’s transit number. 

Maisie spotted Finn and Poe talking animatedly to each other on the main deck. She smiled to herself, happy to see them. Poe cupped Finn’s cheek and he was grinning that dumb flirtatious grin he sported whenever he showed he was… _into someone…_

Poe and… Finn!? Maisie knew they were good friends from the war. She saw how close they got so quickly. But Poe was handsy with literally everyone. Maisie shook these thoughts from her mind and approached the pair. Finn noticed her first and he smiled, “Well, look who it is.”

Poe looked next and he beamed, running up to Maisie and practically lifting her smaller body up in his arms in a big hug, “Hey, Mais. Good to see ya,” he set her down and just kept smiling. 

_You too_ , Maisie mustered, but it didn’t seem to register with Poe. _Stupid training. I should be able to do this._

She hugged Finn next and Finn said, “So you’re the first supply run?” She nodded her head. 

“Take a walk with me, I’ll give you updates,” Poe wrapped his arm around Maisie’s shoulders and guided her through the hallways of the ship as his crew went in and out of Maisie’s cargo ship to load the supplies onto theirs. 

Poe talked about their strategies and how they so effortlessly took out half the First Order in the Outer Rim already. When they got to a quiet corner somewhere in the very bustling ship, Poe stopped walking and turned to face Maisie. 

“Mais, I wanted to tell you. We found strong First Order presence in Lirra,” he treaded these waters very carefully, already seeing the fallen look on Maisie’s face, “And we sent a recon crew of two out there to observe the place. They said the slave trade is still rampant out there, despite the Concordance. They’ve been keeping it on the down-low but now it’s like no one’s been monitoring them. I wanted to let you know we’d be hitting them, hard. We can’t upend that system all on our own. It’ll take a lot. I know you know that, I’m just… I want this to be a victory for you,” Poe saw Maisie’s eyes well with tears and he reached over and cupped her cheeks. The first tear that spilled, he wiped away with his thumb.

Maisie just nodded her head, not knowing what to say. She didn’t take her green eyes off of Poe’s. He knew her past more than anyone alive. He knew what this would mean to her. 

_I bet it’s the fucking First Order who took part in slave ownership and trade on that Godforsaken planet._

_Wipe them out._

Maisie leaned up and she threw her arms around Poe, hugging him tight. She took a shaky breath. Poe hugged her back and kissed her cheek, giving her one last squeeze just as crew echoed that they cleared the first ship of its supplies. 

“Time to go,” Poe articulated and he smiled at Maisie, leading her back to her ship. She gave Finn a hug and then Poe one more. _Please be safe._ Poe kissed the top of her head and bid her goodbye. 

Maisie walked back into her original ship and watched as the door closed safely before they moved away to make room for Snap’s ship to deliver the remainder of the supplies they needed. Maisie ran to the side of the ship where there were small slits of windows for viewing and she watched as the ship receded into space. Maisie stood in the now empty rear of the cargo ship and looked around. She knew there were seats up in the cockpit but she didn’t feel like being around anyone else for the time being. She needed space to clear her head. So, Maisie took a seat in the corner and stared off into the distance, eyes not focusing. 

The ship soon broke through the Ajan Kloss atmosphere. Maisie only knew because of the sharp twinge of light hitting her in the eye through the window. They’d been away a whole day in space time. That never failed to make Maisie marvel at the galaxy, how time passes so differently. She stood up and collected her things, ready for landing. They landed and Maisie couldn’t wait for the door to open so she could go home. 

“Successful mission, I’d say,” a voice came from beside Maisie and she glanced at Ben. She nodded. 

“You okay?” he must’ve noted her demeanor as unusual. 

_I just don’t feel like talking._

The door opened and once the ramp hit the ground, she took off, taking big strides and not looking anyone in the eye. Maisie headed straight for her tent and ducked inside it, taking a deep breath. It genuinely felt like there was more air here in her little tent than in all of the ship (honestly, she knew oxygen levels on the ships were never peak, she’d worked on too many). She undressed and laid down in her bed, ready for sleep. 

Just as she’d been laying for a few minutes in her tent, in broad daylight, mind you, she heard footsteps in the dirt a little too close for her comfort. 

“Maisie?” she heard.

She sighed and sat up, crawling over to undo her tent entrance. Then she sat back in her bed. Ben crouched down and peered inside. 

“It’s the middle of the day. Are you feeling sick?” he lost sight of her the minute they landed and got off the ship. Ben, still not wanting to make himself fully vulnerable to Maisie again, couldn’t help but act concerned for her.

Maisie shook her head. 

Ben hadn’t heard her voice in over a day, “You… I’m guessing you don’t want to train tod—“ Ben didn’t even finish what he was saying before Maisie shook her head again, more deliberately. She wasn’t even looking at him, folding a piece of her sheet between her fingers. She took another breath and forced herself to make the connection with Ben. 

She asked, “Can you train me in combat?”

“What you— I mean, they have trainers for that at the base all the time.”

“Forget it, then. Goodbye—“

“No, I can do that. If that’s what you want, I’ll train you.”

Maisie nodded. She now looked at him, her eyes imploring Ben to leave. Ben didn’t get the memo immediately. He just stared back at her, wanting to know what was working in her mind at the moment. But he couldn’t figure it out. The mission went very well. No hitches. But something must’ve gotten to her. Ben slid out of the tent and left her alone.

Maisie laid back down and now stared at her notebook laying on the ground beside her. She blinked slower and slower until she allowed herself to shut her eyes and fall asleep completely. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This installment includes an attempted assault and some violence.

Maisie slept through the day and woke up in the early part of the night. She felt gross and sticky because the planet had become increasingly humid over the course of the day. She needed a shower. Maybe a long one. Why not, she’d treat herself. Maisie gathered a change of clothes and easy-off shoes and made her way to the showers. She heard a few stalls going but it was mostly barren. As Maisie set her things down in a locker, she saw the hot tub was empty. She tapped her foot on the ground, contemplating if that’s what she wanted to do… she figured hearing what Poe said today (and seeing him with Finn like that) put a lot of unwanted stress on her so yes, she needed the extra relaxation. Maisie walked over to the pool, completely undressed, and slipped herself in. She let out a very audible sigh and succumbed to the warmth and the bubbles, sinking in up to her chin. 

Maisie literally almost fell asleep again until she heard and felt someone else get in with her. It was another female whom she’d seen around the base, but never really spoke to. The woman smiled at Maisie and she smiled back out of courtesy, but she sat up straighter in the pool.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to disturb you.”

Maisie shook her head, _No, it’s fine._

“What’s your name? I can’t help but think I’ve seen you around.”

Maisie shook her head, knowing she wasn’t about to attempt to make a connection with her. She tapped her throat as an explanation and an apology. 

“Oh! I’m sorry. Your name is Maisie, right?”

Maisie nodded. She guessed the ‘mute girl’ moniker was more popular than she thought. She pointed to the young woman now.

“I’m Charlize.”

 _Pretty name,_ Maisie smiled, _And you’re extremely pretty._

“I don’t know why you would know me. I’m a historian. Our paths wouldn’t normally cross a lot,” Charlize continued to talk. Maisie nodded, listening to her. She didn’t know why she attracted this sudden interaction, but she welcomed it. It got her mind off a lot. 

“So… I don’t mean to pry so much… but you’re good friends with Ben Solo.”

Maisie was surprised by this sudden shift in conversation but she shrugged, nodding. 

“What’s he like? I mean really. Because he seems seriously unpleasant to be around. With that aura of his and knowing all he’s done.”

Maisie furrowed her brow a little bit, letting her displeasure of that comment show, _He’s normal. A bit awkward, a bit broody, but very sweet… I should let him know he has a fan._

“I know! I know,” Charlize chuckled to herself, wetting her hands in the water and running her fingers through her hair, “The man just fascinates me. I mean, the guy’s parents are dead, very Jedi of him, by the way, he lives alone away from any people… I mean I don’t know how he lives with himself.”

This very open, odd conversation really bothered Maisie. Who was this woman and why was she so interested in Ben? Could she…? Fascination might mean attraction? Have they spoken? Maisie almost grinned; she really couldn’t wait to tell Ben about his possible secret admirer. But Maisie only gave her a passive aggressive smile and stood up out of the water. She grabbed her towel on the way out to cover herself up.

“I didn’t mean to insult you o-or him. I’m sorry,” Charlize was quick to apologize. Maisie had to give it to her, she sounded truthful. Maisie nodded at her and walked toward the exit. As she was leaving, a large man came out from one of the shower stalls and made a beeline for the hot tub. Maisie didn’t think anything of it until she heard Charlize complaining.

“Marcus, I’ve told you, I don’t— No, absolutely not! Don’t fucking touch me!”

As the threats got louder and as splashing was heard, Maisie spun around. The man she assumed was Marcus was holding both of Charlize’s wrists and trying to pin her to the side of the hot tub. She was protesting every second and no one else was around. 

_Leave her alone!_ Maisie tried yelling. She didn’t move from her spot in between the tub and the exit. She should run out and get help. It was late, maybe no one else was around. _Stop it!_ she tried again. It was getting worse, Charlize was screaming. 

Maisie ran towards the tub and she reached out her fist, ready to jump in and beat the shit out of this animal. He looked like a frat boy. _Ugh._ But when she got close, something made Marcus shoot off of Charlize and smash against the other side of the hot tub. Maisie looked at her hand, feeling the tingles. Marcus now was staring at Maisie. _Oh no…_

“And just what the hell do you think you’re doing? This is none of your business, is it?” he had a horrible accent. Maisie couldn’t figure out from where. 

“Maisie, this isn’t—“

“You shut the hell up!” he screamed at Charlize now, who cowered. Maisie couldn’t believe she was now wrapped up in the middle of this. But she wouldn’t leave. She wasn’t going to. 

“I won’t ask again.”

Maisie still didn’t move, only glowered at the man down in the hot tub. He started moving towards where Charlize and Maisie were. Maisie thought he was going to grab Charlize again, but she was surprised when he grabbed her ankle and pulled her down to the hard, granite floor. She slammed harder than she would’ve liked and whimpered but immediately fought back when he was pulling her into the water. Maisie scratched his cheek and tried scrambling away, her towel now lost in the water, soaked and floating. Maisie’s heart was pounding. 

She was trying to signal for Charlize to leave and run and even get help if she could, but the woman seemed frozen in place. Marcus came at Maisie again, who was halfway out of the tub, and she kicked him in the chest and then the neck, just flailing to get away. She was starting to hyperventilate, she could feel it. But she just had to keep it at bay for a little longer. 

_Get away! Get the fuck off of her!_ Maisie crawled over when he went back after Charlize and roughly put his hand on her throat. Maisie saw her being pulled out of the water with his hand lifting her, crushing her windpipe.

“You wanted this, bitch? This is what happens!” 

Maisie shot her arm straight out, eyes nearly glowing menacingly. She mimicked the hold he had on Charlize with her one hand. Suddenly, Marcus let go. His hands were forced away from even touching Charlize, leaving her gasping and sputtering in the water. Marcus then moved his hands to his own neck and it sounded like he was the one who was choking. Maisie’s whole arm was shaking. She didn’t care about Marcus and Charlize's backstory or their history. Forcing oneself upon anyone is an outright act of violence and Maisie would never stand for it. She never did, having had to step in and save women she loved from this kind of abuse in her past. She saw Marcus’s face turning purple and that’s when she released him. Maisie felt so drained of energy after that. She crawled over and touched Charlize’s shoulder. Marcus was unconscious face up in the tub. She helped pull Charlize out, the both of them naked and shaking and exhausted. 

“T-Thank you,” Charlize whispered. Her eyes were wide with shock, unsure if she witnessed what she really just witnessed. Maisie collapsed onto the floor, her eyes fluttering. It felt like all her energy was used and exerted.

“Hey, I’ll— I’ll get help. You’re okay,” Maisie saw a blur of Charlize grabbing something to cover up with before running out. 

* * *

Ben was asleep when he had a strong Force pull. He shot awake and he kept sensing it. It was coarse and untrained. _Maisie._

He raced out of bed and went to her tent first, not finding her there. He tried to feel that connection again and follow it. It took him some time running around the base, but he was headed in the right direction. Then the pull stopped completely. Ben’s heart dropped. That was never good. Ben continued walking straight from his current trajectory and he was headed towards the showers. Just when he couldn’t see much of anyone in there from a distance, a woman ran out in a towel, looking panicked. Ben sprinted inside and he saw Maisie lying on the ground, naked and wet, and there was a man floating in the tub. He was alive, Ben could tell that much. But he ran right to Maisie and immediately was shaken up by the sight. He grabbed multiple towels from a rack and knelt down by her, covering her up and wrapping her up. From his quick gloss-over, there didn’t seem to be any physical injuries to her. 

“Maisie?” he saw her eyes fluttering open. 

_B-Ben… so tired…_ she couldn’t make the connection. Before Ben could do anything, that woman in the towel ran back in with five other Resistance members, two of them medics. 

“Is she breathing?”

“Yes, she’s breathing,” Ben answered for Maisie to one of them as the other worked on pulling the man from the hot tub. 

“Please move. I need to assess her,” the medic said and Ben reluctantly laid Maisie back down on the floor. With a quick inspection with a few medical tools, the medic looked confused, “She’s vitally fine… We’ll take her to med bay to conduct more test—“

“No,” Ben butted in, “No, please, I know what happened. I can tend to her. She’ll be fine, she just needs rest. Please, I know this kind of injury,” he hoped he sounded convincing enough because he knew his spirit was. 

The medic didn’t know if this was a good idea. But she truly hadn’t seen this before. Every vital showed that Maisie was fine: heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, cholesterol… literally everything was stable and normal. But she knew Ben Solo. If this was something he knew of, it had to be a spiritual thing. She nodded.

Ben came closer to Maisie and pulled her up into his arms. He carried her as fast as he could through the base and into the woods where his hut was. He laid her wrapped up body on his bed. Ben got busy, gathering herbs and teas he harvested himself from the forests. He went to his fireplace and minced specific bits of these greens into a kettle and filled that kettle with water. He rested it over the fire to come to a boil. Ben felt Maisie’s Force was severely weakened. Whatever happened, she exerted way too much Force energy that she wasn’t capable of controlling. This was the danger he was talking about way back when they first started training. 

Ben went and pulled out his thickest sweatshirt. He sat at the edge of his bed and carefully pulled one of the towels off Maisie’s upper body at the same time he slid her into his shirt. It was oversized, especially the length of the sleeves. He was respectful, never once trying to look at her in any way that wasn’t trying to care for her wellbeing. He left a different towel resting over her legs, but he adjusted them so he could pull the blankets over her whole body. 

With the tea/herb brewing, the whole hut was soon filled with a strong, soothing scent. Ben knelt down on the floor next to Maisie’s bedside. He gingerly reached for her hand and held it in his. He ran his thumb over her shockingly smooth hand, looking at her resting face. Her hand was cold and it bothered Ben. He covered her one hand completely with two of his. Ben could perform a Force heal like he did to the injury on her thigh those many weeks ago, but he knew she’d recover easily from this. She would just feel fatigued for some time. He wouldn’t waste the heal. Ben rested his chin on the bed, hands cupping Maisie’s. He stayed awake until he could feel the warmth returning to her. The smells in the hut were getting Ben sleepy, but he fought it to make sure she’d be okay. Ben leaned over and touched Maisie’s cheek with the back of his hand. Maisie’s face turned in the way of his hand, but she remained asleep. Ben slowly turned his hand so his palm was close to Maisie’s cheek. And she willingly pressed her cheek into the palm of his hand, seeking the comfort. Ben returned the loving action by leaving his hand there for her, feeling more warmth from her. She was recovering very well. As more time passed, Ben felt himself fading. He removed his hand and just sat on the floor, still not wanting to fall asleep. The first light of dawn shown through his window and he grimaced at it. Ben slumped against his wall and his head hung down, the heaviness in his eyes finally giving way. 

Maisie felt herself waking when a strange heaviness in the air lifted. The smells Ben had stewed for her cleared and Maisie blinked her eyes open. She took a deep breath. She heard rustling to her left and immediately saw Ben kneeling by her bedside, staring at her expectantly. His hair looked somehow… it probably looked the same, but his eyes were… everything about Ben Solo in this moment was simply soft. So utterly _soft._

“Welcome back,” were Ben’s first words to Maisie.

“Where’ve I been?” she didn’t remember initiating the Force link this time, but she knew Ben heard her. 

“Away. Not too far. You maxed out,” Ben’s hand went to Maisie’s on its own, making sure she was still warm. Maisie glanced down at him holding her hand but she needed the comfort. Usually, it was _her_ openly holding _his_ hand. This was a nice change. 

Maisie turned on her side and she looked at Ben through her just-waking haze. The sun coming through the window was haloing him celestially. 

“Did Charlize get away?”

Ben cocked his head, “The girl?”

Maisie nodded.

“She’s fine, I think. I only saw her briefly. She went to get help.”

“I hope she’s okay,” Maisie whispered and briefly shut her eyes again. Ben watched her closely. Maisie’s hand slid out from Ben’s and she rolled around in the bed, curling up into a ball. She hugged her arms around herself, feeling cold suddenly. She was feeling more, though, and she realized she had absolutely zero clothes on except for her shirt which… wasn’t hers. She felt the fabric and saw the comically baggy, long sleeves. 

“Holy shit…” she mumbled.

“What?” Ben asked, thinking she’d let him in on some vast realization she had in her deep slumber.

“I’m naked.”

Ben huffed out a laugh at that, smiling. It wasn’t his fault. He was sleep-deprived and not expecting that to come out of her mouth. Maisie looked at Ben, knowing why she was like this. The sweater was new but she appreciated the gesture more than she could say.

“Ben,” she reached out for his hand again, “I can never express how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I have so much trust in you. I feel loved being with you.”

Ben’s heart rate started pulsing and his cheeks flushed. His eyes darted away from Maisie’s, too nervous to hold the gaze. 

Maisie leaned forward towards him, resting herself right on the edge of the bed. She cupped Ben’s cheeks in her hands so he could look at her and she smiled. Ben swore her freckles were dancing, the light from the window illuminating every perfect feature of hers. Maisie pressed her lips to Ben’s forehead while saying to him, “I love you so much. Thank you,” and she wrapped her arms around him, resting her head in the crook of his neck. Ben was floored. His hands slid around Maisie’s smaller frame and hugged her back. He didn’t know how many more times he could go through this emotional roller coaster. He didn’t want to let her go now that he had her in his arms. She said it. She said what he’d wanted to hear since she first made him smile, since she first initiated a conversation with him. _I love you so much,_ she said. He knew he didn’t imagine it. But… it was platonic. Love could of course be platonic. But Maisie’s love was unlike any other love he’d ever known. 

“You’ve come to my rescue so many times now it’s embarrassing,” Maisie let Ben go and she laid back down in the bed. 

“It’s all out of love,” Ben couldn’t believe he said that aloud. He just barely whispered the word ‘love.’ 

“I-I think I used the Force last night,” Maisie now said, wanting to talk about this.

“I know you did. I felt it.”

“But do you— Do you know what I did?”

Ben shook his head, “No, but it was strong. It almost didn’t feel like you.”

Maisie frowned and she looked away from Ben now.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Maisie sounded meek, like a child afraid of being scolded by a parent. Ben cocked his head so he would look at Maisie straighter, “Well, what did you do?”

Maisie lifted up her hand, as if there’d be evidence to show what she did, “I like… I think I choked him.”

Ben didn’t outwardly react. He was putting the pieces together. Two naked women, one naked man. Two naked women in fear, one unconscious man. 

“It’s like I felt his whole body in my hand and I was in control. But he was hurting her and I couldn’t let him do that, so I just… I hurt him back.”

Ben had experience in this area, “Maisie, that was a result of you not feeling the balance of the Force. You were tempted by the pull of the dark side.”

“Wait, no, I wasn’t having evil thoughts or anything, I was just protecting her—“

“But you wanted to inflict pain on the man.”

 _I did._ “Oh, what? Jedi never want to inflict pain?"

“That’s not what I said. Don’t get defensive, Maisie, I’ve been where you’ve been. It’s tempting though, isn’t it?” he lowered his voice when he asked that, “To feel all that power all at once?”

Maisie stared back at Ben, eyes wide and worried, “I-I don’t want to turn to the dark side…”

“And you won’t. I won’t let that happen.”

“Is that why I feel so tired?”

“You exerted more Force energy than you had room for or experience with. It tore through your body. You’ll feel extra tired for a few more days at least.”

“I burnt out,” Maisie laid on her back, scratching her scalp. 

“You did.”

“But I’ll get better?”

Ben saw how nervous she looked and he could hear it in her voice reverberating inside his head, “You’ll get better.”

Maisie took a deep breath, muttering, “I’m a mess…” 

_A mess that I’ll happily love and take care of,_ Ben thought and he almost projected it into words, but he chickened out. 

“You are. But that’s where I come in,” he opted to say instead. Maisie smiled softly at Ben. Maisie ran over the events of last night in her head, stuffing her hands under Ben’s pillow and resting on her stomach as she thought. She did everything she could. And she prevented either her or Charlize or any other woman from getting seriously hurt. She did the right thing. It made her easily triggered and panicked mind calm down about the situation. 

“Do you want me to pick up specific things from your tent?” Ben asked as he stood up, a few stiff joints popping when he did so. 

“What?” Maisie looked up from the pillow.

“So you’ll feel comfortable here.”

“No, I’ll be fine, Ben—“

“I have to take care of you. I’ll be your nurse. Is there anything you need?”

Maisie laid there, “Clothes,” she said, “And my notebook.” She didn’t have the gumption to think of her translation watch construction. 

“Got it,” Ben headed out and to Maisie’s tent. He gathered her clothing into a duffel bag of hers. He was about to throw the notebook in when he remembered. With the notebook in hand, his plans shifted. Ben sat down and went through all the pages of her watch notes. He quickly went out of the tent and busied himself by going to the technicians’ unit and borrowing one of their droids. It could scan anything written. He got it to make copies of those pages in her notebook. Was this invasive? A little… maybe… yeah. But he was doing it to help Maisie. Now with the copies hidden in his pocket, duffel bag of clothes in hand, and even some breads and fruits from the food hall, Ben made his way back to his hut. Here goes day one of nursing Maisie back to health. 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes yes yes yes! it's finally happening!

Maisie was a very good patient on the first day of Ben taking care of her. She didn’t ask for much and listened to Ben when he told her to do or not do certain things. Ben did a good job keeping her calm and happy as she could be, all while staying in his bed. 

The second day of healing came rather quickly to Maisie, but now she was restless. She stood out of the bed for the first time because she finally had to pee. With Ben still asleep, Maisie quietly and slowly tiptoed out of Ben’s hut and made her way with a change of clothes to the toilets at the base. Those weren’t very far from her tent at all. She did her business, freshened up, and put on a change of clothes for the day. One thing she noticed about her fatigue was that this whole ordeal of merely getting up and walking made her feel extremely tired again. Her legs felt like noodles and her neck hurt from keeping her head up to support it. She tied her hair back to keep it out of her face and she slowly walked back to Ben’s hut. Before she could even push the door open to let herself in, Ben swung it open.

“You’re not supposed to be out of bed for that long, especially not without me.”

“I had to pee.”

“Well… wake me up so I can take you next time,” Ben ran his fingers through his hair and he reached over to grasp Maisie’s arm when she wobbled. He guided her to the bed. She sat at the edge of it and took a deep breath.

“This feels so awful…”

“I know.”

“I didn’t feel as bad yesterday, though.”

“Because you didn’t take a big walk yesterday.”

 _Made sense._

Maisie kicked her sandals off and hoisted her legs up onto the bed. She laid down and stared at the ceiling. At that moment, her stomach rumbled. 

Ben looked over at her, “Hungry?”

Maisie nodded, “Very.”

Ben stood up, “I’ll go get us breakfast.”

Ben stepped out of the hut. Maisie looked around his hut, already bored by her surroundings after sitting in the same spot all day the previous day. She saw Ben’s lightsaber peeking out of a bag resting on the ground. Curiosity got the best of her and she stood out of the bed and pulled the lightsaber from the bag. She studied the outside of it, never really holding a lightsaber in her hand before. She was no Jedi, nor did she ever want to be. But holding this lightsaber made her feel very powerful. Like she was meant for something. She stared down its barrel before turning it out the right way and she flicked something that ignited it. She nearly poked a hole through Ben’s roof, but narrowly avoided that. _Wow…_ Maisie could feel the weight of the saber like it was barely there. But still, there was balance. It wasn’t all weighty just from the handle. She waved it around, listening to the noises it made. It was amazing. 

Maisie sat back in the bed with the saber and she poked the tip of it in the fireplace. Almost immediately, it caught fire and blazed. She smiled. _This is so cool._ She wanted to stand up and swing it around, but she didn’t want to do it in Ben’s small hut, nor did she think it was a good idea in her weakened state. Maybe she could get Ben to teach her how to properly handle one… or was it offensive if she had one? She wasn’t certain of the Jedi rules. 

The door creaked open and Maisie jumped, knowing she’d been caught. She didn’t know how to turn off the lightsaber so she just held it at arm’s length from herself, smiling sheepishly at Ben. Ben just stared at her before raising an eyebrow, “I can’t leave you alone for one minute, can I?”

“I’m sorry, I was just curious.”

Ben set down the basket of food he brought and went over, taking the saber from Maisie and sheathing it, “This thing’s dangerous.”

“I said I was sorry.”

Ben put the lightsaber down so Maisie couldn’t easily get it from her position on the bed and he brought the basket of food to her, “G’head. Pick what you want. I can’t seem to stay mad at you, hard as I try.”

Maisie smiled at Ben and sifted through the food in the basket, “Cuz I’m just too lovable,” she gave him a purposely cheesy smile. 

_That’s exactly why._ But Ben just said, “Yeah, something like that,” with a small smirk. Maisie laid out a napkin over her lap and piled it with pastries and fruits and one dried meat log. She took a bite out of that first before passing the basket to Ben. He sat in his chair and started eating. 

They ate in silence and Ben took notice of how Maisie ate when she was really hungry. Yesterday everything was normal. In fact, she probably ate less than she should’ve just from feeling so drained. She was also especially quiet yesterday. But right now, Maisie was putting food into her mouth that kept her cheeks puffed with it. Ben smiled at the cuteness and absurdity of it all.

“I hope you’re chewing your food,” he joked.

Maisie looked over to him and she swallowed what was in her mouth, licking her fingers, “What’s that matter to you? I’m hungry. You should stop eating like a bird. You’re too skinny,” she threw a seed from the fruit she was eating at Ben and it hit him in the temple, making her giggle.

Ben grinned, trying not to show if that affected him or not. They both continued eating. Maisie finished all the food in her lap and wrapped the scraps and crumbs in the napkin, tossing them aside. 

“What’re you going to do today to keep me entertained?”

“Oh, I’m here to entertain you now?”

“You’re keeping me as a hostage in your home, I only ask for entertainment,” she leaned back in the bed, propping herself up against the headboard. 

Ben grinned at her cheekiness again. He stood and gathered up their garbage and threw it all away. 

“Ooh, you should tell me stories.”

“Stories?”

“Mmhm. Like old ancient Jedi stories.”

“Yes, but old ancient Jedi stories are boring.”

Maisie sighed. She wasn’t getting anywhere with Ben and the constant bickering, however playful, was wearing on her. It was like she was right back with Poe when she was annoyed with him. They’d behave the same way. 

“I’m sorry,” Ben apologized. Though Maisie hadn’t said anything, he saw his stubbornness hurt her, “I don’t think I’m very good at telling stories. I don’t have any interesting ones to tell.”

“So, what’re you going to do with your future kids when they ask about your past?” Maisie asked, “You can’t hide from your past, Ben.”

Ben never considered future offspring to ever tell anything to. He figured he’d die alone after ruling the First Order for all his unhappy years. And then Rey came along and hope came with her. And for a while, Ben thought most of the hope died with Rey, too. But then he met Maisie. 

“So you want to hear dark stories? Of pain and—“

“No,” Maisie quickly stopped him, “No, I want to know the Ben that’s been under that mask for so many years. I want to know about your first likes and dislikes, about your parents, about your buried thoughts and memories…” Maisie trailed off, realizing it wasn’t her place to want all of that. She never shared with him the details about her own past. So who was she to demand this much of him?

“I-I’m sorry, it just seems like you’re hurting over those things…” 

Ben was quiet after Maisie finished speaking. Her words still echoed in his head. 

“I almost knew Poe Dameron when I was very little.”

“Really?” Maisie perked up. 

Ben nodded, “Yeah. He’s a little older than me. But his parents both worked with my parents and my uncle for a long time. Shara was Poe’s mother; she worked as my mother’s personal pilot for a few years.”

Maisie’s eyes widened, “How come Poe never told me this!? Wow… but did you ever meet as kids?”

“I don’t think we did. If we did, it was probably some brief interaction that neither of us will remember. We would’ve both been very young.”

“Small world when the Skywalkers are involved, hm?” Maisie laid on her side and smiled at Ben. 

“Truthfully, I don’t think Dameron and I would’ve gotten along if things had turned out differently.”

“Whahat? Why not?” Maisie asked, astonished he would say that. From where she was sitting, she could see them being best friends if they tried.

“Different personalities.”

Maisie scoffed, “Different! Do you know who Poe Dameron is? You’re just as snarky as he is, perhaps a little less outwardly confident and cocky. I think you two would be tremendous friends if you gave it a chance.”

“Is that the only attribute of mine you take note of?”

Maisie shrugged and she stretched on the bed, raising her arms above her head, “Well, if you want me to continue, I will.”

“Go on.”

“You’re quiet most of the time and you prefer being alone—“

“I didn’t ask for an analysis,” Ben hardened up a bit, not wanting to hear that that was what Maisie thought of him.

“You’re impersonal. I had to work pretty hard to crack your shell. Poe was much easier to get to. He’s just naturally playful. But you’re very sweet, Ben. I can see all you want is some love and affection. And I don’t blame you, after what you’ve been through… You’re not very funny though, I must say. That’s a big difference between you and Poe.”

“I’m not?”

“Not really.”

Ben rocked his head to the side, seemingly contemplating that new jab. If everything he was was being compared to Poe, he really had to step it up in some areas. “Hmm…” Ben made the noise aloud and he stood up from his seat. He paced slowly in his hut. Maisie tried to hide her grin, realizing that one comment got to him. 

“No, I think I’ve made you laugh,” Ben stopped pacing and he faced Maisie.

“Me being drunk doesn’t count, I could laugh at anything.”

“No no, you were completely sober.”

“So, give me the example, Solo,” Maisie chortled, egging him on. 

That’s when Ben grinned. Maisie didn’t particularly feel safe when he grinned like that. Ben walked right up to the bedside and looked down at Maisie, “I mean, just think about how funny I am when I do this,” and he shot his arms down so quickly Maisie couldn’t even process that he moved them until she squeaked and tried curling herself into a ball. 

“Tickling’s cheating!” she promptly yelled at him in her head while her outside was just trying not to laugh, “Y-You’re still a black hole of joy!”

Ben hissed, “Ooof, that one hurt. And— dahamn, you’re strong,” he had to drop the facade for a split second, since he was having a hard time getting anywhere near Maisie’s midsection. Her arms were perfectly spaced and tight as all hell, not wanting to move to let his devious fingers in. 

“You’re really ruining my fun, here,” Ben put his chin on the mattress where Maisie’s head was currently pressing into it. She peeked her eye open and huffed.

“This still doesn’t mean you’re funny. Just cruel. Which I knew already.”

Ben flashed a grin, “You knooow…” he drawled, “I really didn’t _want_ to cheat…”

“But you are— Ben!” Maisie’s outward body gasped and she squirmed around on the bed. It felt like he was tickling her very lightly all over her torso at once… but he wasn’t touching her. 

“Force is REALLY not fair!” she yelled at him again. 

Ben chuckled and he merely sat back to watch her squirm. But damn, she was tough.

“Are you just not that ticklish?” he marveled at her. With a personality like hers that he’d come to know over the past few months, he’d think she’d be sensitive all over. 

“I aham, I just don’t want to give you the satisfaction,” Maisie easily admitted, ceasing her squirming when the Force tickles stopped. Her chest was heaving in an effort to catch her breath. She also let her arms fall to her side and she just looked up at Ben, a small smile still gracing her lips. 

“Alright, then I’ll drop the act. I’m not very funny,” Ben said to appease Maisie, speaking in a soft tone of voice. Maisie chuckled at that.

“Aha! See, you just laughed!”

“You’re just being stupid now!”

“Now I’m stupid!?” Ben acted so offended, even holding a hand over his chest, “Wow, the insults just keep flying today, huh? Huh, Maisie? Is that very nice?” he teased, pouting his lower lip out dramatically. Now his hands shot back to her sides and wiggled furiously. Maisie was just so caught up in his goofiness that she yelped and started giggling. 

“Ben! Wait stop! Behen!” Maisie continued giggling, her hands trying to stop Ben’s hands but truly, she tried half-heartedly. She figured she needed a good laugh, as much as being tickled was not something she thoroughly enjoyed. Poe got her good a few years ago, during a quiet moment in the war. But there wasn’t really a time or place for tickling since then. The most recent she’d experienced was at the lake during that game of chicken. But even then, she was fighting it. Maisie just laid there and tried to let her body go and just feel it. It was super hard.

Ben switched to clawing at her belly and Maisie screeched, curling inward on herself almost into a perfect ball. 

“St-Stop! Stop it!” 

Ben was having a marvelous time. This was the first time he’d ever tickled someone with Maisie’s abilities… well, maybe the first time he’d ever tickled someone, truthfully. It was quite the experience. He could hear Maisie’s pleas in his head, her calling his name or asking him to stop, but it all came out sounding like a normal command. But real Maisie he was staring at was giggling away, squeaking if he switched to a new spot since the sensations changed. He loved this.

“Do you have a really bad spot?” he asked her. Maisie shook her head. Ben climbed up her ribs, digging into every bone on his way up. Maisie arched her back and this is when Ben realized she couldn’t really laugh like a normal person. There were no big ‘HA’s’ or any real belly laughs. Her laugh went straight to breathless when she laughed too hard. And he also realized she couldn’t concentrate on speaking to him while she was laughing this hard. Ben smiled wide. This was the cutest discovery he’d ever made. 

“Wow, I think I broke you,” Ben teased in his deadpan tone of voice. Maisie squeaked again when Ben’s hands tried to burrow into her armpits. She kept her arms clamped down as tight as she could get them. But Ben wanted in. He grabbed onto one of her wrists and started pulling it away. Maisie was shaking her head, her eyes practically teary from mirth, and she just couldn’t stop giggling and whining. Ben forced her arm out to her side and he attacked with his free hand. Maisie snorted and delved into more breathless, wheezing laughter, her eyes squeezed shut. She started kicking her legs out from behind Ben, the tickling driving her crazy. Ben was only burrowing two fingers into Maisie’s armpit and it was driving her mad. 

“What about these? They’re pretty animated, considering you almost kicked me in the head,” Ben let her upper body go and he shifted his body so he was laying over her thighs, pinning them. That’s when Maisie sat up and shook her head, her hands holding onto Ben’s.

“No! No, Ben, please don’t.”

“Worst spot?”

Maisie’s already flushed cheeks went even redder. 

“I can’t take it,” she pleaded before he even did anything. And then he did something. Ben dragged one finger up her bare right sole and Maisie snorted again, holding onto her middle as she giggled. She covered one hand over her mouth, embarrassed by these noises she was making. Ben was in heaven. When Ben wiggled four fingers on Maisie’s foot, she just about screamed and her upper body resorted to flopping like a fish out of water. 

Ben looked at Maisie’s trapped but struggling feet and he could still see the darkened scar from where her burn marks now resided. He curiously delicately traced his fingers over the scar and Maisie whined a loud, “Ben!” into his head. She smacked his back. Ben chuckled. He moved again to her soles and attacked both feet with both his hands. Maisie did almost kick him in his face, but it wasn’t her fault. She just happened to be too ticklish for her own good in this spot. Ben scratched circles incessantly onto Maisie’s deep arches, and that was the first and only time Ben heard a “HA!” escape her lips before she devolved into frantic wheezes and snorts and giggles. She was too weak to even squirm anymore.

Ben finally gave it a rest when he didn’t feel Maisie fighting back anymore and he just sat at the edge of the bed, looking down at her. She had one tear streak down her left cheek and her lower lashes were wet with the budding tears of joy that never shed. Maisie was still giggling, much to Ben’s delight. He watched her chest heave up and down as she tried catching her breath. 

“Y-You’re— I— That sucked…” Maisie couldn’t even find what to say, and she just couldn’t stop smiling, regardless of how much her cheeks ached. 

Ben smiled at her back, feeling the joy radiating off of Maisie, “I don’t know, it seemed like you were enjoying yourself.”

Maisie rolled onto her side and took one big deep breath to finally settle herself out.

“You have the best laugh I’ve ever heard in my whole life,” Ben pointed out.

“Oho shut up,” Maisie rolled her eyes and covered her face with her hands. She was blushing now not just from laughing too hard. 

“You do. It’s so unique,” Ben reached down and tried pulling Maisie’s hands away from her face. 

She let him and she was looking up into Ben Solo’s brown eyes, “Figures the two of us have some of the worst laughs in the galaxy.”

Ben did laugh at that. 

“I blame the Force,” Maisie continued.

“You know, I don’t think anyone in my family actually had normal laughs. I can’t quite remember, but I also don’t have any evidence proving they did have normal laughs. So that could be right.”

Maisie chuckled. Her wrists were still being held in Ben’s hands, but she didn’t try to move them. Ben started chuckling again with seemingly nothing prompting him.

“Whahat?” Maisie asked, curious and smiling on her own.

“You literally just wheeze. Ihit’s the most adorable sound.”

Maisie blushed again, but she took this one as more of a compliment. Not even Poe ever remarked about her laugh. He didn’t really call her adorable unless he was making fun of her height. 

“Thank you,” she said softly, sweetly, tenderly.

“I think I’m addicted. I’m going to have to hear it once a day just to go on.”

Maisie smiled wide, flattered, even though they were teases. She felt sleepy again. All that energy exertion really took it out of her already weakened state. Nice one, Ben. But Maisie didn’t mind. She felt great. 

Maisie stretched her fingers so her tips were touching Ben’s chin. Ben only now seemed to realize he had been holding onto her wrists this whole time and he let her go. Maisie cupped Ben’s cheek with her hand, smiling at him. She decided to throw caution to the wind. Maisie guided Ben to move closer to her and she touched his forehead to hers. The tips of their noses brushed against each other. 

“Can I kiss you, Ben?” Maisie’s soft voice asked.

“You never have to ask,” was Ben’s almost immediate reply. Maisie leaned up and she pressed her lips to Ben’s, shutting her eyes. One of her hands reached behind Ben’s head and carded through his hair. 

Ben wasn’t letting her go this time. He wasn’t playing around, he wasn’t hiding his feelings. He kissed Maisie back with everything he had in him, their noses constantly clashing, teeth clicking together more than once. Was that from inexperience? Ben didn’t know; he wanted to think it was just passion. Maisie kissed Ben until she felt herself drifting away. Her lips left his and her head fell back into the pillow. A small smile graced her features and she shut her eyes, letting sleep come to take her again. 

Ben looked down at her. He sighed. It felt like relief, it felt like elation. He laid down and pressed his head into her belly. He kissed her belly. Then he slowly got off the bed and maneuvered the covers so they wrapped Maisie up snugly. 

Ben stood back and let Maisie rest. He took a breath and then wiped both of his eyes, trying to test if what just happened was real and not another one of his dreams. But his eyes were wet and when he looked at the bed, Maisie was still there, calm and peaceful. Ben stepped outside his hut, wanting to take time to recenter himself with the Force and with any issues he’d been struggling with. Maisie was right. He was still hurting over not getting to know the Ben Solo he could’ve been and should’ve been. He went off deep into the forest to contemplate and meditate. Maisie had given him the strength to go through with the first step to his own healing. 


	23. Chapter 23

Maisie had an odd dream during her rest. She was back on Lirra, in that dreadful, smoky casino. She was walking through and then a woman grabbed her by the arm and started guiding her away from her duties. Maisie didn’t fight it. She didn’t even look at the woman. The woman led her to a door and she pushed it open, light flooding through. Temporarily, the dream paused. There was just gentle white light. It warmed Maisie. Then it was like things came into focus through a fog. The woman was still holding onto her arm, but now Maisie was able to look. It was Rey. Someone she hardly spoke to during the war; she didn’t get to know her. Maisie remembered Rey was once impressed by her ability to fix a droid. Rey was a hero. And Rey was beautiful. Rey just smiled at Maisie and brought her into the open field on Ajan Kloss that Maisie found familiar. Warmth seemed to be radiating off of Rey and it came from the air and the earth around them. 

Rey and Maisie floated down the large hill. And they kept walking straight. And straight ahead there was a dark-haired someone dressed in all earth tones. They were like a speck in the distance. The more the pair walked closer to the person, Maisie noticed odd happenings. Little sparks were lighting up in the grass around her. She took a look behind her and Rey and gasped. The whole place was on fire. But she looked back ahead and there was peace. Wherever her footsteps landed, fires sparked. Maisie started to walk faster, but Rey kept holding her back. The fire didn’t seem to be catching up to them, merely they were the cause of it. They were close enough to the figure now that she knew it was Ben. His back was towards them and he was wearing clothes and not one spot of them black. That’s why she didn’t recognize him. Rey let go of Maisie’s arm and she felt like she was falling, falling into the fire. At the same time, Ben turned his head around. And Maisie woke up, smoke everywhere in the hut. 

Maisie started to cough when she realized her lungs were filling with smoke. The fireplace that she had ignited in the morning with Ben’s lightsaber was ablaze, roaring and spreading. It must’ve caught on something flammable. Maisie flung herself out of the bed and went straight for the door, pulling it open with little difficulty and running away from it. Her wobbly legs gave way and she tumbled to the floor. She turned and stared as the backside of Ben’s hut was burning. _Got to get help,_ she tried standing again and also tried calling for Ben. She didn’t feel an immediate connection. She stood up and leaned on a tree trunk. She was too far from any person and it was the middle of the night. By the time she hobbled off to get help, the hut would be burnt down. But where was Ben? Could the Force put out fires?

Maisie leaned her back against the tree and decided why not give it a shot. She reached out her arms and tried to think of dousing the flame. Instead of just smoke being visible from the back of the hut, now there was clear flames licking their way towards the sky. _No no no no…_ Maisie tried harder. She saw the flames jolt as if a huge gust of wind had blown them, but that was all she could accomplish. _Ben! Ben!_ Maisie tried calling out. She groaned and walked off, taking deep breaths. She was going to find someone or put this damn fire out herself.

Ben was pulled from his meditation when he smelled smoke in the air. He looked in the direction his hut was and saw red fire. His heart dropped and he sprinted for the location, calling out, “Maisie!” he sounded shaken. He burst into the front door and was immediately faced with roaring flames. He couldn’t see for shit. Ben shook both his arms out by his sides and the flames dissipated in a small path for him. The whole place was smoky. He didn’t see Maisie. He prayed she got out before this happened. But where was she? Just as Ben was about to leave the flaming hut, a support beam fell from the ceiling and hit his shoulder, knocking him to the ground. 

Maisie couldn’t find any person to help but she did get to one of the drinking wells at the base. She hoisted up the first bucket and looked down at it. By now, she could see the smoke rising above the forest trees in the night sky. One bucket wouldn’t do anything… _This is all my fault…_

Maisie stumbled her way back towards the house. She fell on slanted ground and pulled herself back up. She walked and walked and finally got back to the hut. The door was open now. Maisie’s eyes widened, “Ben!?”

Maisie ran towards the hut and she squinted, peering inside. She saw a person laying on the— “Ben!” Maisie shoved the door open wide and knelt on the ground by Ben. He was being trapped by the support beam that collapsed on him. The beam was catching fire in multiple places.

Maisie grabbed onto a piece that was not yet covered in flames and she lifted with all her limited strength. “Come on, Ben! Come on!” 

Ben wasn’t unconscious, but he wasn’t all there either, the beam hitting the back of his head and his shoulders most predominantly. He slithered out from under the beam just enough for Maisie to let it fall back down without trapping him. She was coughing again and she helped pull Ben out of the burning hut, the both of them crawling. 

“Come on, come on,” she kept repeating and she saw the shirt piece by his shoulder was on fire. She patted it out with her sleeve. 

The two laid in the grass a few yards away from the ablaze hut. Ben reeled back and he pulled Maisie close to him with his uninjured arm. Maisie leaned into him. They stared as the whole hut started collapsing in on itself, consumed by flames. Maisie was just happy Ben was now safe, and he was feeling the exact same about her. 

* * *

Ben and Maisie spent the night in med bay. 

They were both hooked up to breathing apparatuses to help clear the inhaled smoke from their lungs. And Ben was patched up by the medics. He had a large cut and burn on his shoulder as well as a relatively big gash on the back of his head, both from the fallen beam. 

Maisie didn’t see Ben for two days after the night of the fire. Rose visited her and kept her company for one of the days. The medics cleared her after one day on the breathing aid but she vaguely explained her weakness just so she could stay close to Ben for a little longer, even if she couldn’t see him. But on that third morning, she heard rain pattering on the roof. She felt good. She felt like she was back to normal, or as normal as she could possibly be. Maisie got herself cleared and she was pointed in the direction of where Ben was staying for his recovery. She went to a floor of sectioned off beds and found Ben in his little cubicle. 

“Hey,” Ben looked so relieved to see Maisie. 

Maisie went up to Ben and hugged him, being careful with his arm. She rubbed his back. She let go of him and brushed some of his hair off his forehead, smiling almost sadly, “You look really good,” she pointed out.

“So do you.”

“When can you get out of here?” Maisie asked Ben.

“They said anytime today, actually.”

“Ben,” Maisie couldn’t not talk about it any more, cutting through the small talk, “I think it’s my fault your home burned down. I lit the fire with your lightsaber that morning and I don’t really understand how powerful a lightsaber is, so that may have caused it. I never should’ve messed with it, you’re right. But I’m gonna build you a new home, probably even better than the last one, so—“

“Maisie, calm down,” Ben was utterly calm himself about the situation, “It wasn’t anything you did. I left a blanket I was using too close to the flames. I am just so sorry I put you in danger like that without knowing. I would never forgive myself if anything bad happened to you because of my stupidity.”

Maisie’s mind went to the way Ben probed her brain on Navarro. She knew he never fully forgave himself for that. But she pushed that thought aside, “I’m glad you’re safe.”

“Yeah, I’m so glad you’re safe, too. You have no idea. The nurse kept me updated on you. It’s nice to have company besides the nurses now,” Ben smiled weakly at Maisie. 

_He had no visitors?_ Maisie wondered, saddened. She wasn’t even badly injured and she even had one visitor. 

“Well, I’m stuck with you until you’re released,” Maisie sat on a stool in his cubicle. 

“We can build my new hut together, if you want. I think it’ll be fun. And I’ll make it bigger than the last one. With a bigger bed,” Ben threw in, only glancing at Maisie. 

She smirked and she giggled, scratching under Ben’s chin, “Cute.”

Ben ducked his head down, smiling. He wanted to test the waters. He still wasn’t 100% sure the day she kissed him was a dream. Or if it meant anything that time. Maisie’s current flirty but still kind of vague response didn’t give him much hope. 

A nurse came over about an hour later and she took away the stitches that were in Ben’s head as well as replaced the stitches in his shoulder with a dissolvable, thin patch. It would help close his wound the rest of the way without him needing to come back in for removal. And just like that, with some simple instructions for aftercare, Ben was released from med bay. He walked out with Maisie and Maisie led him through the rain to get them set up with bunks of their own in the communal living space for the time being. Ben, however hard he tried and witnessed his acceptance grow at the base, was very concerned about this plan. He had to live in the same space as people who may still very well hate him. He wasn’t ready for any kind of excessive bullying or abuse, and he knew he wouldn’t stand for it. But Maisie was with him when they were shown to a few empty cots. 

Ben wanted to ask why Maisie was also staying in the communal living space when her tent was perfectly fine. He knew the answer though; he felt it in his heart just when she looked at him while putting sheets onto her cot and smiled at him. Maisie went out in the rain again to retrieve what was left in her tent. She got some clothes, since Ben didn’t take everything to his hut. But her notebook… she let out a soft breath, feeling like the wind was knocked out of her. She hadn’t thought about what she lost in the fire. Maybe she considered a pair of shoes and some clothes. But she completely forgot she asked Ben to get her her notebook, which was completely left behind. Maisie sat in her tent and hung her head in her hands. 

Her watch parts were here in her tent, safe from harm. But her plans, her ideas, her life’s work and passion… it was all gone. Burned up. Maisie hugged her arms around herself and hunched over, trying to take deep breaths to steady herself but the stress of losing it all was a lot to bear. She let out tears and a few sobs. She really wanted to stay in her tent the rest of the day. But she knew she couldn’t leave Ben alone. He’d worry. And she didn’t quite trust all of the crew in the living space fully, so she wanted to keep him from harm. Little could she do, honestly. But she would try. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose on an old rag. Maisie took clothing and her speaker system with her back to the common space. 

_Don’t think about it. Just don’t think about it and you’ll be fine,_ she was talking to herself the whole way back, rain pouring on her shoulders. She was breathing and willing away her tears. She made it back and started organizing her things into the cubbies under her cot. 

“You know, I was thinking. I could really be starting fresh,” Ben started talking when Maisie returned and busied herself.

“How so?”

“I can pick any location I want to rebuild.”

“Ben, do you plan on living here? Like permanently?” Maisie asked out of genuine curiosity. 

Ben looked at her, “Well… I don’t see myself moving to anywhere in particular.”

“I mean, I ask because… well, the Resistance base is here now. We’ve moved in the past and we may very well dissolve after all our tasks are completed. There may not be need for a Resistance anymore. You sound like you’re planting yourself in an unstable place. You should be around people.”

“Maybe the hut burning down was a sign,” Maisie continued when Ben looked away from her, “Maybe you’re ready to assimilate. And stay here with the Resistance.”

Ben looked down and fiddled with a chip in the frame of his bed. He thought Maisie would be excited for rebuilding his hut… it could be their hut. He wanted it to be for them. So the two of them could remain secluded. So it would be easy for him to train her away from prying eyes. To have _some_ privacy. 

“Hey,” was accompanied by a whack in his arm by a pair of pants Maisie swung over before she tried to fold them, “Am I wrong?”

Ben looked at her and maybe she was right. He had to stop feeling instant defeat whenever something didn’t go quite to his liking. He needed an open mind. With Maisie, he could learn. 

“I think you’re right.”

“Wow! Never heard that before. That’s one for the books,” she joked, making Ben smile. 

“But then that also means you shouldn’t be afraid of co-mingling. You have to stay here, too.”

Maisie smiled back at Ben and she plopped into her cot, “Way ahead of you,” she thought about just staying here and trying out this lifestyle again during her time spent in med bay. She did feel bad about Ben’s hut and did plan on rebuilding it for him. But this new idea came over her and it seemed like it was a path forward. They would be stupid not to take it. 

“People are going to start thinking you’re insane,” Maisie pointed out as she kicked off her shoes to get ready for bed as thunder boomed outside. 

When Ben cocked his head in confusion, Maisie smirked, “Because you’re talking to someone who they can’t hear talk back.”

Ben looked around at the other crew getting ready for bed in their respective cots. He looked back to Maisie and this time didn’t move his lips when he said, “Good point. Thanks for the advice.”

Maisie nodded, “No problem. Try not to sleep on that bad shoulder,” she reminded Ben right before she got comfortable in her cot, “Goodnight, Ben.”

“Goodnight."


	24. Chapter 24

Maisie woke the next morning and she could already smell the dew on the ground from last night’s heavy rainfall. It was a smell that kept her at peace. She squirmed around in her bed, maybe trying to go back to sleep. But there was chatter all around her. The technician peeked an eye open, forgetting where she was. _Right… new home._ Maisie rolled over to see if Ben was there, and indeed he was, though still asleep. Crew were getting ready for the day all over the common space, most talking in whispers to each other. 

Maisie had been missing training with Ben. And she never got him to teach her combat before she was incapacitated with her Force overexertion. She also sadly came to terms with the fact that she’d need to be spending a lot more time doing various training since she couldn’t work on her droid building anymore. She looked over at Ben, herself feeling now fully awake and maybe a little mischievous. Maisie got herself out of bed and snuck over to Ben’s cot, kneeling down on the floor beside it. She traced her finger down Ben’s bare arm. Come to think of it, she hardly ever saw him out of a long-sleeved shirt or jacket. He was very pale. Maisie traced her nail up and down, seeing goosebumps appear on his arm. She smiled. 

“Ben…” she whispered, wondering if he’d hear her in his sleep. She reached her arm over him and scratched lightly at his belly. That action caused him to move his arm so it was covering that sensitive midriff. But it left his side wide open for attack. Maisie brought all of her fingers down onto Ben’s side, wiggling and scratching, but not applying pressure. She was just barely grazing his skin. She saw more goosebumps and now he made a noise, like a cross between a whine and a groan. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Maisie teased, stopping her tickles temporarily. She rested her chin on Ben’s side and he lifted his arm as he turned over in the cot, that arm coming to rest on Maisie’s upper back. He sighed and blinked his eyes open to the sight of Maisie smiling at him. A beautiful sight, mind you. He couldn’t complain. 

“Why are you so… alert?” Ben asked in a gruff sleepy voice. 

Maisie smiled, “I slept well.”

“Me too. Until I was woken by tickles,” he scratched at the back of Maisie’s neck where his hand had landed and Maisie scrunched up her shoulders, ducking away.

“Can we train today?” she cut to the chase. 

Ben wasn’t planning on doing anything, so he supposed he had to say yes, “Yeah,” he rolled over onto his back and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles to get the sleep out of them. 

“Thank you, Ben,” Maisie said and quickly kneaded into Ben’s exposed belly and sides before leaning down and giving him a kiss on his forehead. As if nothing happened, she turned and started making her cot, getting her day started.

Ben let out a pretty undignified shriek when Maisie tickled him, and his hands lowered, allowing her to kiss his forehead. He sat in his cot, chuckling to himself. _She is absolutely insane._

Maisie took her clothes and went to the bathrooms to change into them. 

Ben stood to get ready, pulling on fresh underwear and pants. He glanced behind him while he was getting dressed and he knew he saw multiple eyes flick away. Judging him? So soon? Ben wouldn’t let this get him down.

Soon, he and Maisie were ready to go and they stopped in the food hall to get breakfast first.

“What kind of training did you want to do today?” Ben asked Maisie.

“Hand to hand. But I know you’re recovering still, so don’t go too hard or anything.”

“They have courses for that, Maisie,” Ben reminded, “I am really only experienced with weapon and Force combat.”

“But I trust you.”

Ben didn’t know what that had to do with anything, though he did appreciate it.

“Maisie,” Ben begun when they each grabbed food to go and started walking again. He switched to just talking to her in his head to not get stares, “It’s starting to sound like you want to be a soldier.”

“I mean, I want to be prepared.”

“What happened to the 'war is over'? You’re not preparing for a life of peace?"

Maisie couldn’t understand why Ben was giving her such a hard time about this. _What’s so bad about wanting to know how to fight?_

“I want to be able to protect the people I love.”

Ben looked over at Maisie and he thought over in his head what would be best for her. He simply gave his head a nod and didn’t deliver a verbal response.

“Woah…” Maisie said softly in her head as the pair passed the charred remains of Ben’s hut. She briefly wondered if her notebook would still be there, but she brushed that thought aside, knowing how implausible it was. Ben didn’t seem to dwell on it much. The past was in the past. 

He brought Maisie to the clearing and he took a deep breath. In the next second, as Ben’s hands were raising from his sides, all rocks, pebbles, and sticks were floating upward. Maisie watched and looked all around her at the sight. Then Ben flicked his hands and all of those pieces were thrown off to the side off the clearing. He acted as if nothing cool just happened, merely wiping his hands together as he looked over at Maisie, “You ready?”

Maisie set her breakfast plate down, still chewing a roll. She walked over to Ben and nodded. 

“Remember that balance I taught you a while back?”

Maisie nodded again.

“Well, that’s gonna come into play in a lot of different places besides just the Force. Open your legs up, stand up straight.”

Maisie complied, taking a deep breath. And so, training commenced. Ben wasn’t making himself the punching bag just yet. He was moreso teaching Maisie technique that would lead to a stronger core and more groundedness when face-to-face with an opponent. By the end of it all, Maisie was laying flat on her back in the soft grass, sweaty and tired.

“You okay?”

Maisie nodded, coughing into her arm. 

“No questions? You were really quiet,” Ben went over and sat next to Maisie. 

Maisie shook her head. They shared a pause together, listening to the soft wildlife sounds all around them. 

“How’re your reflexes?” Ben asked and suddenly swung his hand at Maisie, but she put her arm up to block him. Ben smirked, “Not bad, I see.” But Ben didn’t stop there. He swung his arms at Maisie at different parts of her body as she was laying down, quickly causing her to be alert. 

“Ben,” she whined and sat up, trying her best. When she didn’t block him, Ben pinched and poked whatever part of her he made contact with.

“You’re slipping,” Ben teased. Maisie was trying to fight back now, mostly trying to immobilize Ben’s hands. He was quick, though, she had to give him that.

Using a trick as old as time, Maisie shifted her gaze to the somewhat further distance behind Ben and she made her eyes go wide, pointing and gasping softly. And as the trick foretold, Ben turned his head around to look at what shocked Maisie so bad. Maisie pounced and she pinned Ben on his back, holding those damned wrists in her own hands now. She was giggling. 

“I cahan’t believe you fell for that!” 

“Not only are your reflexes pretty good, but you’re also conniving,” Ben smirked slightly, looking up at Maisie. 

“Did I learn from the best?”

“No no, don’t rope me in the same category as you.”

Maisie giggled again as she stared downward at Ben beneath her. The technician felt her cheeks heating up. _Oh come on! Stop with the first-timer nonsense, you’ve already kissed him!_ But it still didn’t feel… official. She knew there was still the large part of her that was hanging on hope to Poe and his affections. It was all turned on its head when Ben came into the picture. The less time she spent with Poe, and the more time she spent with Ben. She was sure if she was around Poe again for more than a day, her loyalties would trade themselves over once more. She was unstable with her affections. But for right here, right now… 

Maisie kissed Ben on the lips, her hands still pinning his wrists. Ben shut his eyes and kissed back. She felt so right. Ben bent his head forward so he could get as much of Maisie’s lips as he could without breaking. Maisie kissed Ben’s lips and then peppered smaller kisses over his cheeks and down to his neck, where she could feel his breath hitch up. Maisie then raised her head, her curls falling over her eyes. 

“I love you,” Ben whispered. 

That’s when Maisie let Ben’s wrists go and she leaned up, still straddling him. What could she say? Her heartbeat was rapid, her breath was short. She smiled at him, it was all she could do. She pushed his hair off of his forehead and pecked a tender kiss there, as well. Then she got off and stood up.

Ben felt like he was floating, everything was fuzzy. All he knew for certain was that he was immensely happy. There was no dark cloud in his head like normal. When he stood up, he wrapped his arms around Maisie and kissed the top of her head. Maisie hugged Ben in return, feeling so comforted by his presence. 

When Ben let go, which had to be coaxed slightly by Maisie, she started walking away from him, rubbing her stomach. She flashed him a smile before continuing her march to the food hall. Yes, she could easily speak to him now. But she’d learned to get by in silence all her life, so not speaking just came more naturally. Ben followed her eagerly, not wanting to be out of her sight for too long. 

Ben, feeling bold, figured it was his turn to reach for Maisie’s hand. He grasped it lovingly and he showed Maisie a smile when she looked up at him. Maisie felt warm inside again by this gesture. The irredeemable ex-Supreme Leader really came a long way in the affection department. She leaned up against Ben slightly as they walked, hand in hand. 

They got dinner together that night, and Maisie insisted they sit with Rose and some of her friends. Ben, apprehensive at first, caved in and he sat with other people. Kind of fun, if he was pressed to admit it. He mostly watched Maisie and her animated facial expressions as she tried to join in on the conversation, or when she laughed at something funny that was said. Ben understood in this moment why Maisie was the outsider. He’d met her when she did have her droid to translate, so it wasn’t overly strange. But strange nonetheless. But seeing her with no way of communicating… it broke his heart. He was even more driven now to help her master her Force communications so she could live her life to the fullest. And even if that somehow couldn’t happen fast enough, he already had plan B in the works. 

“Stop staring at me.”

Ben suddenly heard Maisie’s voice in his head and he looked across from him to see her trying to hold back a grin. 

“I can’t help it,” Ben communicated without having to move his lips.

He watched color rise to Maisie’s cheeks and he smiled to himself, looking down at his plate of dinner instead. 

They wrapped up their meal they all walked back to the bunks together, only splitting up to go to their beds. 

Maisie yawned as she got undressed for bed, wanting to rinse off before actually getting into bed after sweating all day in training. She cleaned up and slipped on a baggy shirt of hers to sleep in. She shook her wet hair out in her towel and hung it up to dry. With that routine all complete, just before she sat down in bed, she felt an arm wrap around her waist and yank her backwards. 

_Ben…_ she huffed and turned her head towards him, now sitting practically in his lap. 

“Can you sleep with me tonight?” brazen Ben was here and in full swing. He didn’t want to second guess himself or not take chances while he felt like this. 

“Ben, everyone has their own bunks, you don’t really see anyone sleeping together,” Maisie contended, already scanning the room to see if anyone was looking at them. 

“You… You really don’t want to?” this was the first doubt Ben had. 

Maisie looked at him and she shook her head, standing up off his lap, “Not right now, Ben. I’m sorry. Goodnight.” Maisie didn’t like being abrupt like that, but she laid down in her own bed and faced away from Ben. She felt self-conscious about putting how intimate she was getting with Ben out there for the whole base to know. She could’ve just told him that so she didn’t make him feel bad about himself… 

But the night wore on and Ben found a way to fall asleep on his own, though with troubling thoughts swimming in his head beforehand. Maisie, meanwhile, couldn’t get to sleep. She was too guilty. So, when the whole bunk was rattling with snores and sighs from the sleeping crew, Maisie crawled out of her bed and scooted her way into Ben’s bed. She saw him stir only barely in order to give her room to lay with him. Ben wrapped his arm around Maisie and he fit his body comfortably into hers, remaining asleep. Maisie smiled to herself and let out a deep, slow sigh. She felt much better. 

And that’s how they slept that night. With both of them tightly snug in each other’s arms but with other extraneous limbs and butts hanging off the very narrow cot. 


	25. Chapter 25

After an entire month, the Outer Rim crew returned back to base. No one was more excited for their homecoming than Maisie. Part of it was because she knew they only suffered a few injuries and lost two smaller fighter ships. And the other part was that she knew after a big mission like this, the crew liked to take breaks on missions unless it was a dire emergency. They’d be able to just hang out and strategize and relax for a long time. 

Maisie dragged Ben out to the tarmac as the ships burst through the atmosphere. Everyone started cheering already. 

Ben was happy. He wasn’t going to feign that. He was happy about not seeing the same old faces around anymore. But he was not happy about a multitude of other things. He wasn’t happy about how much more crowded the sleeping bunks would be, also meaning noisier. He wasn’t overly happy about Maisie reconnecting with Poe, for two reasons. One, he was never close with Poe, for good reason. And two, he didn’t know how Poe would react if he found out he was being intimate with Maisie. All these thoughts creeped into the forefront of Ben’s head so much so that he didn’t even realize the ships had landed until Maisie yanked him by his shirt collar to walk forward. 

The crews unloaded off their ships, many of them happy to be back and reuniting with friends. Maisie saw Poe exit off his ship and he was met with a large crowd congratulating and welcoming him back.

“You’re not gonna say hi?” Ben inquired as they stood back from the crowds.

“I’ll get to him when the masses part,” Maisie looked up at Ben, bouncing on her toes from nerves, “I want to speak with him, Ben.”

Ben looked down at Maisie. They’d attempted to strengthen that connection, but Ben made the call that she’d have to work on it with someone who didn’t already have the bond like they did. 

“Concentrate and let me know how it goes,” Ben stated as he watched crew scatter and either get to work putting away and cleaning up the ships or go off to spend time and reconnect with those who were on the mission. 

Maisie smirked and she stood in front of Ben, grabbing both his hands. Ben blushed immediately, not used to showing their affection out in public with this many people around. 

“Don’t be jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.”

Maisie wasn’t as afraid now, knowing zero crew had the time to stare at them. And if they did, they’d already seen them sleeping in the same cot on more than one night and hadn’t said anything about it. She stood up on her tiptoes to kiss Ben on the lips. It only took a matter of about ten seconds after they parted from the kiss for Maisie to hear a, “Hey,” from behind her. She let go of Ben and smiled wide, running up to Poe and hugging him. 

Poe would usually lift her up and spin her around to show how much he missed her. But he didn’t this time; he just held onto her tight and his eyes were zeroed in on Ben standing back. It was close to a glare. 

_Poe knows,_ Ben thought to himself, fearful. 

Maisie let Poe go and she was beaming. Poe finally focused his eyes back on Maisie and he put on his own dashing smile, “You look good. Your hair got longer.”

 _So did yours, actually. I like it,_ Maisie twirled Poe’s longer hair ends on her finger. 

“It’s good to be back.”

 _Good to have you back, general,_ Maisie smiled at Poe. Both times she really focused and wanted him to hear what she said, but it was obvious he didn’t. Well, can’t hurt to keep trying. 

“Come on, we’re gonna have a toast,” Poe put his arm around Maisie’s waist and led her away, showing no regard for Ben. Maisie turned her head around but kept walking with Poe; she waved her arm to beckon Ben. 

Ben took a deep, unsteady breath. He followed. 

Poe led Maisie to the hangar where all the crew from the mission was located as well as nearly all the base. He maneuvered his way up front with Maisie by his side and grabbed himself a glass of alcohol, passing one over to Maisie, as well. 

“Alright! Alright alright, stop,” Poe’s smile was wide and proud, “I just need to thank you all, every one of you, for handling this mission with determination and drive and strength. I couldn’t have asked for a better team. And I want to thank everyone back home here for keeping us afloat. Thanks to the run crews, the pilots, the engineers, the droids, damn near everybody! I want to also share a special thank you to my friend, Maisie. You got us here in the first place. This is all because of you,” he raised a glass to her and then leaned in and whispered in her ear, “We got ‘em, Mais…” and then maximum volume once more, “Cheers!” And the whole crew applauded and cheered and drank up. 

Maisie didn’t even put her drink to her lips, she just felt her chest well with emotion. Her hand started to shake but when Poe finished his drink he chuckled softly and cupped her hands in his, “We got ‘em. Wiped them out. Not all of it, though, you know how it is over there. We only got that small sector of Lirra, you know the one. In the northwestern—“ Poe was cut off when Maisie threw her arms around him, drink sloshing out of its cup. Poe hugged her back, tightly, burying his face into her shoulder. 

Ben was standing off to the side of the hangar, drink in hand that someone passed to him. He touched it to his lips, sipping it. He didn’t take his eyes off Maisie. _I helped on that very important mission, too, you know,_ his bitchy, petty mind came out when Poe toasted to just Maisie. And she just couldn’t stop hugging him, could she?

A big furry hand slapped Ben’s shoulder a bit hard and it sent Ben reeling forward. He looked up at Chewbacca. 

“Good to see you, too… What, you want a medal? … No, I’m not— I am not jealous!” 

Chewie seemed to laugh as he walked away from a slightly bothered Ben Solo. When he looked back up to where Maisie last was, he couldn’t spot her.

Poe had pulled Maisie behind one of the larger ships in the vicinity. When he asked if he could speak to her, Maisie was immediately very excited because she’d have some more of a quiet setting to try and speak with Poe. 

“Mais…” Poe looked at her, his tone becoming serious. Maisie’s own brimming facial expression fell. “Did I really see what I thought I saw?”

Maisie rose a brow, _Gonna have to be more specific than that._

Poe half-rolled his eyes, seeing her confused expression, “You know what I mean. You and… him.”

Maisie didn’t think Poe saw them at all. She didn’t expect to have to actually address this… ever. She just wanted to live under a bubble where her two lives wouldn’t intersect. Maisie put her finger over Poe’s lips, wanting him to wait before he jumped to any conclusions. She then tapped her temple. Poe didn’t understand what she meant, but he stayed silent for her. Maisie took big, deep breaths. And she closed her eyes. It took her a few extra seconds for her to blur out the noise of talking down by the entrance of the hangar, but she did it. She heard clinking of glasses and hissing of steam pipes way up on the ceiling instead. Maisie didn’t dare attempt anything until she felt that tingle in her fingertips. She opened her eyes, exhaling. 

_Poe?_

Maisie waited to see the realization on Poe’s face. But nothing. _Poe? Poe!_

Poe tilted his head, giving Maisie hope. But he didn’t say anything. Maisie blinked a few times in a row in disappointed shock. 

“Mais, what are you doing?”

Maisie shook her head, stomping her foot on the floor in frustration. She scratched her scalp through her thick curls as she tried to not get too upset over this. She’d been training and practicing. She thought she was ready. 

“You didn’t answer me about him.”

 _He has a name,_ Maisie now looked right at Poe, seeing his defensive stance and look. She hated when he looked like that. It just made her want to smack him. 

Maisie gave her head a single nod, hoping it was vague enough. Poe ran his own fingers through his hair and then over his face.

“You… was I really gone that long that you felt the need to hook up with an enemy?”

 _He’s not an enemy!_ Maisie made her whole face frown deeply. 

“What were you thinking?” Poe sounded like he was whining and scolding her, “He’s no good for you, Mais.”

 _Well, maybe if you got to know him for five seconds you’d change your mind!_ Maisie was angry now. Oh how easily Poe Dameron could make her switch her emotions. 

“I don’t want to see you around him.”

 _Excuse me!?_ Maisie was outraged at this, _You’re not the boss of me!_

Poe couldn’t hear her words but he saw everything in her eyes, “Mais,” he held her hands, “I only want what’s best for you. Always. And Kylo Ren isn’t it.”

 _You can’t tell me what to do! You’re delusional!_ Oh how she wished her droid was here at the very least. 

“Consider it. Please.”

Maisie ripped her hands from Poe’s grip and she glared at him. _Well… maybe if you’d just made a move first after all this time we wouldn’t be in this position,_ her eyes welled with tears. 

“Glad you see it my way,” Poe placed a comforting hand on Maisie’s shoulder, completely and horribly misreading her looks this time. It was the first time in a long time he was this off. He then walked off to leave her to think things over, at least in his mind. 

Maisie growled in frustration to let some out. She wasn’t going to listen to Poe. But she didn’t want to stay mad at him either. There was just too much going on in her head. Maybe if she just explained herself to Poe with words he wouldn’t be so— 

“There you are,” Ben’s voice came from behind Maisie as she was busy pacing, “Everything okay?”

How could she tell him Poe doesn’t approve? It sounded so stupid, to need his permission… but in that stupid way, to Maisie it mattered. 

Maisie just nodded, now not even in the mood to talk. _It didn’t work._

“Did you speak to Poe?”

“It didn’t work,” she spoke aloud now, and Ben heard a tone in her voice that Maisie couldn’t hide. She was upset about something.

“I’m sorry. I know how badly you wanted it to work. I was thinking about it and maybe it’s not a matter of skill. I think I owe you a bigger apology,” Ben looked at Maisie in the eyes when she finally looked back at him, “I overestimated what the Force could do. I don’t think it can make this better. You have to have an established connection with someone.”

“A Force connection?”

Ben nodded, “It seems like only you and I can do this.”

Maisie pursed her lips together, not sure if she could handle more bad news. All she wanted was to have Poe hear her for once in her life. To see his face when he heard the sound of her voice for the first time, not a droid’s emotionless drone of a voice. Her voice. 

“Then maybe he would’ve fell in love with me,” Maisie was certain she kept that to herself, even thinking it in a whisper. But Ben knew he heard something, a muttering. Something about falling in love.

“What?”

“What?” Maisie looked up at Ben, a bit surprised, “Nothing.” _Shit!_

“You want to get out of here?”

Maisie sighed but she shook her head, “No. I missed these people. I want to spend time with them. But you can go if you feel—“

“No, I’ll stay. I’ll stay with you,” now Ben reached down to hold Maisie’s hand. Maisie stared up at Ben. Her eyes hadn’t ceased their glossy hue since being confronted by Poe. She squeezed Ben’s hand and brought it up to her lips and kissed the back of his hand. 

“Thank you,” she said to him before guiding him back out to where everyone else was, hand in hand. She wasn’t going to back down due to how Poe felt. It was her life, dammit. 

Maisie tried mingling for a lot more of the evening into nighttime. It was surprisingly easy considering how many people actually came up to her to talk to her. They were curious about the mission, and she would defer to Ben at her side when she couldn’t give a verbal answer. He was there, too, so his account was just as valuable. 

Night soon fell and people dispersed to go to bed. Maisie wanted to stay as late as possible, which surprised Ben. But he remained by her side. Maisie wound up helping clean up the hangar after this big party of sorts. When that was done and there was literally nothing left to dwell on, Maisie left with Ben, holding his hand again. She let one finger trace patterns back and forth on Ben’s palm as they walked. His hand clenched and pulled away from hers.

Maisie looked up at Ben with that sudden reaction and she tilted her head. She eyed his hand and then immediately smirked.

“No…”

“Shut up.”

“Ben!”

“Please don’t.”

“That is the cutest thing ever!”

“It really isn’t, you caught me off guard.”

“No, I don’t think so! You’re just really sensitive everywhere, huh, Solo?”

 _Ohh, now she settled in with the teasing. Great._ Ben was playing keep away with his hands as he ran away from Maisie, with her chasing after him and giggling. When Ben stopped, he was just messing with her now. He drew his hands close to his chest, above his head, towards the ground, behind his back. And it all just made Maisie laugh. They were skipping around like fools in the middle of the night in the pitch black base, a lamp overhead just barely illuminating them. 

“Jeherk!”

Ben started chuckling, too. When they both got tired, Maisie just looked at Ben from a few feet away. She was smiling brightly. As she took the steps to go up to Ben, she saw a few figures moving towards them quickly from the distance. 

“You stay away from her,” it was Poe, closely followed by Finn. Poe walked right up to Ben and stood in his face, despite being shorter than him. He pointed a warning finger in Ben’s face.

“What are you talking about?” Ben asked, annoyed by this sudden interruption. 

“She knows what I’m talking about. I don’t like you,” Poe continued, “I don’t want you messing with Maisie.”

“I can live my own fucking life, you idiot!” Maisie took her own steps forward but Finn stepped in front of her.

“It’s better if you just listen to him, Maisie,” Finn butt in.

“Maisie can decide what Maisie wants,” Ben countered both Poe and Finn. He hadn’t flinched, hadn’t backed down, not one bit. 

“Yeah, but this is my decision. So back the fuck off,” Poe shoved Ben’s chest and Maisie moved forward again.

“Poe! Stop it!”

Ben could hear everything Maisie was saying in his defense, but he knew no one else could, “She wants you to stop.”

“Oho! But ‘Maisie can decide what Maisie wants’, right? You don’t know what she wants—“

“I do, actually,” Ben was remaining calm, not raising his voice. 

“Ben, don’t provoke him,” Maisie warned, standing behind Finn. 

“She says I shouldn’t provoke you,” Ben hadn’t stopped staring at Poe. 

Poe looked back at Maisie briefly, “I can’t tell if you’re serious or if you’re just being even more of an inconsiderate prick. So how about we end the games and you just shut up and walk away. Go back to your weird murder hut out away from civilization and leave us all alone. I don’t trust you. And I’m not gonna put the trust of someone I hold dearest to me in your disgraceful hands.”

“My disgraceful hands? Poe, these hands have been closer to her than you have ever been,” Ben spoke dangerously low, signifying he was on the edge. 

Poe seemed to think that tipped him over the breaking point and he swung a fist at Ben, but Ben dodged it. Soon, the two were fist fighting.

“Get off! You’re both so stupid, get off!” Maisie pushed past Finn and she tried to get involved to break them up, but Finn held her back as he went in to pull Poe off of Ben, who he was wailing on pretty badly. 

“You think you’re worthy of her!?” Poe was screaming now at Ben who was on the ground, bleeding from the nose, “It was under your oh so magnanimous First Order that her whole family was killed!”

“Shut up!” Ben spat back.

“Oh yeah, you didn’t know?” _Poe, stop!_ “While they were waiting for their Chosen One to lead them, they held slaves, they pillaged, they destroyed homes and families, they raped… you didn’t even know, so don’t you dare say you even come close to knowing her as much as I do.”

“Poe, enough,” even Finn tried calming his friend. Poe went to Maisie and grabbed her arm, pulling her away from Ben, who was still on the floor, prone.

“Ben, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Maisie cried and she looked back at him as she was being pulled away. Her face was stained with tears but she was so mad at Poe. She fought his grip and started pounding on his arm and back. _Let me go!_

Maisie wrenched herself free and angrily hit and swung punches at Poe some more until she collapsed into his chest and cried. She didn’t want Ben to know about her past that way. Never in her wildest imagination did she ever want it to go down like that. Nor was she prepared to hear about it again tonight. Poe held her as she cried. 

Poe guided Maisie to his area in the bunkers with all the other pilots, which was coincidentally on the opposite side from where Maisie and Ben slept. 

_You planned all that,_ Maisie glared at Poe as he forced her to sit in a bed, _You knew you were going to attack Ben like that._

“Stop looking at me like that, you know I’m right.”

_Right about what!?_

“I’m protecting you from him. Come on, Mais, get some rest,” Poe was handed ice by a pilot and he pressed it to his cheek. Ben got him good during the fight, which Maisie knew was the least he deserved. 

_I’d like to sleep in my own bed, thank you very much,_ and as Maisie stood off the bed, Poe placed her back down. Maisie huffed. She angrily laid down in the bed, her back towards Poe. It took a lot of time to keep her mind from racing. Her mind quieted around the same time the bunk quieted, all the lights gone out. And while she wanted to rush out and see Ben, the smarter part of her knew to just lay there and try to sleep. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if she stirred up trouble again. And so Maisie laid on that cot, fully clothed and shoes on, on top of the sheets, and she was able to find sleep through sheer exhaustion. 


	26. Chapter 26

Maisie woke after hearing a crash and she jolted up with a start, blinking her eyes open. She didn’t feel like she was in a familiar place and remembered why after seeing Poe getting dressed in the bed beside her. She really didn’t want to be mad at him, she really _really_ didn’t. But he screwed up too bad this time. Maisie just laid in her bed, not wanting to interact. And Poe didn’t notice she was awake until he finished dressing and turned around.

“Hey,” he said. _Oh that stupid sexy voice…_

Maisie rolled over in her bed so she didn’t have to look at Poe. 

“Aw, don’t be mad at me,” Poe sat himself at the edge of Maisie’s bed, resting a hand on her hip. Maisie folded her arms tighter around herself.

“Oh, so it’s the silent treatment, huh?”

Maisie bit the inside of her cheek so she wouldn’t smile. That was a very old inside joke between the two of them. Or rather, not as inside as obvious. 

Poe sighed, “You’ll thank me eventually. So come on, get up. What’s on the agenda today?” he tugged on some of Maisie’s blankets. 

_Training_ , she thought, a bit smugly. Maisie got out of bed and brought her belongings to the showers with her so she could wash up and get dressed. All the while she was trying to formulate different ways she could see Ben without Poe knowing about it. At least for the time being, since she didn’t think it wise to force friendship upon the two of them right after they beat each other the previous night. 

Maisie found her way back to Poe’s bunk, though she did get a little lost along the way. Poe seemed to be waiting for her. _What, you don’t have anything better to do today?_

“Finally,” Poe teased, “Come on, I’m starving.”

He started walking but stopped when Maisie didn’t follow him, “Look,” he walked back up to her and dropped his voice, “I’m being a little overprotective, okay? I know.” _You think?_ “But I also miss you, Mais. I feel like we haven’t been together in a long time. Is it a sin that I want to spend time with you?”

 _Yes, considering you just banned me from seeing someone I care about._ Maisie sighed and she pushed some hair off her forehead. She held her hand out, _Lead away._

Poe started walking again and this time Maisie followed. She was keeping her eyes peeled for any signs of Ben, but nothing. She got herself a plate of food and sat with Poe and his friends. 

“You okay after last night?” it was Finn who asked her that, sitting across from her. She gave a small shrug of her shoulders. As she ate, she didn’t really show much interest in what the group was talking about.

Then she heard Ben say, “Good morning.” Maisie’s head shot up and she looked around. She knew he was communicating in her head but he had to at least be in close proximity for her to hear him, right? She focused a little better and replied, “Hey.”

“Are you alright? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“No. No, he would never hurt me,” Maisie replied but then thought about it, _Maybe only emotionally._

“Last night did not go how I expected.”

“Me either. I’m sorry. You honestly could’ve hurt him more than you actually did, he deserved it.”

Ben chuckled to himself outwardly. He was seated by himself far away from Maisie at her table but strategically behind a very large crew member of another species so he wouldn’t be seen.

“What Poe said about your past in relation to the First Order—“ 

“No, no. Ben. Stop, please,” Maisie tapped her spoon into the bottom of her bowl a few times, “Let’s not talk about that right now, please. Drop it.”

While Ben very much did not want to drop it, he obeyed, not wanting to cause Maisie agitation. So, instead he decided to go after Poe again. 

“He’s a punk, Maisie.”

Maisie smiled to herself, “I know.”

“You still think we can be best buddies?”

Maisie ducked her face into her bowl of yogurt to hide her smile now, “Alright, smartass. But give it time, you’ll see.”

“He’s really not letting you get away from him?”

Maisie swirled her spoon around in her food, “No. He’s watching me like a hawk today. Says it’s because he misses me and wants to spend more time with me.”

“Cute.”

Maisie nearly snorted and she shook her head, still keeping it ducked, now adding a hand to cover her mouth, “You’re really snarky today and it’s actually very funny. It’s also very distracting, so cut it out.”

“Oh wow, I seem to recall not too long ago you actually called me a black hole of joy, so this is quite the turnaround.”

“Mais?” 

Maisie listened to Ben talk and almost laughed again but she was drawn out of her conversation by Poe looking right at her with questioning eyes. Her own eyes went wide, seeing the other guys at the table staring her way. Her cheeks flushed. 

“I asked which ship you think is the superior one: X-wing or TIE fighter? Hey, shut it, she knows.”

Maisie knew Poe knew her answer. She tapped on the table twice for TIE fighter. And then he proceeded to defend her choice with pride against all his doubting friends. She heard Poe use her own defense about it many times, saying, “It is! It’s the better-made ship! But then when you look at pilots, it’s a different story. A great pilot in an X-wing can do a hell of a lot of damage, but the ship’s only as good as the pilot anyway. So, TIE wins.”

Maisie zoned out of the jabbering about ship quality and she put another large spoonful of her yogurt in her mouth. 

“Everything okay?” she heard Ben again. She rolled her eyes.

“No! Your stupidity made me look freaking mental! They all saw me just smiling to myself like an idiot!”

Ben was now laughing in his own area by himself, but he disguised it as a cough to those sitting around him, “You have to learn how to hide that better. But you do make the best facial expressions when you talk to me like this.”

“Oh, just shut up.”

“I already miss you.”

Maisie smiled at that one. She looked off into the distance and just smiled. 

“Hey, we’re leaving,” Poe touched his hand to Maisie’s shoulder. She really was out of it today. Maisie looked up at Poe and she nodded, taking one last bite of her breakfast before throwing her things away. She turned and took one look around to see if she could spot Ben. She couldn’t. 

“Talk to you later,” she wished Ben and walked away with Poe. 

“I’ll see you soon enough,” Ben said back to her and peeked out from behind his hiding spot to watch her go. 

Poe walked out of the food hall with his buddies and Maisie. And then he bid them goodbye, just leaving him and Maisie. 

“I meant it when I said I wanted to spend time with you. Finn and Cypress will hold down the fort. It’s a beautiful day.”

Maisie saw Poe really meant these words. It wasn’t just him covering yet again for why he tore her away from Ben, though she was certain that was a plus for Poe. 

“Get some comfy clothes and we’ll take a speeder and go off to who knows where.”

Maisie kept eyeing Poe, many thoughts in her head.

“And I promise there will be no one else,” Poe grinned, knowing Maisie well enough to know her as a loner who didn’t like big crowds, “Just you and me.”

And those words were enough to get Maisie’s heart fluttering. _Dammit, Maisie! Stop it!_ And her loyalties were out the window, like she knew they’d be. She nodded and quickly went off to the bunks to get a change of clothes. Now Maisie was hoping she _wouldn’t_ run into Ben, already feeling a little guilty that she was succumbing to Poe’s whims so easily. She changed her clothes and packed water and some snacks she had buried under her cot for late-night snacking. She then looked over at Ben’s cot and rifled around through some of his things, finding a few pieces of paper. She put those in her knapsack along with a pen of her own before meeting back up with Poe. She threw her bag into the back of the speeder and got on behind Poe. And they were off. Maisie shut her eyes, not having felt the wind whipping through her hair like this in ages. Not since the last time she was on a speeder with Poe. It was funny how life repeats itself. 

Poe kept their drive on the safer side, zipping along the edges of the forests dotting Ajan Kloss. He drove them into an open, grassy expanse of flat earth. At the far end in the distance, there was a pool. It wasn’t the same one with the waterfall located within the forests of this inhabited moon. Poe got them to this small body of water and realized it was sandy the closer they got to the water. 

_Wow,_ Maisie thought to herself when she opened her eyes upon arrival. She hopped off the speeder and pulled her knapsack over her shoulder. It was so quiet around here, she was almost skeptical of it. Like some killer animal would pounce on them after stalking them at any moment. The sun was bright, overhead, and beating down on them. 

Poe started removing clothing once his boots hit the sand. He tossed off his boots and socks, his jacket, and then his shirt. He rolled up his pants up to his calves last. Maisie was a bit more conservative. She discarded her shoes and didn’t have to roll anything up because she was already wearing shorts. Poe dug through his own pack that he put in the knapsack and pulled out a large blanket. He draped that over the shockingly soft sand and gestured for Maisie to sit. _How thoughtful._

Maisie sat herself down on the blanket and leaned back on her elbows, squinting at the scenery all around them. Poe took a seat beside Maisie, sharing the blanket with her. 

“You know what this reminds me of? Selvaris. You remember?”

Maisie smiled softly and nodded.

“That place was paradise… tropical, warm, clear waters, sand even softer than this,” Poe picked up a handful of sand in his left hand and let it run through his fingers.

Maisie reached into her bag and pulled out the crumpled paper she stole from Ben’s bunk and her own pen and started writing, _“That was a long time ago.”_

“You're damn right it was,” Poe said after leaning over and reading Maisie’s handwriting, “Too long. That was really early on when we first met, right?”

Maisie nodded. It really was. She’d been a part of the Resistance for maybe a week at the time. She didn’t have any droid translating for her, no one really knew what to do with her, so they just put her on a generic scope out mission that Poe was leading. And he was the only one to ever talk to her as if nothing was different about her. 

“Oh, do you remember that kid? That crazy kid, thinking he could skydive off our ship before we even broke the atmosphere?”

Maisie smiled at the memory and she wrote down the name.

“Percy! Yeah, Percy, that’s it!” Poe laughed, “I wonder whatever happened to that kid.”

Maisie shrugged and she laid down flat on her back, laying a hand over her eyes to guard them from the sun. She was starting to feel more at ease. This was just like the old days. 

* * *

“Have you seen Maisie?” when more crew gave Ben shakes of their head, he sighed and walked off. He’d been asking around since he hadn’t seen her since breakfast. Ben took large steps all around the base, in search of Maisie and Poe. 

Finn was off in the distance in the main control room where their historians and data analysts worked. He was monitoring new leads they may have caught for First Order supporters elsewhere in their own system. He saw Ben heading his way. Finn rubbed the back of his neck. He informed his crew that he’d be stepping out for a second and he went off to meet up with Ben. 

Ben didn’t want to really speak to Finn about this, since he knew he was on Poe’s side. But if anyone knew where they were, it probably would be Finn.

“Have you seen Maisie?”

Finn nodded and he tilted his head to the side, “Let’s go for a walk.”

“She’s okay, though, right?”

“She’s okay.”

Ben obliged and he walked beside Finn, neither moving with any urgency. 

“She’s with Poe,” Finn stated, “But I think you already knew that.”

“Deep down I guess I did,” Ben responded, looking straight out ahead of him at the large tarmac before them, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why is Dameron doing this?”

Finn glanced over at Ben, “I think he made it pretty clear last night.”

Ben huffed, “No, I’m serious. Why?”

Finn pursed his lips together before saying, “He doesn’t trust you. You tortured him during the war, you’ve gotten a lot of his friends killed,” he wasn’t holding back the anger in his own voice, “He doesn’t want anything to do with you.”

Ben shook his head and countered, “I apologized for all of that. To you, too.”

Finn nodded, “You did. And that got you a place on our base planet. An apology can only get you so far.”

“It can’t make people magically like me.”

“No, it can’t. But it’s been a year.”

Ben turned to look at Finn, a bit of shock evident in his eyes. Was Finn going where he thought he was going? Finn shifted direction and he walked off the tarmac and to some stone pillars protruding from the ground. He sat beneath one of the fatter ones to get some shade from the burning sun. Ben gingerly sat beside him, unsure if that was okay. But it turns out it was. 

“Poe doesn’t want you taking Maisie away from him.”

Ben sighed and he ran his fingers through his hair, “She’s not a possession.”

“I agree with you there,” Finn stated and he folded his knees up to his chest, “He thinks you aren’t good for her. It goes back to the lack of trust.”

“And what do you think?” Ben’s whole body felt weighed down by the dejectedness of his predicament. 

“I just want to know why her?”

* * *

“Why him?”

Maisie was taken aback by the sudden question. They’d been having normal conversation up to this point, both content tanning in the sun. Maisie had removed her shirt so her upper body could get a more even tan with a thin tank top beneath.

Poe’s face looked stricken. He barely moved his head to look at Maisie, but his eyes were on her. _Why him?_ she thought. 

“You’re smart, you’re responsible, you’re the most level-headed person I know. So, why him?”

Maisie felt an attack coming. She sat up and grabbed her pen and paper. She flattened it over her thigh and poised herself to write. But what could she say? _He made the move first, so you missed out. Oh, and by the way, I can use the Force. So he helps me with that._

 _“There’s something big that I can’t tell you about yet,”_ she wrote down, not wanting to address the Force thing until she could actually speak to him. Even though that seemed like a pipe dream by now. 

“Did he get you pregnant?” Poe asked, astonished and shocked and in a much higher-pitched tone than he normally spoke in. Maisie laughed at that and she shook her head. 

_“Not pregnant, idiot,”_ she wrote, smirking. 

“You still didn’t answer my question,” Poe reminded Maisie. 

* * *

“I’ve felt a connection to her ever since I met her. Similar to the one I had with Rey,” Ben touched that subject lightly, “I’ve felt drawn to her and then I just got to know her and… she’s pretty much the only good thing I have in my life right now.”

Finn listened to Ben, but his brow was furrowed. Bringing up Rey always made him emotional. He put some pieces together, “You’re saying Maisie has the Force.”

Ben nodded, “She does. I’m helping her learn more about it so she can use it.”

“I’m sure Poe doesn’t know about that.”

Ben shook his head, “No, no one knows. Unless she’s telling him about it now, wherever they are.”

“So… right now it just sounds like the Force is the only thing you two have in common. Which I personally don’t think is very healthy—“

“No!” Ben defended immediately, “No, it’s not just that. She’s made me feel whole again, and truthfully, I don’t know that I ever felt whole in my entire life. Even with Rey. I was fighting to be there with her, to feel that togetherness. But that never happened. Maisie showed me how to laugh again, how to have a personality of my own, how to socialize again; she’s showed me this base like I’ve never known it and I’ve been here for a while now. She’s made me… me,” Ben took a breath before dropping his voice down to a whisper, looking towards the distance, “I love her,” then he looked down at his lap. 

* * *

_“Ben is so sweet to me. Every time I’m with him I’m learning something new. He makes me feel really good about myself. He’s goofy looking,”_ Maisie smiled to herself as she wrote out all the things she loved about Ben, _“But I like that. It makes him unique. He makes me laugh. He compliments me all the time. But he’s also not afraid to push my buttons. He’s sensitive,”_ she tapped her pen on the paper to think about what else she could write about him, _“Ben just wants to be loved. And that’s where I come in.”_ She handed the paper over to Poe.

* * *

Finn let the silence after Ben finished speaking sit. He watched a big breeze shudder some leaves on trees, making some cascade around them. 

“What I said earlier about you being here a year… I was implying that I think it’s time I forgive you,” Finn spoke firmly, “You’ve proved yourself to this base, to the Resistance. You’re not apathetic, you clearly feel and show love. I forgive you, Ben.”

Ben took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, “I-I tried to save her,” his voice cracked but he willed it away, “I tried to Force heal her. But it was too late. I’m sorry, Finn.”

Finn bit his lower lip and shut his eyes, bobbing his head up and down, like he was trying to balance it, “Rey was strong as hell. She knew what she was doing. And now we’re all still here because of her, living in a world of her hopes and dreams. Your turning keeps her memory alive.”

Ben nodded and he squeezed his eyes with his forefinger and a thumb, not wanting to cry right now. He cleared his throat when he bid his sorrow away. 

“I feel it in you, too, you know.”

“What?” Finn asked.

“The Force.”

Finn stared at Ben and he huffed, stretching his legs out in front of him, “How long did it take you to figure that out?”

Ben’s lips quirked into a smile, “A little longer than it probably should have. You ever have feelings about certain things? Like good or bad?”

Finn nodded, “All the damn time. But no one ever listens to me.”

Ben chortled, “That part has nothing to do with the Force, that’s just a lack of charisma.”

Finn even smiled now, “Maybe I can enlist you for training help, as well.”

“I’d be honored.”

They sat in silence for a bit longer when Finn said, “I’m hungry. You want to grab some lunch?”

Ben watched Finn stand up and he looked at the outstretched hand in front of his face. He took it and was pulled to his feet, “Yeah.”

They walked back to the busier sections of their base, cutting through to get to the food hall. 

“Just a heads up, Poe might be sending you on a mission far away from here that might take some time. But I’ll try to talk him down on the amount of days.”

Ben smiled at that gesture and he simply said, “As long as I get to see Maisie when I get back, I’ll go wherever he wants me to go.”

* * *

“I think I fit all of this criteria _and_ I’m not First Order. So, clearly, I’m the better specimen.”

Maisie rolled her eyes and frowned, reaching to get her paper back from Poe. _Well, if you’re gonna be a dick about it…_ But he held it away from her. Then Poe looked at her writing again. 

“You’ve known the guy a little less than a month. And you really care this much about him?”

Maisie nodded her head. _We’ve surprisingly been through a lot together in this one month._ Maisie couldn’t quite place what emotions were running through Poe’s head. She was watching him deliberate with himself, and he was really having a rough time with it. Was it him who was jealous now? Was it just a visceral hatred for Ben that had little to nothing to do with her? 

“You know how close we are. I’m closer to you than anyone alive right now. I love you to death,” Poe reached his hand over and put it on top of Maisie’s, “I always will. I guess you could say I’m… jealous?”

Maisie smirked at that and Poe saw it, “Hey, I’m trying to be sentimental here. No laughing,” but Poe smiled himself, “I didn’t think you could get close to anyone else besides me. It sounds horrible, I know, and I’m sorry. I wanted you to make friends and be social! God, I’ve wanted that for you ever since I met you and I saw your terrified face and knew you couldn’t communicate like everyone else. And for so long, you were just close to me and only me. I liked that. You got me. And I like to think I got you. But if freaking Kylo Ren is getting you out of your shell, then…” Poe sat upright and he traced a finger through the sand to the left of him, leaving Maisie unable to see his face, “What I’m saying is I’m not the boss of you. I don’t control you. If you want him, then go ahead—“ he looked back over at Maisie when he felt her hold his arm and she was smiling at him, “But I’m still gonna be keeping a close watch.”

Maisie half-heartedly rolled her eyes and she scooted over on the blanket and hugged Poe. He hugged her back and ruffled her fluffy hair with his hand. Maisie leaned up and gave him a peck on the cheek before reaching over and snatching her paper back from his hand. She wrote down a quick, _“I’m gonna force you two to talk.”_

“Hell no! You ain’t the boss of me either! Two-way road."

Maisie huffed, _“If you love me as much as you say you do, you’re gonna make the effort,”_ she eyed him with the challenge at hand. Poe groaned. She had a point.

“Alright. But don’t get smug about it.”

Maisie chuckled and she folded up her paper and put it away in her knapsack. Then she stood up and walked towards the water. She walked in up to her calves and sighed, leaning down to get her hands wet and pat water elsewhere on her body. Without warning, she heard a mild splash behind her and then she was swooped up in Poe’s arms as he trudged deeper into the still waters. Maisie struggled like her life depended on it.

 _Poe! You fucking asshole! Please don’t! Please please, these are the only clothes I brought wi—_ she couldn’t finish her thought because she was dropped into the cold water. She popped back up sputtering and pushing her now wet hair out of her face. Poe was also fully wet but he was laughing. _I hate you._

Maisie swam closer to Poe and got close enough without making him suspicious, and she slammed a whole lot of water into his face. Now it was her turn to laugh. When Poe started to charge back at her, Maisie made a beeline for the shore. She ran far enough to make it to the sand and she turned around to see where Poe was. He seemed to want to stay in the water.

Maisie stood in the sand and made faces at Poe to instigate him. Poe laughed at her, “You’re really asking for it, aren’t you?” Maisie wiggled her butt at Poe in response to that. And just like that, the pilot was out of the water and running across the sand, kicking up tons of it with his heels. Maisie took a second to gain her footing before also running. She suddenly stopped her running and turned around, standing her ground. Poe ran right into her and they toppled over into their blanket. 

With both laughing now, Maisie held her chest, _I can’t believe you just ran into me! You’re like a bull!_

Poe was giggling away, atop of Maisie, probably crushing her but he didn’t care. Maisie was calming from the running and the laughter, just staring at Poe. The man was truly beautiful, she always thought that and she always will think that. And now with water dripping from his wet curls, his body glistening with it, it was just a really hot moment. Maisie made eye contact with Poe and her eyes flitted to his lips and back. She didn’t seem to even notice she did that.

“You gonna kiss me again?” Poe teased lightheartedly. 

_Again?_ Maisie looked genuinely confounded. 

“Oho! You don’t remember?” Poe got off of Maisie and shook his hair out, spraying water droplets everywhere. 

_Poe, when the fuck did I kiss you?_ now Maisie’s heart was racing. _How could I not remember something like that!? That’s been my goddamn dream since I met you!_

“Remember the night before we left for our mission? The bonfire? Noho, you probably don’t,” Poe chuckled, “You were wasted and you kissed me. No big deal, I was just poking fun.”

 _Big deal! Yes, big deal! Very big deal!_ Maisie couldn’t tell just how insane she was looking right now or how wide her eyes were. _Was it a long kiss? A sloppy one? Did I make stupid noises? Was it a great kiss? Details!_

“Hey! Calm down! It’s not a big deal. I really didn’t know you totally blacked out,” Poe was still chortling to himself, finding the whole thing funny, “Well, now you got me out here and I’m all sandy. So thanks.”

Maisie shook her head out and just tried to think of something else. She must have been _really_ fucked up that night if she wasn’t able to remember a kiss with Poe. She flopped onto her back on the blanket and just stared at the sky, whose sun was not overhead anymore. She just couldn’t understand her life anymore, hard as she tried. Thoughts and memories were either forcefully forgotten or jumbled, and forget about feelings making any sense whatsoever. 

Something tapped Maisie’s arm and she looked over to see Poe was offering her a protein bar. Maisie took it with a small smile and dug in, now aware that she was hungry. 

The day wore on into sunset and that’s when Poe and Maisie packed up. Maisie was happy to be returning to the base. She patched things up with Poe and he promised her he would work on how he acts around Ben. 

“Hey,” Poe started speaking when the speeder was parked and the two were walking to the bunks, “If you want to… I mean since you’re staying with everyone in the bunks now… You can stay over by me and the other guys. You can offer it up to Solo if he’s interested, too,” he added that last part while fighting a grumble. Maisie smiled and she nudged herself into Poe. _You’re getting soft, Dameron._

Maisie gave Poe a hug and he gave her a kiss on the cheek when they bid goodnight to each other. He lifted the ban on her and Ben, luckily. She was happy that didn’t last long. Maisie eagerly ran through the bunks to make it back to her corner spot with Ben. But he wasn’t there when she arrived. Maisie frowned and huffed. But she saw all of Ben’s things still around the cot, so she knew he was at least still around. She gathered a few choice clothes and cleansing items and made her way to the showers to clean off all the sand on her body before bed. 

Maisie cleansed herself, hearing many other showers running at the same time. And she exited the shower stall with a towel wrapped around herself. As she headed to a changing booth she spotted a freshly showered Ben heading in the same direction. Maisie beamed and she ran up behind him and tased his sides, “Boo!”

Ben shot around and he gathered Maisie up in a hug, lifting her off the ground, “Is this illegal? Should we not be doing this?”

Maisie giggled and she kissed his cheek, “No, we’ve got the go-ahead… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you fresh from the shower except for that night you were drunk.”

Ben grinned, “Can I say that I didn’t miss you?” he lowered her back to the ground and Maisie chuckled at his cheekiness. 

“You look good, Ben Solo,” she teased. They changed in stalls next to each other and Ben hugged Maisie again when she came out of hers. Then they walked back to the bunks hand-in-hand. 

“You’ll never guess the day I had,” Ben said as he pulled the scratchy bedsheets over himself.

Maisie smiled from her own cot and faced Ben, “And you’ll never guess mine.”

“We’ll save this for tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” Maisie agreed. Everything was feeling right again.


	27. Chapter 27

Ben had a dream about his mother that night. It was brief and nothing of note happened in it. He would be walking with her as he knew her later in her life, but then it switched and she was suddenly much taller and younger. It was like he was a child and she was how he remembered her before he was sent away. And then his dad was there, exactly how he remembered him from his youth. And they were both smiling and happy about something. Ben couldn’t believe it, but he felt content to be with them again. This wasn’t them bickering or fighting about causes and responsibilities. This was what he imagined to be a loving family. 

“We love you, Ben,” came Leia’s dreamy voice. It seemed to echo and waver, like the light surrounding her was soon doing. 

“We love you so much, son,” then Han spoke with that same underwater sound quality. Ben watched his parents fade out, but both looking happy and most importantly, proud. 

Ben blinked his eyes open, recognizing the darkness shrouding him. It must have been very late in the night. His eyes searched the ceiling way above him while his ears started hearing snores and creaks in the cots. Ben also noticed his eyelashes were wet. When he touched just under his right eye and felt his cheek, he felt tears. _Why don’t I remember crying?_

Ben took a deep breath and pressed his hands to his eyes. _Oh… well now there are more tears._ _Great._ Ben rolled over onto his side and hugged his pillow tightly, sniffling. It was like he couldn’t contain the free-flowing teardrops leaving his brown eyes. It was the ‘I love you’s’. That’s what did it. Was he really worthy of love? He still wasn’t 100% certain he had Maisie’s love. And he held no memories of his parents telling him they love him. This dream or vision or whatever it happened to be really hit him in a sensitive spot. It was what he needed to hear. 

“Love you too,” he whispered aloud, just barely audible. Ben laid still and didn’t move the rest of the night, falling asleep again not long after.

* * *

Ben was woken by a rather rough shaking of his arm. And it was still dark out… odd. Ben rubbed the crud out of his eyes, which had formulated from his tears earlier. When his eyesight adjusted, he saw Finn standing over him.

“Everything alright?” Ben looked over to make sure Maisie was there, which she was, still sleeping peacefully. 

Finn nodded, “Yeah, everything’s alright. You should come with me. Poe’s sending you out already.”

“What… you mean now?”

“Yeah,” Finn whispered, “Get your stuff together. I’ll take you to the tarmac.”

Ben did technically say he would go wherever Poe wanted him to go, he just didn’t expect it to be so soon and with so little warning. Still half-asleep, he haphazardly packed up clothes and personal items and even dressed himself in an outfit that wasn’t his pajamas, nearly tripping over a pant leg. Finn held back a laugh at that. 

When Ben was packed, he knelt down by Maisie’s cot and he brushed some of her curls away from her face. 

“Maisie…” he whispered, leaning in close to her ear. She stirred and her eyes fluttered but remained half-way closed. 

“I’ll see you when I get back. Goodbye,” Ben kissed her cheek. Maisie hummed. She didn’t seem to be fully awake at all, merely rolling herself over so her face was pressed into her pillow more, and she faded back to sleep. Ben didn’t even know if she’ll remember him saying goodbye, “I love you,” he reminded before standing and going with Finn. 

“So, I know it sounds cliche… but do you think you have some smuggler in you?”

Ben looked over at Finn in the dusky, misty early morning, that blue haze of almost-morning covering the base, “You’re not serious.”

“We have folks over in the Core Worlds that need weapons. And they’re very discreet over there, so we can’t just bust in like old friends and hand over guns. So… smuggling.”

Ben shook his head, “The Core Worlds are very densely populated. This sounds like a suicide mission.”

“Well, Poe didn’t want it to be easy.”

“Am I going alone?”

“No, he’s sending Chewie with you.”

Ben huffed and he had to grin, “Now this really is a cruel joke. And let me guess, we’re also taking the Fal—“

“The Falcon, yep.”

Ben sighed and tried to mentally prepare himself for this trip. 

“Ship’s been loaded already. Briefing materials have been downloaded to the ship’s drive. All you have to do is read up and do a little bit of planning and then be a pilot.”

“Don’t forget smuggler,” he saw the shadow of the Falcon as they approached the tarmac. 

“Let’s just hope some of those genes got passed on to you.”

When they got close enough to the ship to see it clearer, they were welcomed with Chewbacca already waving his arms telling Ben to hurry up. 

“Can I ask you something? It’s kind of a favor,” Ben faced Finn when they stopped walking.

“Go ahead.”

“Just watch over Maisie for me. I know you trust Poe… I want to… I just— I need her to be the same when I get back, if that makes sense.”

“She’ll be fine.”

Ben nodded and he looked back at the ship. He held his hand out to shake Finn’s, which the General did. And then he jogged over to the Falcon, ready as he’d ever be to get this show on the road. 


	28. Chapter 28

Maisie awoke and looked over at Ben’s bed. He was missing from it, and when she looked closer, so were his belongings. Maisie threw herself out of her bed and stormed off. 

“Ow!” Poe exclaimed as he got a sudden smack upside the back of his head, “What’s that for?”

 _Ben, you son of a bitch! Where is he!?_ she pointed and stamped her foot. 

Poe was barely awake himself, having just stood up to stretch. Now he was seated on his bed again and he sighed, shaking his head, “Kylo? He’s fine— Ow!”

Maisie kicked his shin, _Don’t call him that._

“I’ll be happy to tell you more just don’t freaking hit me again. Okay wait—!” Poe held his hands up in defense when Maisie motioned to pummel him with her fist, “Look! Finn’s coming! He’ll explain.”

“What will I explain?” Finn asked when he approached.

Maisie now turned her attention to Finn and hoped her eyes said enough. 

“Ben said goodbye to you this morning,” Finn said, “I saw him do it. You must’ve been asleep.”

_Goodbye?_

“He’s going on a mission for us. He’ll be gone for a while.”

Maisie stood still for a moment, taking this in. With a sudden spin, she was back to smacking Poe and punching him, _You bastard! You put him up to this!_

“O-Ow! Stop! Maisie, stop!” Poe fought off her hands and held them at bay, “I needed one more shred of proof, Mais. If he does this for us, he’s all good. We’re in the clear.”

 _He shouldn’t have to prove himself, you jackass!_ Maisie groaned and she started pacing. Poe’s beating caught the attention of other pilots just waking up from the commotion. It got a few of them chuckling. 

“He’ll be okay! He’s with Chewie.”

_Great, a Wookie who wants to murder him. Good idea._

“I’m sorry. I should’ve told you,” Poe said, holding his now sore left arm where Maisie pounded away. 

_Yeah, more like consulted with me,_ she glared at Poe through her tangled locks. 

Poe let her finish pacing as she simmered down. Then he said, “I can get someone to call him for you. If you want to hear from him.”

Maisie shook her head and scratched her scalp, _I need a shower,_ she walked off to gather her things. 

Maisie showered with her mind largely wandering. She stayed in much longer than she normally did and just zoned out. She didn’t want to be mad at Poe but the jerk just made it so easy. Maisie left the shower and had a hard time keeping her hair out of her face. She got to a mirror and outwardly groaned. It was getting too long. She’d always asked others to cut her hair for her in the past, and she always liked how it came out. But for right now, Maisie was in a zone. She eyed grooming products at the other end of the sink and she tapped her fingers on the sink counter. Her mind was going wild with information and emotions, and she needed something to channel it into. _Haircut. Perfect._

She got a buzzer and scissors and got to work. Being a technician and engineer, Maisie had pretty steady hands. She immediately felt tons lighter after buzzing off the hair at the back of her neck. She was so immersed in this activity and staring at herself in the mirror that she didn’t notice the many stares she received from crew passing through the restroom space. Once Maisie had the sides and back short as she wanted, basically buzzing it all down, she worked on chopping off the top of her hair. She didn’t want to go bald or anything, so she used scissors for this part mainly. 

“Ooh, honey?” a soldier Maisie recognized spoke from behind her and Maisie focused off herself in the mirror’s reflection and instead on the new person in view. She had a towel wrapped around her but she was dry, so she was about to go shower. Maisie waved sheepishly, this being the first interaction while chopping her hair off. 

“You want me to help even you out?” the soldier offered and Maisie smiled wide. She felt relieved and she saw the plain goodness in the soldier’s eyes for volunteering. Maisie nodded her head and she pulled up a stool from a changing stall. 

“You didn’t do too bad,” the soldier inspected Maisie’s head before getting to work, “Just needs some cleaning up.”

She worked and Maisie couldn’t be more thankful. Her mind was focused in on the task at hand and it was relaxing her whole being. 

“I bet this feels nice, huh? Can finally feel some air?”

Maisie nodded, eagerly watching what was being worked on in the mirror. 

“If I weren’t in this Resistance, I guarantee you I would’ve been a hairstylist on some bougie system,” the soldier giggled, as did Maisie, “I just have a love for it. You should’ve came and found me before you started lobbing off your beautiful curls, Colonel.”

Maisie’s lips twisted in a guilty fashion. _This was more a cutting of passion than logic._

When the soldier finished the top with her scissors, she ran her fingers through the bouncy curls and smiled, “Not too shabby.”

Maisie jumped up and fluffed out the hair left on top of her head and smiled wide in the mirror. She turned around and hugged the soldier. 

“You’re welcome,” she chuckled, “And I’m serious. Come look for me next time you need your hair did. It’s been a pleasure.”

Maisie let her go and she shook out her hair again. She felt less stuffy and heated with her neck free from hair, and the curls up top weren’t hanging in her eyes anymore.

 _New hair, new me,_ Maisie repeated to herself as she sized herself up in the mirror, looking at all possible angles.

Now that this activity was finished, Maisie wished she had a more pressing, personal matter to attend to. But alas, nothing. She couldn’t work on her own personal droids ever again… or at least without thorough planning. Ben wasn’t around to train with. But Poe was… Maisie considered it. She came up with a little idea, but she’d have to wait until tomorrow. For right now, for today, she made her way to the hangar and offered her services to editing and fixing up ships. Anything to keep busy. All the while she wondered where Poe sent Ben off to. 


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I haven't written for this series in a long time and I really want to get back into it. But for now, just know this may be the last installation for quite a while.

Maisie somehow was able to avoid Poe all day yesterday, which she needed. She needed to have alone time again, which shocked her to even think about, but it was true. For the past month, she’d basically spent every day with Ben, and if not with Ben, definitely with other Resistance members. She hadn’t had a moment to herself or spent a day caring for herself in so long. And that haircut was a great beginning to her day. So she slept in her cot that was normally next to Ben’s and slept soundly. 

And to Maisie’s utter shock, she purposely spent another day all by herself. Nearly two full days in a row! She kept to her work on ships or on other electrical equipment that needed it. And she felt gratified. 

So, on day three, Maisie finally figured she’d reintegrate into society. She caught up with Poe on his way to a late morning breakfast and nudged him from behind.

“Hey!” Poe greeted with surprise and delight, throwing an arm around Maisie’s shoulders, “I like the hair! Where’ve you been? I haven’t been able to get a hold of you.”

Maisie shrugged.

“Oh, remind me that I have something to give you later. It’s at my bunk.”

Maisie got excited. _A gift?_ She wondered what it could be. They got breakfast together and sat together. That’s when Maisie pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper from her pocket. She wrote down, _“Can you teach me some combat?”_

When Poe read, he looked up at Maisie, “You mean fighting?”

Maisie nodded, writing down further, _“I don’t feel comfortable taking those cadet courses.”_

Poe didn’t even need Maisie to explain why. He’d observed from time to time when she first got acquainted with the Resistance and she had to take basic training. She didn’t respond well to the commands and he did notice trainers treating her differently than everyone else. 

“I can,” Poe told Maisie, giving her hope, “But not today. I have to sort some things out with the higher-ups. But, if you’re eager, you can ask Finn.”

 _How come I never thought of that?_ Finn was an ex-Storm Trooper. Of course he had tons of experience in combat scenarios and training sequences. Maisie nodded her head to that suggestion and continued eating her breakfast. 

“Come, I gotta give you my little surprise,” Poe gestured to Maisie when they finished eating. Maisie eagerly went with him back to the bunks. 

“Close your eyes,” Poe instructed. Maisie gave him a look but rolled her eyes and shut them, lips left in a grin. 

“Tada!” Poe said and when Maisie opened her eyes he was holding a brand new notebook. It even said her name on the sleek, black leather-bound cover. Maisie beamed and she took it from Poe, giving it a once-over. 

“I saw you didn’t have it for a while now, and I just assumed you’d finished all the pages in the old one. Seeing you carry around garbage parchment really made me sad.”

Maisie chuckled at that and she gave Poe a big hug, _Thank you._

“Don’t mention it, Mais,” Poe rubbed Maisie’s back and then he said, “Well, I gotta get going. Finn’s probably doing inventory checks today, so you can find him in storage.”

Maisie nodded and she walked with Poe until they had to go their separate ways. The technician brought her new book along with her, figuring it would be helpful. She walked into storage to see Finn going over a checklist and speaking with the operator of the supply storage area. Maisie hung back to wait for him to finish his conversation, thumbing through some packages of rations along a wall. 

“Oh, hey!” Finn called and that’s when Maisie turned his way. She smiled. 

“Everything okay?” Finn asked.

Maisie nodded and that’s when she took out her book and leaned it against the wall, writing into it. Finn read what she wrote and he looked back at her, “If you’re serious about it, then yeah, I don’t mind helping you out. How ‘bout I meet you on the field in an hour. I just have to finish up a few things here.”

Maisie nodded. She was excited. She was getting that same feeling when Ben promised Maisie he’d train her in the Force. To a lesser extent, of course, but learning something new still excited her. 

Maisie made it to the large field out beyond the tarmac and picked an open area of land to work on. She watched as smaller groups of crew members played sports or games or were completing training of their own at different corners. 

“You ready to get started?” 

Maisie jumped and she spun around, Finn’s voice startling her. When Maisie nodded, Finn began. 

“I’m honored that you asked me to help you with this, by the way.”

Maisie tilted her head and made an obviously guilty looking smile grace her features. “Oh, so you asked Poe first,” now Finn sounded way less enthused. When Maisie nodded, Finn scoffed. 

“I shouldn’t be surprised,” Finn then shown a small smile, “No hard feelings, by the way. I get it. I’m second fiddle.”

Maisie giggled softly.

“Alright, enough of that. Let’s get to why you’re here.”

Finn wanted to start with basic exercise and muscle building. He knew Maisie to already be very strong, but he wanted to define her strength a bit more, maybe incorporate extra agility to her repertoire. 

When Maisie was given a break, Finn asked her, “Is being more accurate with a blaster on your bucket list?”

Maisie nodded, panting and wiping sweat off her brow. 

“Good, then we’ll get to that down the road, too.” 

Maisie leaned over and she patted Finn’s hand. _Thank you for this._ She then laid down on the grass to calm and center herself. She sunk her fingertips into the grass and felt the vibrations in the very ground beneath them. The air seemed to be radiating a heavy Force energy and she didn’t quite know why. It felt as if Ben was around and trying to work with her and her Force sensibility. 

“You think you’re ready for some hand to hand?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess,” and Maisie sat up with a groan and a nod of her head towards Finn. But when she made eye contact with him, he looked shaken by something. She furrowed her brow, “Finn? You okay?”

“Y-Yeah— you… you talked.”

Now it was Maisie’s turn to look shocked. Her fingertips were tingling. 

“You can hear me?”

Finn nodded.

Maisie’s eyes went wide, “Oh my god! Ha! Ben was wrong!” she now beamed, “I don’t need a Force connection with someone else to do this! Oh myhy god!” she giggled excitedly.

“This is trippy… and wait, what about the Force?”

“I’ve been training with Ben for so long and this just never worked with anyone else. But here it is! Proof!”

“So this is the Force doing this?”

“Yeah!”

“Well… it’s good to hear you,” Finn now smiled at Maisie.

“Yeah,” Maisie beamed, “It’s good to be heard. And hey, please don’t tell Poe about this. He doesn’t know I can… use the Force.”

Finn nodded and swatted at a bug flying around his head, “Oh don’t worry. He doesn’t know about me, either. You and Ben are now the only ones.”

Maisie cocked her head to one side inquisitively. She furrowed her brow in thought, “W-Wait… you’re Force sensitive?”

Finn looked around to make sure they weren’t being listened in on, then remembering he was the only one to hear Maisie so that was stupid anyway, and he responded, “Yes.”

Maisie’s heart sunk a little. So, Ben _was_ right. You do need a Force connection to be able to speak like this. It broke her heart a little more. Her hope was dwindling. What were the odds of this being a fluke? That it had nothing to do with Finn and the Force? That she could still train harder and harder and as hard as she needed to to be able to have a conversation with Poe like this? Maisie sighed outwardly, frowning. 

“Hey…” Finn spoke softly and rested a hand on Maisie’s thigh.

“Sorry,” Maisie snapped out of her funk, “Overwhelmed.”

“I get it. So Ben can hear you, huh?”

Maisie nodded.

“And he’s the only one because of the Force?”

“Now he’s not,” Maisie smiled at Finn.

Finn smiled back, “You know, your voice isn’t how I pictured.”

Maisie rolled her eyes and she chuckled, “Ben said the same thing.”

“I really like hearing you, though.”

“I can’t wait to tell Ben!” Maisie smiled wide, “Can you feel the Force like I do? Here?” she leaned forward and held Finn’s hands in her own, “I feel it right in my fingertips. Like everything’s just concentrated right there,” she shut her eyes and took a deep breath.

“I actually don’t. Is that bad?”

Maisie opened her eyes again and she hummed, “Hmm… I don’t know. That’s a question for Ben. I think everyone feels it differently. Hey, I could help you try and get more in touch with the Force. In return for you helping to train me in combat.”

“You’d do that?”

“I don’t know how good I’ll be at it, but I’ll sure give it a shot if it’ll help you.”

A smile spread across Finn’s lips and he held his hand out, “It’s a deal,” and he shook Maisie’s hand on it, “Alright, enough of this. Back to combat."

Maisie stood up with Finn’s help and he asked her to raise her hands and prepare to fight. 

“Just keep me from hitting you. And believe me, I’ll try to hit you,” Finn flashed a smirk. Maisie went on the defense immediately. Speed wasn’t always her biggest asset, so with keeping up with Finn’s movements, she struggled. She got whacked and punched and kicked a few times, but then she started to see the swings and kicks before they flew at her. She dodged and swerved. It was a short few moments where Maisie was successful.

Both panting and tired, Finn finally called it, “Alright. Cool. You did really well, Maisie. We have to work on the whole ’not-getting-hit’ thing, though.”

Maisie chuckled and she wiped sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand, “Yeah, I get it. Thank you again, Finn.”

“Of course. And again, it’s so cool to hear you.”

Maisie smiled wide and Finn matched her smile. She walked up to him and squeezed him in a hug. It felt amazing to be building connections like this. 

So, they made it back to the bunks as night had fallen rather suddenly on the pair. Maisie trudged over to her bunk and looked over at Ben’s empty one, the sight upsetting her. She was starting to miss him a lot. Maisie got dressed for bed and sat in her cot, feeling uncomfortable. She glanced over at the vacant bed to her right again and sighed, standing up. The technician gathered up her top blanket and made her way across the common sleeping area. She saw Poe already sitting in his bed, but he was awake and talking to another pilot. 

“Hey,” Poe said, surprised when he saw Maisie come over, “Everything okay?” he noted the blanket in her hands.

Maisie nodded and she pointed to the empty bed beside Poe. 

The pilot smiled softly, “Yeah, go ahead. Make yourself at home."

Maisie went over and she made the bed how she liked it, throwing her own blanket over it. She kicked off her slippers and slid her feet under the sheets. She watched as Poe finished his conversation and he laid down in his own bed, one arm resting behind his head. 

“I heard your training went well,” Poe now spoke to Maisie. She nodded. 

“Alright, I can see you’re tired. So I’ll shut up. Goodnight, Mais.”

 _Goodnight._ She wished he could hear her say it back. 


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heyy I wrote another one! (I was in the mood for something totally self-indulgent and pointless, please don't crucify me)

Two weeks.

It’d been two weeks, and they only heard from Ben and Chewbacca twice. Once to let home base know they were arriving into the Core World sector, and once to let them know they landed and were beginning the smuggling process. That was it. And that last transmission the base received was six days ago. Maisie didn’t let her worry show, and even beyond that, she tried to will herself to not worry. It was Ben Solo, after all. The guy was a Jedi; he had a lightsaber; he could handle himself. There were probably very few people in the whole galaxy that could take him down. But Maisie hadn’t even spoken to Ben in those two weeks. She wasn’t there when the base got the two transmissions. To keep her mind from straying towards dwelling on Ben too much, she focused on her combat training. Finn had been so impressed with how quickly Maisie was picking up hand-to-hand (and with some of Maisie’s own urging), they migrated to weapon use. Maisie needed more help with this part. But she was willing to learn, and it was all made easier now that she could communicate with Finn using her words. 

“I’m feeling something.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… ohhhh yeah… it’s like all— woah!”

Finn froze up when he saw a single stick floating off the ground, “I’m doing that… I’m doing that!”

Maisie laughed softly, clapping her hands together. In between her combat training, Maisie snuck Finn out to the clearing in the woods she’d trained at with Ben to help him focus his Force sensitivity. They were currently there, sitting in the soft, lush grass together. 

The stick fell to the ground after maybe ten seconds airborne, but Finn was ecstatic. 

“I saw Rey use the Force a few times. And it was always so distant from me, you know?” Finn spoke, looking at Maisie, “I never coulda done that without some help. So thank you.”

“Of course. It’s been a pleasure,” Maisie smiled. A friend in Finn. She never would’ve thought she’d be this close with Finn. Gaining another friend to her small inner circle just felt so right. 

That night, the pair were able to eat supper with Poe and a few other Resistance crew close to him. Poe had been busy as of late leading a research team that would strategize about how to go about looking for further First Order supporters. They were closing in on a small cluster of them on the side of these escapades, which was really promising. Poe finally had a moment to breathe and he gathered with his friends outside the food hall, sitting on tree stumps, logs, or blankets around a small fire. It was a beautiful, clear night. Maisie could see every star in the near and far distance when she looked up. 

“So, I grab this huge metal pipe, and I swing it around and use it like a bat,” Poe was on his feet, miming the movements, “And I freakin’ swung this pipe as hard as I could and it wound up taking a battle droid’s upper half clean off! It was incredible!” he reveled in the usual raucous and cheering his stories of battle normally got. But Maisie was just smirking to herself. 

She made eye contact with Finn from across the fire and said, “He exaggerates, you know. The huge pipe was a pretty average size, and he only got the droid’s head off. Someone else had to shoot the thing in the chest to decommission it.”

Finn chortled, tapping his chest with his fist to make his laugh come off as a cough. Finn hadn’t yet learned how to communicate back to Maisie telepathically. That was something Ben would have to teach him. So all he could do was listen. 

“Pretty much every story you’ve ever heard from him, it’s been edited. Even stories where I wasn’t a part of them, I can usually pinpoint the lies. Take note of anything ‘huge’ or ‘crazy’ or ‘genius’, or pretty much anything that sounds impossible.”

Finn nodded his head subtly, grinning. 

“… oh Maisie remembers this one,” she was drawn back into Poe’s new story when he nudged her arm, “Tatooine. The-The pod things— Pod racing! Oh my gohod! This one’s _crazy!”_

Maisie glanced over at Finn and the two started giggling amongst themselves. 

“Something funny?” Poe took notice for once, usually being so wrapped up in his own wild tale. 

Maisie started to laugh harder and she shook her head. Finn was left to try and calm his own giggles, “No! No, nothing’s funny.”

“Well, I mean, _some_ things are funny, you don’t have to be a dick about it."

Maisie was holding onto her middle, her laugh coming out in squeaks now. And Finn dug his grave deeper by chancing another look at Maisie, which made him just start laughing again. By now, the whole small group that had gathered around the fire with them was dispersing. It was late enough, and they already heard the pod racing story before. 

Maisie peeked an eye open in between breaths to look at Poe, because his facial reactions were always pretty great. But she surprised herself to see nothing but love written on the man’s face. He was looking at Finn and holding back a smile of his own, but he couldn’t. He was clearly enamored by the man’s laughter. And Maisie thought it was really sweet to see Poe feeling this way. But then that whip of jealousy stung her and she wished Poe would look at _her_ like that. 

“Alright alright, calm down, you lunatics,” Poe took his seat, no longer filling the need for a standing, animated reenactment of some high-stakes adventure. 

Maisie wiped a tear from her eye as she calmed down. Finn was slowly coming to on his end, having fallen over onto his back on the floor. 

“Wohow, Poe, you’re— you’re really funny,” Finn teased.

Poe rolled his eyes, “I’ll show you funny,” and he shot himself over towards Finn’s blanket and he started what to Maisie looked like wrestling with him. But when she heard Finn giggling sweetly again, she knew Poe was tickling him. A lump formed in her throat and a pit grew in her belly. Maisie hugged her knees up to her chest, outwardly grinning at the scene in front of her, but internally a mess of emotion. Poe’s sudden, sharp laughter drew her back to the scene at hand. Finn was obviously not very ticklish, but Poe was, and boy was Finn taking advantage. Maisie felt a blush rise to her cheeks for no reason, _no reason dammit stop it._

But hey, what was stopping her from getting in on the action? 

“Need some help?” Maisie asked Finn, already motioning to crawl towards them. She knew from experience what a thrasher Poe was. 

“Please!” Finn exclaimed, relieved and happy-sounding. 

Maisie went over and she stuck her hands down by Poe’s knees and started squeezing both of them at the same time. Finn was busy just continuously kneading into Poe’s sides. That seemed to be all the guy knew. 

“NAHAHahahoho! Mais! Mais, come ohon!” Poe was now pleading with his new attacker, kicking even harder. 

“Finn, you gotta get him better than that if you wanna win this,” Maisie playfully admonished as she sat on Poe’s thighs, now facing Poe’s front. Finn leaned back to watch the master at work. 

Maisie wiggled her fingers in the air to taunt Poe and it registered with him all too well, “No! You’re gonna kihill me! Finn, don’t let her— I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorreeEEHEHEHE!” 

Oh what a mess their leader had become with just Maisie’s two hands: one digging into his stomach and the other massaging into his ribs. 

Finn giggled and he covered his mouth with his hand. It was just too precious a sight, “You were right, I should learn from you,” Finn smiled at Maisie. 

Maisie kept her attack up until she knew Poe was just about too weak to get her back. But she remained pinning his legs, still giving quick pokes or jabs to his midriff while he laid there in recovery. 

“Don’t think I forgot about you.”

Maisie turned her head and was met with a very mischievous Finn grinning at her. Her eyes went wide, “Nuh-uh! I helped you!”

“I mean, it’s only fair,” Finn reached his hands out at the same moment Poe shot up and dug in without mercy into Maisie’s sides. Maisie screamed bloody murder and she fell off of Poe, trying to escape his fingers. 

“Now how do you like that!” Poe taunted, feeling redeemed. Maisie was able to kick enough to crawl herself away from Poe and slapped at Finn’s hands when they came near her. _What is wrong with these two idiots that they think I’ll just let them tickle me? It takes a lot more to take me down._

Maisie gained some distance from the pair and she scrambled to her feet, immediately taking off towards the bunks. When she got close to the place, she slowed and looked behind her, honestly not expecting either of them to be tailing her. She pictured them happy to finally get a moment alone together. But nope, she was horribly wrong. Poe came into view first, charging at her at top speed. Maisie yelped and ran into the bunk compound. She didn’t know what would be best. Just stop running? Give up and maybe they’d get bored? Maybe go back to the bunk next to Ben’s bunk. Or just go straight to the bed beside Poe’s— _oof!_

Maisie shrieked when she was picked up around her middle. She took too long to make a move and it failed her. Her legs were kicking in the air as she was hefted away deeper into the bunks, and Finn came up and held her kicking legs in place. 

“Finn! You freaking cheater! Tell him to put me down!”

Finn just shook his head, a big smile splitting his face. Ugh, he had a cute smile, the damn fiend. Maisie couldn’t get pissed at Finn. Poe, however… 

Maisie started to punch at Poe’s arm and she reached back to try and smack him in the face, but he dodged it all and seemed to not mind the assault. He was on a mission. Poe plopped Maisie onto his bed and immediately went for her sides again. He knew they were a bad spot and he was letting it show. 

“Mais, I totally forgot you were ticklish. Don’t ask me how because this was freaking golden information,” Poe scratched his calloused fingers on Maisie’s belly and she snorted, trying to roll over and curl in on herself. 

“I remember these being really— ow!” Finn had tried to reach for Maisie’s shoe but she kicked him in the arm before he could get there. 

“She’s a fighter, Finn. You gotta be careful.”

“Yeah, I’ll say. Ow!” he repeated, rubbing his throbbing arm. 

“Alright, easy,” Poe stopped tickling Maisie and he blocked all swings headed his way, “I’m done. Geez, you’re a pain to tickle,” he gave a sharp squeeze to her thigh and Maisie yelped again, whining. Maisie’s cheeks were beet red because she knew they garnered an audience from the crew around them that was trying to get some sleep. 

“But I always said and I still will say, that you have the cutest smile right after you’ve been tickled. Don’t roll your eyes at me, you do! Doesn’t she, Finn?”

This did not help the blushing situation at all. And Maisie did not appreciate being babied. 

Maisie shoved at Poe, but he was right back on her, “You’re cute.”

Maisie huffed, trying to look anywhere but at Poe’s face which was inches away from her own. He was holding her wrists down onto the thin cot mattress. She definitely didn’t expect him to bury his face into her neck and start nibbling. Maisie was sure she made the most embarrassing noise of her life, right before delving into helpless wheezes and squeaks. _This was so close to being my innermost fantasy_ , Maisie thought in the back of her mind, _Minus the tickling._

Poe officially stopped and let go of Maisie after giving her cheek a kiss. 

“She’s got a little dimple,” Finn remarked, having looked on this whole time from his seat on the edge of Maisie’s bed. He pointed to his own cheek, “Right here.”

Poe looked down at Maisie and he smiled, “Oh yeah. I never noticed before.”

“Can you two idiots please stop talking about me as if I’m not even here?” Maisie looked Finn’s way as she caught her breath. She socked Poe in the arm for good measure before she sat up and moved to her own bed. 

Finn laughed at what Maisie said combined with the look she was giving him. 

“I’m sleeping in my old bunk tonight,” Maisie decided, not wanting to be tormented the rest of the night. She patted Finn’s arm, “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Finn replied, smiling. He opened his arms and hugged her, and Maisie couldn’t not smile while being hugged by Finn’s innocence. 

She walked towards Poe slowly and narrowed her eyes at him, but all he could do was smile. 

“Don’t go to bed angry, it isn’t good for you.”

Maisie rolled her eyes and a smile found its way to her lips. She went up to Poe and gave him a hug, a show of peace and no hard feelings.

Before she walked away, she looked at Finn again, “You should ask if you could sleep next to him. He won’t stop talking to you all night if you do,” and she winked before jogging off to her old bunk. Now Finn was a little flustered. He regained himself and saw Poe looking at him with those eyes… yeah, maybe they’d get no sleep tonight. 

Maisie happily made it back to her own bunk and she was hit with a sudden wave of longing shrouded in sadness while looking at Ben’s empty bed. He would’ve had fun tonight, she just knew it. She could’ve been making fun of Poe like she did for Finn but Ben would’ve enjoyed the roasts so much more. He would’ve definitely tried to humiliate Poe as much as he could. He would’ve been smiling and laughing… 

Maisie undressed for bed and she crawled into Ben’s bunk. She didn’t know what she was hoping for. Maybe the sheets would smell like him? They didn’t, she concluded after she stuffed her nose into his pillow. 

The technician just really missed Ben Solo. She hadn’t realized how much she’d come to depend on him until she hadn’t heard from him in two weeks. She wished the Force could let her reach across the galaxy and see him. She heard stories about how Rey was being tormented by her connection with Kylo Ren; how he kept finding her and they were getting closer. Maisie wanted a little bit of that. Just for a minute or two. She fell asleep that night with her face pushed into Ben’s pillow and her hand holding the sheets he laid on. 


	31. Chapter 31

Maisie slept well until the early morning hours, before the sun even peeked over the horizon. She slept well until she started having odd flashes of what she would think of as a dream. But they were like sudden bursts where it felt like her whole being was being transported in her sleep. I repeat, very odd.

Maisie squirmed in Ben’s cot, eyes starting to strain to remain shut. Her brain felt like it was fritzing out. A few more tosses and turns later and Maisie shot upright in her bed, taking in a huge breath, gulping for air. Panting and wanting to whine and cry, Maisie shot herself out of the bed and bolted across the rows and rows of sleeping Resistance members. _Poe! Gotta wake Poe— No, Finn! Finn can hear me._

Maisie almost knocked into the bed Finn was in with how fast she was moving and she violently shook his arm. Finn jumped awake and tried reaching for a blaster, but when he saw it was Maisie, he stopped.

“Maisie? What’s—“

“It’s Ben. Ben’s in trouble. Please, Finn, you have to help me.”

“Woah, hang on, what do you mean he’s in trouble? How do you know?”

“I-I just know. I had like a-a vision or something. He’s in trouble, he called out for me, he needs me. Please, please—“

“Okay, okay, calm down,” Finn touched Maisie’s arm, and he could practically feel her vibrating from anxiety. The Force was tense around the two of them.

“Could you maybe keep it down?” came a very groggy voice from the next cot over.

“Poe,” Finn now spoke the man’s name, clearer and with intention.

“What? Whatsa matter?” the pilot rolled over in his bed and was rubbing his eyes. When he blinked them open, he could make out Maisie in the darkness and both she and Finn were staring at him. 

“We’re gonna have to go,” Finn stood out of his bed and started gathering things together.

“Go? Go where? Wait, what’s happening?” Poe sat up in his cot and squinted at the two of them, “Mais, what’s going on?”

“I’ll explain. We need a ship,” Finn got to business, pulling a thick shirt over his thin sleep shirt. Maisie could’ve hugged Finn if she wasn’t feeling so frightened. She loved how he took initiative. She ran back to her own things to gather a few gadgets and a weapon, and anything else she thought of that could help. When she finished throwing on more protective clothing than her pajamas, she ran back to Poe’s bed and saw him also basically ready to go. He was lacing up his boots and Finn was throwing a bag over his shoulder.

“Come on, we’ll go get a ship ready,” Finn went over to Maisie and touched her shoulder. Maisie nodded and followed him out of the bunks. Poe jogged to catch up with them, still shaking his head to get the sleep out of it. 

“So, you saw this or something? Is what Finn’s telling me true? How?” Poe was shouting to ask as Maisie was far ahead of him and already entering the ship hangar. Finn glanced at Maisie to see if she’d want him to mention anything. Maisie kept her gaze focused on finding the right ship. _This will count as a rescue mission, no? So maybe we’d need a ship with enough room for passengers. But it would also need guns—_

“Here,” Poe turned and started loading onto a souped-up CR-20 they acquired a long time ago. It was a prototype version the Republic never ended up using way back in the day that Resistance engineers, including Maisie, worked on building when they got the blueprints. With some editing, they made a more compact version, complete with exterior weapons and a much faster and smoother control system, as well as still enough room for 20 troops if all stuffed in the cargo compartment. Exactly what they needed.

Maisie loaded onto the ship with Finn and Poe. 

“It’d be great if someone could fill me in on how exactly you got this information,” Poe had already started to prepare this ship for takeoff. Finn took a seat in the co-pilot chair and he looked back at Maisie, standing in the cockpit entryway. Maisie was tense and worry-stricken. 

“It came to her in…” Finn started speaking, “In like a feeling. You ever have those?”

“No,” Poe looked directly at Finn.

“Tell him, Finn,” Maisie spoke, not wanting to hear Poe complaining about this fact or act mistrustful because of his not-knowing. It could delay them and strongly hurt Ben’s chances of an escape. 

“Maisie, that’s kind of a lot to handle right now…” Finn started to say but he saw the genuine look in Maisie’s eyes and he just couldn’t say no to her. He looked at Poe as they were pulling out onto the tarmac. The sun had just come up over the horizon, casting a breathtaking purple glow across the moon. Maisie left the cockpit and sat by herself in the holding area towards the middle of the ship, strapping herself in. 

“Maisie’s got the Force. And-And so do I. That’s how she knows. That’s how I know what she knows.”

Poe looked right at Finn and there seemed to be a moment of malfunction in his expression and demeanor. Like he froze up. But he quickly brushed that aside, remaining silent, as he looked ahead of him and geared them up for takeoff. His brow was heavily furrowed. Finn’s head hit the headrest of his seat pretty abruptly due to the sudden takeoff. 

Maisie was curled in on herself in the seat she buckled into. She heard Ben. Really heard him. And she knew it wasn’t a dream because she knew what dreams felt like; hell, she knew even better what nightmares felt like. But this wasn’t one. It was so raw, so present. 

_“Help me,”_ Ben said. His voice sounded strained and weak, _“Maisie, help us.”_

He said her name and then she swore she heard a scream, and that’s what made her shoot up in bed. The technician didn’t know where he was but she knew he was in trouble. And if Ben Solo, Jedi and former Supreme Leader of the insanely powerful First Order was in trouble… this would be a difficult rescue mission. 

_God, that scream…_

Maisie pushed her face into her knees and wrapped her arms around over her head. Something was seriously wrong and it was freaking her out. She could usually handle pressure well, considering what she dealt with growing up. But having Ben be the one in distress really brought back the most painful memories from her life, the ones that would give her panic attacks years prior to now. Maisie whined and her whole body shook. 

“How long have you known?”

Poe’s voice sounded tired. That’s the best way Finn could describe it. 

“About which?”

Poe huffed through his nose and shook his head, eyes never leaving the black space in front of them as he piloted, “Anything. You, her, whatever.”

“I don’t know when Maisie found out. She told me Ben helped her discover it, so I guess since they became friendly. And I feel like I always kinda knew, to be honest…” Finn looked down towards the control panel, “But Ben told me he sensed it in me back before you sent him away.”

Poe grit his teeth together, “And no one thought of telling me?”

“Well, Maisie didn’t want to. And honestly, with the way you’re reacting now, I kinda don’t blame her.”

“Oh blow me, Finn,” Poe finally shot his head Finn’s way, “This is some big news, and the fact that you both kept it from me is just…” he shook his head, biting on his lip to try and hold back his budding anger. 

“Well, you’re gonna have to talk with Maisie to get her explanation. I didn’t tell you because she asked me to keep it quiet— about hers, I mean. But I just went with the secrecy. I truthfully didn’t know for sure if I was Force-sensitive or whatever, and I didn’t want to be telling you or anyone until I was certain. And now I am,” Finn leaned closer to Poe, “I’m sorry. I should’ve kept you in the loop.”

“You think?” Poe snapped. Yeah, he was gonna be snappy for a while. 

Finn sighed and he rubbed his temple before sitting back in his seat, staring out at the galaxy before them. Poe purposely sent Ben and Chewie far away, so it would take them a pretty long while to get to the Core World. 

The atmosphere in the ship was tense, to say the least. 


End file.
